Comment from Green Lake Girl

Exceptional

Ooh, Bev--such a cliff hanger! I suspect the shadowy figure is Father Brian, coming to exorcise the demon. Rick is obviously in deep, deep trouble, both spiritually and legally. This story is going to end with crashing cymbals and hell-fire. You do such a wonderful job with suspense. You sure know how to write a convincing thriller. Excellent job!

 Comment Written 20-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 20-Jul-2014

Hi, Marietta. Thank you so much for taking time out of your busy social life to review, my friend. I'm to glad you enjoyed the chapter's suspense. I was afraid it might be a little flat LoL. Your review really means a lot as does your generosity and support. :) Bev

Comment from royowen

Excellent

I liked the way you set this chapter up with the beginning of this episode's, establishing the storyline, then moving on to the adversary in flight from accountability, their is a beautiful tension in this well written narrative and is maintained throughout, I love the touch of the sinister dark figure at the end of the chapter, creating a platform for the next! Well done, blessings, Roy.

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 Comment Written 20-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 20-Jul-2014

Hi, Roy! Thank you so much for taking time to read my chapter. I much appreciate your gracious and encouraging review. Warm regards, Bev

Comment from judiverse

Exceptional

This is packed with a lot of excitement. It's really deserving six stars. I was glad to see Sheriff Oleson and Stredwick back in the mix. Oleson is worried about Jana, and Skeets questions where Jan's priorities would lie, as her family is involved. Jana feels sad learning that Rick is the mole. He's really a threat as he has Danika and has found explosives. One can imagine what he might do with that in his hands. Sounds like he has a score to settle with Danika. Also, he seems under the spell of the devil. Father Brian has said he has a soul to save. Maybe it's Rick. Father is being very brave in all this. judi

 Comment Written 20-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 20-Jul-2014

Hi, Judi. I am thrilled that you found the chapter exciting. Your encouragement, support and generosity mean so much! Thank you, my friend.

Hugs, Bev

reply by judiverse on 21-Jul-2014

You're welcome. I really enjoy all the tension. Readers can almost visualize the action, and your characters are all so interesting. judi

reply by the author on 21-Jul-2014

My one weakness, which I will have to correct in the editing process, is that I have too many minor characters. With FanStory, I can 'get away' with that. But not with a story I want to get published. The problem is, I like all my characters, even the bad guys LoL. Thanks again, Judi. You're the best!

Bev

reply by judiverse on 21-Jul-2014

I see your dilemma. Minor characters are interesting. Your main focus seems to be with Jana, especially as she bridges the world between the Native Americans and law enforcement. She has a connection with all the other characters, too. judi

reply by the author on 21-Jul-2014

Thanks for sharing that perspective because that's exactly what I hoped for the character. I love the character, so I'm a little biased. :) Bev

reply by judiverse on 21-Jul-2014

You're welcome. I'm always eager to read more about her. judi

reply by the author on 21-Jul-2014

:)

Comment from Raphael Montonaro

Excellent

Very good narrative which pushed the great dialogue along. Very well written. Good form and content. Great job!
Keep this going!

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 Comment Written 20-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 20-Jul-2014

Thank you so much, Raphael. I see that you also have a post which I intend to read this evening.

I really appreciate the encouragement!

Warm regards, Bev

reply by Raphael Montonaro on 20-Jul-2014

But don't be kind if you think it stinks...I can take it...it only makes me better-R

reply by the author on 20-Jul-2014

I try to be positive whenever I review, Raphael. After all, who am I to say something 'stinks'?

:)

Comment from c_lucas

Exceptional

This is coming up to the final showdown. It is worthy of an early sixer. Your post is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a good read.

 Comment Written 20-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 20-Jul-2014

Thank you so much, Charlie. I know this has dragged on a bit, but I want to end it with respect for the story. So, your review really means a lot to me. :) Bev

reply by c_lucas on 20-Jul-2014

You're doing a good job with your story, Bev. Charlie

reply by the author on 20-Jul-2014

Thank you, Charlie. That's very kind of you.

:) Bev