At Last
It just didn't seem possible77 total reviews
Comment from Susanne M. Psyris
Great entry into the contest. I was hooked into it from line one and enjoyed the read immensely. The ending is such a surprise...I didn't imagine her in a wheelchair; I just assumed she was perfect in every way. Made me think about my perception of perfection...great write. Good luck in the contest. Hugs and smiles, Susanne
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2010
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Great entry into the contest. I was hooked into it from line one and enjoyed the read immensely. The ending is such a surprise...I didn't imagine her in a wheelchair; I just assumed she was perfect in every way. Made me think about my perception of perfection...great write. Good luck in the contest. Hugs and smiles, Susanne
Comment Written 10-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2010
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Wow! How encouraging with a six, even!m Thank you, thank you, Susanne...Bob
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You are very welcome and this piece, so deserving! Hugs and smiles, Susanne
Comment from pugdogy
excellent job here!!!
How Romantic,,,This piece of writing lets the reader walk into the restaurant with you and become one of those patrons who are sitting gawking, then applauding and whistling. This is deffinately a fantastic entry for the contest,,,,keep up the great writing.
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2010
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excellent job here!!!
How Romantic,,,This piece of writing lets the reader walk into the restaurant with you and become one of those patrons who are sitting gawking, then applauding and whistling. This is deffinately a fantastic entry for the contest,,,,keep up the great writing.
Comment Written 10-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2010
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Thanks again, Pugdogy. I truly appreciate this...Bob
Comment from nor84
She wore a little black dress that (was)hemmed just above the >>it you don't want 'was', just say a little black dress, hemmed just above the knee,
Soft violins played in the background to further enhance the mood of the patrons. >>>I'd cut 'of the patrons'.
I told you that, didn't I?" she said.>>with two people in the scene, you can cut 'she said.'
My heart was beating so loud during our meal,I was sure I could hear it. >>>did you mean 'she' could hear it?
Her smile challenged the tears forming in her eyes. >>>good sentence
Very nice, Bob.
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2010
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She wore a little black dress that (was)hemmed just above the >>it you don't want 'was', just say a little black dress, hemmed just above the knee,
Soft violins played in the background to further enhance the mood of the patrons. >>>I'd cut 'of the patrons'.
I told you that, didn't I?" she said.>>with two people in the scene, you can cut 'she said.'
My heart was beating so loud during our meal,I was sure I could hear it. >>>did you mean 'she' could hear it?
Her smile challenged the tears forming in her eyes. >>>good sentence
Very nice, Bob.
Comment Written 10-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2010
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Thanks so much, Norma. As usual, you are a big help...Bob
Comment from sgalletti
AHHHH! This MUST get a six from me. You have described my Johnny Boy's and my own Valentine's Days to a tee! We even (a year and a half ago at 75 and 63 respectively!) left our own Catholic wedding to the tune of "At Last" by Ms. Etta James. The talent, emotion and sincerity of this lovely story are typically attributed to a woman writer. You have crossed that boundary, my friend--and, very successfully! Sue
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2010
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AHHHH! This MUST get a six from me. You have described my Johnny Boy's and my own Valentine's Days to a tee! We even (a year and a half ago at 75 and 63 respectively!) left our own Catholic wedding to the tune of "At Last" by Ms. Etta James. The talent, emotion and sincerity of this lovely story are typically attributed to a woman writer. You have crossed that boundary, my friend--and, very successfully! Sue
Comment Written 10-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2010
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Thanks so much, Sue! Wow! What parallels! And the six is so much the frosting on your review cake! Bob
Comment from AmorGentil
Romance, passion, sensuality, this is always a good mix
It provides the good ingredients to make a good story
A good love story, especially in the month of February.
Congratulations.
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2010
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Romance, passion, sensuality, this is always a good mix
It provides the good ingredients to make a good story
A good love story, especially in the month of February.
Congratulations.
Comment Written 10-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2010
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Thanks so much, Amor...I truly appreciate your time...Bob
Comment from Curt Mongold
A truly inspirational and one of the most real stories for valentine's that I have read, true or not. You really have a gift for the story, it shows in each choice of wording and inflection of sound you pen. I was wrapped up in it the whole way, and the ending is too precious.
