Lonely Hearts Meet
Viewing comments for Chapter 65 "part one, Chapter 20"Anna and her son escape from a man-made Hell.
71 total reviews
Comment from Titanx9
Excellent descriptions, great dialogue, and good character interactions, however this one line puzzles me as there was no previous mention of coffee. "I don't think you should encourage that boy to drink coffee." Everett grinned. Otherwise, nicely done!
reply by the author on 07-May-2012
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Excellent descriptions, great dialogue, and good character interactions, however this one line puzzles me as there was no previous mention of coffee. "I don't think you should encourage that boy to drink coffee." Everett grinned. Otherwise, nicely done!
Comment Written 06-May-2012
reply by the author on 07-May-2012
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Thank you for the kind review. I will check that line.
Comment from purrfect tale
Hospitals, what a bad place to have to sit and wait in. I think you're right to rethink the classification. This is more women's fiction than romance.
Notes:
"It seems not only were those three into stealing cars. - sentence fragment. Just rearrange the words to make it a sentence. "It seems these three weren't just interested in stealing cars."
Under the circumstances(,) she's doing fine.
reply by the author on 07-May-2012
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Hospitals, what a bad place to have to sit and wait in. I think you're right to rethink the classification. This is more women's fiction than romance.
Notes:
"It seems not only were those three into stealing cars. - sentence fragment. Just rearrange the words to make it a sentence. "It seems these three weren't just interested in stealing cars."
Under the circumstances(,) she's doing fine.
Comment Written 06-May-2012
reply by the author on 07-May-2012
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Thank you for the kind review and I will fix those sentences.
Comment from forestport12
I haven't been through all the chapters, but I like how this part is turning out and how the story is developing where this poor girl will hopefully recover and find love with a good man. Stan
reply by the author on 07-May-2012
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I haven't been through all the chapters, but I like how this part is turning out and how the story is developing where this poor girl will hopefully recover and find love with a good man. Stan
Comment Written 06-May-2012
reply by the author on 07-May-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from fictionwriter
Well done. I think it's great you're taking on the abuse theme here, and everything you write might help someone, somewhere get out. Make sure to make the things you use similar to true life, that's what they say, and you've done it. Well done.
reply by the author on 07-May-2012
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Well done. I think it's great you're taking on the abuse theme here, and everything you write might help someone, somewhere get out. Make sure to make the things you use similar to true life, that's what they say, and you've done it. Well done.
Comment Written 06-May-2012
reply by the author on 07-May-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Rdfrdmom2
barbara:
I'm sure all of your readers are relieved that Anna
was not the person who coded. I believe Michael and
Troy's love can give her the will to fight her way
back from the edge of darkness to having a happy
family, once and for all.
thanks for sharing
love,
jan
reply by the author on 07-May-2012
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barbara:
I'm sure all of your readers are relieved that Anna
was not the person who coded. I believe Michael and
Troy's love can give her the will to fight her way
back from the edge of darkness to having a happy
family, once and for all.
thanks for sharing
love,
jan
Comment Written 06-May-2012
reply by the author on 07-May-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from robyn corum
I didn't see anything wrong with this chapter and it read quite well on its own. I thought it was fine. I'm so sad that the brute got to Anna!
reply by the author on 06-May-2012
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I didn't see anything wrong with this chapter and it read quite well on its own. I thought it was fine. I'm so sad that the brute got to Anna!
Comment Written 06-May-2012
reply by the author on 06-May-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from mumsyone
Another good chapter, Barbara, and tell your husband the photo is beautiful.
"And (An?) illegal still.
"Is there (anything thing) these guys weren't into?" Paul shook his head.
reply by the author on 06-May-2012
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Another good chapter, Barbara, and tell your husband the photo is beautiful.
"And (An?) illegal still.
"Is there (anything thing) these guys weren't into?" Paul shook his head.
Comment Written 06-May-2012
reply by the author on 06-May-2012
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I started with the an, then was told to take it out, then was told to put in, I just don't know any more. Thank you for the kind review.
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It looks better now.
Comment from Dave M
Barbara,
This is an excellent chapter. Anna is still out of it, but the code blue did not involve her. I enjoyed this chapter and found several nits that your literary-inclined kittens might have caused:
"Back behind their building was a about a half an acre of marijuana plants..." The two "a" words should come out, so the sentence reads, "Back behind their building was about half an acre of marijuana plants..."
"And [an] illegal still."
Dave
reply by the author on 06-May-2012
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Barbara,
This is an excellent chapter. Anna is still out of it, but the code blue did not involve her. I enjoyed this chapter and found several nits that your literary-inclined kittens might have caused:
"Back behind their building was a about a half an acre of marijuana plants..." The two "a" words should come out, so the sentence reads, "Back behind their building was about half an acre of marijuana plants..."
"And [an] illegal still."
Dave
Comment Written 06-May-2012
reply by the author on 06-May-2012
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I had the word an in that sentence and was told to take it out. I will put it back. Thank you for the kind review.
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Barbara,
Guess you can't please everybody, so just please yourself.
Dave
Comment from rheabug
This is another great chapter in your book. Hope Anna comes out of the coma soon and she is fine. Your writing is wonderful in this venue. Blessings, Linda
reply by the author on 06-May-2012
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This is another great chapter in your book. Hope Anna comes out of the coma soon and she is fine. Your writing is wonderful in this venue. Blessings, Linda
Comment Written 06-May-2012
reply by the author on 06-May-2012
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Thank you for the kind review and encouraging words.
Comment from CALLAHANMR
Hi Barbara:)
I'm glad happy to see tat you have finally ended a chapter in a positive manner. certainly Anna has a long recovery ahead of her, but the odds of coming out of an induced medical coma is quite high for a healthy young person.
One thing is now certain, Anna will never again need to fear Bobby or his criminal associates and when she wakes up she will remember what Troy said to her while she was still in a comma.
Very short, but well-written chapter,
Love and Irish Hugs, my friend.
Roger
reply by the author on 06-May-2012
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Hi Barbara:)
I'm glad happy to see tat you have finally ended a chapter in a positive manner. certainly Anna has a long recovery ahead of her, but the odds of coming out of an induced medical coma is quite high for a healthy young person.
One thing is now certain, Anna will never again need to fear Bobby or his criminal associates and when she wakes up she will remember what Troy said to her while she was still in a comma.
Very short, but well-written chapter,
Love and Irish Hugs, my friend.
Roger
Comment Written 06-May-2012
reply by the author on 06-May-2012
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Thank you for your kind review and continued support.