Along the Jericho Road
Viewing comments for Chapter 43 "Iktomi Moon"Murder Mystery
47 total reviews
Comment from Green Lake Girl
This is an excellent chapter. Well written in an economy of words. The quote from scripture is eerie, dramatic, and thought provoking. It's a brilliant way to pave the way for this chapter. You do a superior job of depicting just how loathsome Eddie is. I look forward to his (hopefully) ultimate demise.
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2013
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This is an excellent chapter. Well written in an economy of words. The quote from scripture is eerie, dramatic, and thought provoking. It's a brilliant way to pave the way for this chapter. You do a superior job of depicting just how loathsome Eddie is. I look forward to his (hopefully) ultimate demise.
Comment Written 05-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2013
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Oh, thanks so much, GLG. What a lovely and deeply encouraging review. I appreciate a fellow writer's perspective, especially one whose writing I admire. XX Bev
Comment from Zue65
Yes, it is really extremely disturbing, and I hate to say I am really tired of all the blood and gory killing in the thriller or crime fiction I have reviewed. The challenge actually is to put forward crime and scare readers even without going into the sick details. Sorry for blurting out, but I am not imposing my opinion on you or on other authors. I am just speaking my mind out loud. But I still rate this five stars. God bless.
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2013
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Yes, it is really extremely disturbing, and I hate to say I am really tired of all the blood and gory killing in the thriller or crime fiction I have reviewed. The challenge actually is to put forward crime and scare readers even without going into the sick details. Sorry for blurting out, but I am not imposing my opinion on you or on other authors. I am just speaking my mind out loud. But I still rate this five stars. God bless.
Comment Written 05-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2013
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It was not an easy chapter to write. And it is certainly not the main thrust of my novel, either, should you choose to read the previous 40+ chapters. Thank you for sharing your insights and for your geenrous review, nassus.
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
Gosh, Bev, I couldn't move the picture up off the screen quick enough - ugh!! Makes me shiver. This is what I call real horror - (not silly vampire men with pointed teeth) - but real, spine-chilling horror. It was all so vivid, my talented friend.
gave him two, maybe three[,] hours of sleep- lose comma
leaving him completely - shouldn't this be -- leaving himself
Eddie stroked it's shiny - its
Margaret
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2013
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Gosh, Bev, I couldn't move the picture up off the screen quick enough - ugh!! Makes me shiver. This is what I call real horror - (not silly vampire men with pointed teeth) - but real, spine-chilling horror. It was all so vivid, my talented friend.
gave him two, maybe three[,] hours of sleep- lose comma
leaving him completely - shouldn't this be -- leaving himself
Eddie stroked it's shiny - its
Margaret
Comment Written 05-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2013
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Margaret, thank you so much for this affirming review. I am honored by your description of this as 'real horror' as that was what I was striving for. Much appreciated, my friend. Thanks for the suggested changes as well. Warmest regards, Bev
Comment from jadapenn
For some minutes there, I was definitely in the twilight zone. Now I'm all scared of spiders again. This was well written and fully of gory tension, Bev. So the idiot has killed his mother and stashed her in the freezer in the garage. Geez, I'm glad I don't have to research these satanic things. Creepy - but well written. I enjoyed. luv jada
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2013
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For some minutes there, I was definitely in the twilight zone. Now I'm all scared of spiders again. This was well written and fully of gory tension, Bev. So the idiot has killed his mother and stashed her in the freezer in the garage. Geez, I'm glad I don't have to research these satanic things. Creepy - but well written. I enjoyed. luv jada
Comment Written 05-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2013
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Thanks so much, Jada. I so appreciate that you read the story through even though it was creepy. Hopefully, it's fully established that Eddie is genuinely a lost soul and I can move on to safer subjects. Hugs, Bev
Comment from lakeport
Iktomi moon, indeed there is a lot of horror and drama going on. Thanks for sharing the story. God bless you. Lakeport....
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2013
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Iktomi moon, indeed there is a lot of horror and drama going on. Thanks for sharing the story. God bless you. Lakeport....
Comment Written 05-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2013
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Thanks for stopping by, lakeport. I appreciate the support.
Warm regards, Bev
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your welcome.Lakeport.
Comment from irishauthorme
Wow, the intense action here is almost overbearing! The transition between Eddie's fantasy and reality was smooth. The momentary flashback to Fritz Buell was well done, and I liked the way you placed the motivation there. Giant spiders are especially terrifying to all of us, being bitten by even a small spider is traumatic.
Great construction and a fast read!
irish
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reply by the author on 05-Aug-2013
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Wow, the intense action here is almost overbearing! The transition between Eddie's fantasy and reality was smooth. The momentary flashback to Fritz Buell was well done, and I liked the way you placed the motivation there. Giant spiders are especially terrifying to all of us, being bitten by even a small spider is traumatic.
Great construction and a fast read!
irish
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 05-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2013
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Thanks, irish, so much for your great review. I really appreciate the encouragement and support. Warm regards, Bev
Comment from in777wr#
This is a gruesome tale. The "Man-sized spider" is an interesting touch in this story. I didn't think that Eddie was going to escape this incident. Very interesting.
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reply by the author on 05-Aug-2013
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This is a gruesome tale. The "Man-sized spider" is an interesting touch in this story. I didn't think that Eddie was going to escape this incident. Very interesting.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 05-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2013
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It was a difficult chapter to write, but I felt it was needed. Most of my chapters tend to character-driven. Thanks so much for the read and great review. Warm regards, Bev