A pleasure, my friend,
C.
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2010
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A truly inspirational and one of the most real stories for valentine's that I have read, true or not. You really have a gift for the story, it shows in each choice of wording and inflection of sound you pen. I was wrapped up in it the whole way, and the ending is too precious.
A pleasure, my friend,
C.
Comment Written 10-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2010
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Thanks so much, Curt. Tremendous review! Bob
Comment from lola29
Bob, that was a wonderful story. I'm in love with love, so for me, it was a beautiful and romantic scene. The proposal put it over the top.
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2010
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Bob, that was a wonderful story. I'm in love with love, so for me, it was a beautiful and romantic scene. The proposal put it over the top.
Comment Written 10-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2010
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Thanks so much, Lola. I am pleased that you liked it especially from a talent like you, I am very grateful...Bob
Comment from Razz
Very beautiful. I loved it. I read it twice.
Very romantic and kept me waiting for the surprise too.
"At Last," moves my heart everytime.
Did you mean to say this:
My heart was beating so loud during our meal,...I was sure I.. could hear it
Or
"she"
Have a magical day.
Razz
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2010
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Very beautiful. I loved it. I read it twice.
Very romantic and kept me waiting for the surprise too.
"At Last," moves my heart everytime.
Did you mean to say this:
My heart was beating so loud during our meal,...I was sure I.. could hear it
Or
"she"
Have a magical day.
Razz
Comment Written 10-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2010
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Thanks, Razz. No I meant me hearing it...but I like it better your way....LOL...changed as such...Bob
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Hi Bob,
That's funny. Maybe because I am a woman. I liked thinking that you were worried she would hear it... and many men would understand the concern...
I read it again, loved it. I have another question. You stated what she was doing in the clinic, but not what you were there for.
Razz
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Ssome things have to go unsaid, Razz...LOL...Bob (fiction, you know)
Comment from Lady & Louis
Love it, Bob! Absolutely love it. It is SO romantic but it isn't gushy and doesn't feel like it could only be fiction. It's how I feel with Louis! And it's the way he feels with me, and shows it, too. The scene in the car ... lol I won't go into that, but yeah!
There were two miniscule typos: a missing space and a full stop that should be a comma -
during our meal,I was sure - insert space
I saw you at the clinic." I whispered, - clinic," I whispered,
- but no WAY do they detract from this being a six-star in my book. Just a delightful story, all round; the mention of Lynie's wheelchair at the end is just the icing on the cake (actually it was the laugh of Bill realising they had an audience that made the ending, for me).
Bravo and good luck in the contest!
Louise :))
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2010
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Love it, Bob! Absolutely love it. It is SO romantic but it isn't gushy and doesn't feel like it could only be fiction. It's how I feel with Louis! And it's the way he feels with me, and shows it, too. The scene in the car ... lol I won't go into that, but yeah!
There were two miniscule typos: a missing space and a full stop that should be a comma -
during our meal,I was sure - insert space
I saw you at the clinic." I whispered, - clinic," I whispered,
- but no WAY do they detract from this being a six-star in my book. Just a delightful story, all round; the mention of Lynie's wheelchair at the end is just the icing on the cake (actually it was the laugh of Bill realising they had an audience that made the ending, for me).
Bravo and good luck in the contest!
Louise :))
Comment Written 10-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2010
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Wow! You honor me, Louise. A six coming from you is grand! And thanks for the tips...Bob
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My pleasure! I enjoyed this story so much, and you wrote it well - ultra-romantic without any gush!
Louise :))
Comment from Deejharrington
A wildly romantic and happy story. I loved the slight twist that she was in a wheel chair, it made it even more touching. The world needs more men like this! The best of luck in the contest.
deb
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2010
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A wildly romantic and happy story. I loved the slight twist that she was in a wheel chair, it made it even more touching. The world needs more men like this! The best of luck in the contest.
deb
Comment Written 10-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2010
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Hi, Deb and thanks so much formyour wonderful comment..Bob