Chronicles of the Wandering Man
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "Black Moon Glinting"An extended story in poem form
89 total reviews
Comment from Kathryn Varuzza
Mike,
I like it.
Your story in a poem.
Good image and visual presentation for this.
Flows well.
I liked your rhymes.
I like your title.
I like the XIV part the best.
Good job.
Kathryn
reply by the author on 03-May-2010
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Mike,
I like it.
Your story in a poem.
Good image and visual presentation for this.
Flows well.
I liked your rhymes.
I like your title.
I like the XIV part the best.
Good job.
Kathryn
Comment Written 02-May-2010
reply by the author on 03-May-2010
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Thank you, Kathryn :-). XIV was a let addition because it didn't feel properly concluded to me, and I'm heartily glad I spent the extra time writing it.
Mike
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Mike,
You're welcome.
kathryn
Comment from foreveradalia
Night Adam in a lifeless waste,
Night Eve to plant a tree.
The future would be ours to mould;
perhaps
my destiny?
I love this part of your poem. It symbolized to me a lot. I can't wait to read the rest, please send the rest to me. It's awesome!
reply by the author on 03-May-2010
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Night Adam in a lifeless waste,
Night Eve to plant a tree.
The future would be ours to mould;
perhaps
my destiny?
I love this part of your poem. It symbolized to me a lot. I can't wait to read the rest, please send the rest to me. It's awesome!
Comment Written 02-May-2010
reply by the author on 03-May-2010
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Thank you! What a wonderful review :-). I'll be working on the next installment very soon.
Mike
Comment from jwlee211
Wow great poem. You construct each stanza well. You use strong words to help the reader create images in their mind and follow the poem. Great job
reply by the author on 03-May-2010
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Wow great poem. You construct each stanza well. You use strong words to help the reader create images in their mind and follow the poem. Great job
Comment Written 02-May-2010
reply by the author on 03-May-2010
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Thank you; I'm really glad the dexcription came across strongly.
Mike
Comment from bowls
This is the first bit of your poem/story that I've read and I'm amazed how well you're able to maintain a steady rhythm and find suitable rhymes that make sense. It must have taken a very long time to do this! Perhaps you'll be the next Geoffrey Chaucer.
reply by the author on 03-May-2010
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This is the first bit of your poem/story that I've read and I'm amazed how well you're able to maintain a steady rhythm and find suitable rhymes that make sense. It must have taken a very long time to do this! Perhaps you'll be the next Geoffrey Chaucer.
Comment Written 02-May-2010
reply by the author on 03-May-2010
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Thank you, Bowls; what a great compliment :-). My rule is, if I get stuck, write what I mean without the rhyme then come back and have another look later.
Mike
Comment from dragonpoet
I like the flow of the poem and the story of Medusa and the man coming back from the dead (possibly). I like mythology so the use of Medusa makes it more interesting.
The only error I found is nowt should be naught.
Keep writing
dragonpoet
reply by the author on 03-May-2010
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I like the flow of the poem and the story of Medusa and the man coming back from the dead (possibly). I like mythology so the use of Medusa makes it more interesting.
The only error I found is nowt should be naught.
Keep writing
dragonpoet
Comment Written 02-May-2010
reply by the author on 03-May-2010
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Thank you, Dragon :-). I enjoyed using elements of mythology in this one; they made for a strong metaphor for the situation. Nowt is just an English vvariant of Naught, but it's thrown a lot of reviewers!
Mike
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You're welcome. I've included some mythical beings in my poems too.
Joan
Comment from Oatmeal
Fleedleflump,
You did a very nice job with part one. The story line was good. Your description words were well chosen. Very reflective, all thoughts are very well described, understandable and comprehensible.
There was no SPAG. No typos. No homophones. No problems at all.
I look forward to seeing you again.
Love you,
Oatmeal
reply by the author on 03-May-2010
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Fleedleflump,
You did a very nice job with part one. The story line was good. Your description words were well chosen. Very reflective, all thoughts are very well described, understandable and comprehensible.
There was no SPAG. No typos. No homophones. No problems at all.
I look forward to seeing you again.
Love you,
Oatmeal
Comment Written 02-May-2010
reply by the author on 03-May-2010
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Thank you, Oatmeal. Your input is always greatly appreciated. So glad you enjoyed the read!
Mike
Comment from harleyangelbrat
This is really good. It is descriptive and expressive which made for an interesting read. I thoroughly enjoyed reading another chapter of your story in poetry. It is wonderful. I look forward to reading more. Excellent read, God bless you!
reply by the author on 03-May-2010
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This is really good. It is descriptive and expressive which made for an interesting read. I thoroughly enjoyed reading another chapter of your story in poetry. It is wonderful. I look forward to reading more. Excellent read, God bless you!
Comment Written 02-May-2010
reply by the author on 03-May-2010
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Thank you, HAB :-). I'm so glad you're continuing to enjoy my saga. Interlude coming up next!
Mike
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You are always welcome. Have a blessed day. Marilyn
Comment from Carol D Parker
I enjoyed the read very much. It's almost perfect. Except for one word: "Nowt" I believe is suppposed to be "naught" which means nothing. But the poem is aces. I was impressed by the beautiful language, the excellent rhyme and meter. The story is very interesting. Great job.
Delora
reply by the author on 03-May-2010
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I enjoyed the read very much. It's almost perfect. Except for one word: "Nowt" I believe is suppposed to be "naught" which means nothing. But the poem is aces. I was impressed by the beautiful language, the excellent rhyme and meter. The story is very interesting. Great job.
Delora
Comment Written 02-May-2010
reply by the author on 03-May-2010
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Thank you, Delora. Nowt is an English form of Naught, but I've noticed it's not known across the ocean as many reviewers have picked it out!
Thank you for your wonderful comments. You have lifted my heart this cold Monday morning in South East London.
Mike
Comment from fictionwriter
Well being rescued by a chick with snakes for hair would make me wonder what the world's coming to. I enjoyed this poem. Great job.
reply by the author on 03-May-2010
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Well being rescued by a chick with snakes for hair would make me wonder what the world's coming to. I enjoyed this poem. Great job.
Comment Written 02-May-2010
reply by the author on 03-May-2010
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lol, for certain, but I reckon if we'd been eating radiation for breakfast for a hundred years, a chick with snakes for hair would consitute a pretty normal day :-).
Mike
Comment from Harrisa
I enjoyed reading your poem about the wondering man, and I'm glad he got rescued. Maybe this will be an opportunity to begin again. I loved the rhymes and the smooth rhythm of your writing.
reply by the author on 03-May-2010
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I enjoyed reading your poem about the wondering man, and I'm glad he got rescued. Maybe this will be an opportunity to begin again. I loved the rhymes and the smooth rhythm of your writing.
Comment Written 02-May-2010
reply by the author on 03-May-2010
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Thank you, Harrisa. Yes, certainly he has a chance to start anew now. We shall see how well it goes ...
Mike