Comment from judiverse

Excellent

This is really touching. It has a stately flow that suits the subject of the World War I soldiers who gave their all. As you write, they left behind personal considerations, their homes and loved ones. Excellent rhyme. Next to last line, use plural "Thoughts of love were left behind." (Thoughts is plural.) judi

 Comment Written 26-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 26-Jun-2014

Thanks

reply by judiverse on 27-Jun-2014

You're welcome. judi

Comment from LIJ Red

Excellent

If I may voice an opinion...drop the word help in the fourth line. It's a strong syllable too many
Also THOUGHTS being plural, I'd say thoughts of love WERE left behind...next to last line...
but get another opinion or two before you listen to me.

 Comment Written 26-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 26-Jun-2014

Thanks

Comment from MizKat

Excellent

Hi GW,

You have again written an interesting poem, although it is sad too. So many people have died in wars. W. W. One was no exception.

Kat

 Comment Written 26-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 26-Jun-2014

Thanks Kat

Comment from Quire's Gal

Exceptional

This is superb. Very poetic wording, excellent flow and good strong rhymes. I love the opening line...

Our dead will mock the searing heat....very poetically expressed.

This is the best poem I've read of yours. Keep up the good work deepwater.
Drusillla1

 Comment Written 26-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 26-Jun-2014

Thanks again

Comment from GWHARGIS

Exceptional

This had a tragic feeling. Going into battle knowing the chances for survival are not good, yet still proud and not one to shirk their duty. Great rhythm and the flow and emotion were great. This was very moving.

 Comment Written 26-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 26-Jun-2014

Thanks again

Comment from Kingsrookviii

Exceptional

This one stuck a chord with me. These are tremendous words about an evil time of war. I don't think many people realize just how awful things were in WWI. If this is a tribute to your dear old Gram, all the better. Well done.

 Comment Written 26-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 26-Jun-2014

again thanks

Comment from krys123

Excellent

Deepwater, Another powerful poem that has let me to read which is so well written is hard to be believed. This is the second one I've read or view and I agree from this point chew on excellent writer. In this particular poem you have images of artistically descriptive imagery and articulated expressive visions That correlate with the War I. The picture that you have chosen of the church with surrounding graveyards is so appropriate for this poem. It reads so well that it flows smoothly throughout your poem. Thank you for sharing a posting this for everyone and may all your endeavors be good ones.
Alex

 Comment Written 26-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 26-Jun-2014

thanks Alex

reply by krys123 on 26-Jun-2014

You are sincerely welcome

Comment from adewpearl

Excellent

good use of abcb rhyming
good alliteration in blister black
and in strength was sold
Thoughts of love was left - thoughts...were left
powerful expression of emotion in good poetic form
Brooke

 Comment Written 26-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 26-Jun-2014

thank you Brooke am trying to get it right

Gary

Comment from Domino 2

Excellent

Very dramatis moment expressed in vivid iamagery and atmosphere.

'Thoughts of love [were] left behind'

Maybe even more impact would be made if written in present tense.

Cheers, Ray

 Comment Written 26-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 26-Jun-2014

thanks Ray

Comment from Sonaleeka

Excellent

Awesome...loved this lines
With scorn and tears we greet him here

ready to make our stand,

Fix bayonets went the battle cry

As whistles pitched the sky

God bless!

 Comment Written 26-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 26-Jun-2014

thank you