Lonely Hearts Meet
Viewing comments for Chapter 11 "Part two Chapter four"Anna and her son escape from a man-made Hell.
90 total reviews
Comment from N.K. Wagner
This answered some of my questions, and the next chapter looks like it's going to answer the rest, Barbara. I take it Anna's son is going underground. Well done. :) Nancy
reply by the author on 16-May-2011
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This answered some of my questions, and the next chapter looks like it's going to answer the rest, Barbara. I take it Anna's son is going underground. Well done. :) Nancy
Comment Written 16-May-2011
reply by the author on 16-May-2011
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from missy98writer
Barbara,
how horrible Bobby acted. I loved your awesome description of him: "Bobby barged in to the room. His dark demon eyes glared at Anna." I love the message you give the reader at the end. Good for the nurse standing up to him. Thank god for the woman coming up named Ellen Collier. I'm giving you six stars if Evil Eddie allows me to. Your are doing an outstanding job. I'm praying for your cancer to leave.
Melissa.
reply by the author on 16-May-2011
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Barbara,
how horrible Bobby acted. I loved your awesome description of him: "Bobby barged in to the room. His dark demon eyes glared at Anna." I love the message you give the reader at the end. Good for the nurse standing up to him. Thank god for the woman coming up named Ellen Collier. I'm giving you six stars if Evil Eddie allows me to. Your are doing an outstanding job. I'm praying for your cancer to leave.
Melissa.
Comment Written 16-May-2011
reply by the author on 16-May-2011
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Thank you for your kind review and continued friendship.
Comment from Helen Tan
I didn't note any SPAG. Stay well. =D
"Freaking bureaucracy won't even let a decent man get his son. That bitch caused this."
This line shows Frankie's character well. He has no respect for the system or Anna. It's unlikely he will abide by the law. He must get things done his way so the law will not protect Anna.
We need to talk. I think I can assist you with your problem."
I'm glad Anna has this help but based on Frankie's character and behaviour, I'm sure this line of defense will not keep him away.
reply by the author on 16-May-2011
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I didn't note any SPAG. Stay well. =D
"Freaking bureaucracy won't even let a decent man get his son. That bitch caused this."
This line shows Frankie's character well. He has no respect for the system or Anna. It's unlikely he will abide by the law. He must get things done his way so the law will not protect Anna.
We need to talk. I think I can assist you with your problem."
I'm glad Anna has this help but based on Frankie's character and behaviour, I'm sure this line of defense will not keep him away.
Comment Written 16-May-2011
reply by the author on 16-May-2011
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I am shocked I'm SPAG free. I think this is a first. Thank youf or your kind review.
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You made no mistake - I kept thinking Frankie instead of Bobby in my review. I think Bobby reminds me of this Frankie guy I knew! My apologies. =D
Comment from Connie P
I was terrified Bobby was going to get the baby out of the hospital, he just can't (can he???). I'd personally like to kill him.
One thing I noticed: "...I have a right to speak with her." (Bobby doesn't speak this properly, 'I have a right to talk to her' or even 'I got my rights' might work better.)
He'll kill Anna if he gets his hands on her and of course the baby isn't safe with him.
Connie
reply by the author on 16-May-2011
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I was terrified Bobby was going to get the baby out of the hospital, he just can't (can he???). I'd personally like to kill him.
One thing I noticed: "...I have a right to speak with her." (Bobby doesn't speak this properly, 'I have a right to talk to her' or even 'I got my rights' might work better.)
He'll kill Anna if he gets his hands on her and of course the baby isn't safe with him.
Connie
Comment Written 16-May-2011
reply by the author on 16-May-2011
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You are right about Bobby's speach. I will take care of that.
Comment from RebelRose
At first, I was a little miffed with the nurse for telling Bobby that the baby would be released in a few hours but then I saw why she did it and had to commend her for her quick thinking. Bobby is such an SOB. Great chapter even though short.
reply by the author on 16-May-2011
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At first, I was a little miffed with the nurse for telling Bobby that the baby would be released in a few hours but then I saw why she did it and had to commend her for her quick thinking. Bobby is such an SOB. Great chapter even though short.
Comment Written 16-May-2011
reply by the author on 16-May-2011
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Patrick Jordan
Your story of Anna and Bobby is imaginatively portrayed. I love this kind of write as it inspires people to change. Wonderful!
reply by the author on 16-May-2011
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Your story of Anna and Bobby is imaginatively portrayed. I love this kind of write as it inspires people to change. Wonderful!
Comment Written 16-May-2011
reply by the author on 16-May-2011
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from markk
well done and another intense post for this story. I am very much looking forward to the next installment. Goodness I hope this turns out well. He's obviously very violent but I do wonder if he'd be quite so obvious about it in such a situation, particularly when he'd just been arrested for abuse (though I know that rage can have that affect on people).
reply by the author on 16-May-2011
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well done and another intense post for this story. I am very much looking forward to the next installment. Goodness I hope this turns out well. He's obviously very violent but I do wonder if he'd be quite so obvious about it in such a situation, particularly when he'd just been arrested for abuse (though I know that rage can have that affect on people).
Comment Written 16-May-2011
reply by the author on 16-May-2011
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Thank you for your kind review and support.
Comment from bookishfabler
Long, short, it doesn't matter to me. Here on FanStory we read all kinds of stuf we like, and even things we wouldn't normally read, like romances and westerns. LOL. It is still interesting, and makes the reader worry about the characters.
hugs book
reply by the author on 16-May-2011
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Long, short, it doesn't matter to me. Here on FanStory we read all kinds of stuf we like, and even things we wouldn't normally read, like romances and westerns. LOL. It is still interesting, and makes the reader worry about the characters.
hugs book
Comment Written 16-May-2011
reply by the author on 16-May-2011
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Thank you for your kind review and continued support. I know romance isn't your thing.
Comment from Writeaway...
Bravo on this chapter add Barbara, it was intriguing, well-written and cleverly constructed. I cannot suggest anything for improvment, an excellent job, keep writing!! :)
reply by the author on 16-May-2011
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Bravo on this chapter add Barbara, it was intriguing, well-written and cleverly constructed. I cannot suggest anything for improvment, an excellent job, keep writing!! :)
Comment Written 16-May-2011
reply by the author on 16-May-2011
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from jamma
This is really good. It grabbed my attention and kept it. I can't wait to see what happens next. I'm secretly hoping you kill Bobby off...slowly and painfully. Or maybe turn the tables on him and have him treated the way he treats people. Give him some of his own medicine. Whatever you decide, I'll be following along. Nice read. Keep going.
reply by the author on 16-May-2011
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This is really good. It grabbed my attention and kept it. I can't wait to see what happens next. I'm secretly hoping you kill Bobby off...slowly and painfully. Or maybe turn the tables on him and have him treated the way he treats people. Give him some of his own medicine. Whatever you decide, I'll be following along. Nice read. Keep going.
Comment Written 16-May-2011
reply by the author on 16-May-2011
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I know what's going to happen to Bobby, but I'm not telling. Thank you for your kind review.