The Temptation
ancient forces at work46 total reviews
Comment from idnami
And is this not the succubus' greatest weapon against man? The dream that he may possess her? She inspires his rage and lust with her demonic wiles, then suddenly... Why she is alone! Vulnerable!
Prey?
He advances, port protruding, certain of his conquest, chuckling to himself at his masculine cleverness and her certain doom. He towers over her trembling form...
And she strikes.
How many indeed?
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2010
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And is this not the succubus' greatest weapon against man? The dream that he may possess her? She inspires his rage and lust with her demonic wiles, then suddenly... Why she is alone! Vulnerable!
Prey?
He advances, port protruding, certain of his conquest, chuckling to himself at his masculine cleverness and her certain doom. He towers over her trembling form...
And she strikes.
How many indeed?
Comment Written 05-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2010
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Whoops. Maybe I'll rethink this for a while.
Comment from Dom G Robles
The tempting Succubus, I think, finally became successful in tempting victor against his seemingly unyielding behavior. The poem is beautifully expressed as far as the temptation of Sucubus went. The imagery--the dialog--the word of temptation is exceedingly great. I like the part where the author says, "Where is your laughter now, evil one? Ha, ha, ha, ha..."
reply by the author on 06-May-2011
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The tempting Succubus, I think, finally became successful in tempting victor against his seemingly unyielding behavior. The poem is beautifully expressed as far as the temptation of Sucubus went. The imagery--the dialog--the word of temptation is exceedingly great. I like the part where the author says, "Where is your laughter now, evil one? Ha, ha, ha, ha..."
Comment Written 05-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 06-May-2011
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Thank you Dom.
Comment from afternoonlight
Interesting topic and subject the succubus you speak with from your poetry, is the speaker victim or master it seems that role is changable depending on power and position. Not my cup of tea, but you have written it well crafted.
reply by the author on 06-May-2011
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Interesting topic and subject the succubus you speak with from your poetry, is the speaker victim or master it seems that role is changable depending on power and position. Not my cup of tea, but you have written it well crafted.
Comment Written 05-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 06-May-2011
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Thank you Ms. Afternoon.
Comment from seewhatimwritingnow
Ah Victor...You are a goner- You are the lost slave of succubus! You will cage her?, as you yourself are caged in your addiction of her- ha ha ha ha- Who wins? Who loses? What a fantastic fantasy!Bravo,my friend, bravo!! Betty
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2010
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Ah Victor...You are a goner- You are the lost slave of succubus! You will cage her?, as you yourself are caged in your addiction of her- ha ha ha ha- Who wins? Who loses? What a fantastic fantasy!Bravo,my friend, bravo!! Betty
Comment Written 05-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2010
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Fantasy? Do you know to whom you speak?
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Your reputation proceeds you, my friend! lol Betty
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Count Viktor von Doom pardons you.
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SUCCABUS SEZ "THANKS". :)
Comment from animatqua
Whoa. There goes my "Exorcist" head spin again. You do have a tendency to yank my thoughts from one wild ride to another.
I saw so many levels of meaning here that it's going to take me some time to sort through them all. I looked at the succubus at first as an allegory for the ego. That fit for a while, then kind of fell apart here:
"When I find my long lost
occult palace, and my dominance
and powers once again fully
restored,"
Now I'm thinking a mage and magic type thing; Merlin and Nimue, or maybe Morgain and Arthur, or----
There goes the head spin again.
I gotta quit reading over your stuff more than once!
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2010
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Whoa. There goes my "Exorcist" head spin again. You do have a tendency to yank my thoughts from one wild ride to another.
I saw so many levels of meaning here that it's going to take me some time to sort through them all. I looked at the succubus at first as an allegory for the ego. That fit for a while, then kind of fell apart here:
"When I find my long lost
occult palace, and my dominance
and powers once again fully
restored,"
Now I'm thinking a mage and magic type thing; Merlin and Nimue, or maybe Morgain and Arthur, or----
There goes the head spin again.
I gotta quit reading over your stuff more than once!
Comment Written 05-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2010
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Ha, ha, ha, ha. Thank you.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I wasn't exactly sure why this had a mature rating on it, but as I read I figured it out. It wasn't at all what I expected. I will review on your writing only. I found no mechanical errors and your descriptions were very vivid.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2010
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I wasn't exactly sure why this had a mature rating on it, but as I read I figured it out. It wasn't at all what I expected. I will review on your writing only. I found no mechanical errors and your descriptions were very vivid.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 05-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2010
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Thank you, I think? I take it this is NOT to your taste.
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No, but it's not your fault, so I won't mark you down for it.