Reviews from

Writings From the Heart

Viewing comments for Chapter 30 "O mother dear"
A book of Poetry & Writing

101 total reviews 
Comment from kukarad70
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Dear Deepwater,
Very very nice poem. I have liked your poem from my inner heart and your and my choice to write against war is same I guessed. War is in fact only to create horror in human life destroy the dream of innocent people. War goes on because of interest only few powerful people and suffer many many people in its effect. So nice and beautiful poem with selective wordings. Thanks and regards.
Kamal

 Comment Written 13-Aug-2014


reply by the author on 13-Aug-2014
    Thank you for this review Kamal

    Gary
Comment from MizKat
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hi GW,

This poem is very nice, touching but sad. Still I enjoyed reading it very much. You are a great poet and it's always nice to read your work.

Kat

 Comment Written 13-Aug-2014


reply by the author on 13-Aug-2014
    again thank you for this
Comment from sweetwoodjax
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

this is beautiful, deepwater, and so poignant, about the life lost on the battlefield and the cries for the lost sons and daughters as mothers cry their tears.

 Comment Written 13-Aug-2014


reply by the author on 13-Aug-2014
    again thank you
Comment from nomi338
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

War is the hell that consigns to hell all of those who are engaged in this epic struggle. The God who created us all says that the two greatest commandments that should govern us all is that we first love Him with all our hearts, minds, souls and strength, and second that we love each other love our very own selves. Obeying these two rules would send to hell the thing that we call war for ever Amen.

 Comment Written 13-Aug-2014


reply by the author on 13-Aug-2014
    thanks for the review nomi
Comment from marym224
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

An emotive poem inspired by this year's Centenary remembrances. Well phrased, deepwater, and well worth the Recognition badge. My partner lost three uncles during WWI so he wears their medals with pride. This kind of poem has such great meaning for him Thank you for writing it.

 Comment Written 13-Aug-2014


reply by the author on 13-Aug-2014
    thank you for this
Comment from krys123
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Deepwater;
I found that the metering tempo were done very well in your rhythm And it seemed to flow smoothly throughout your writing while you're rhyming was neither force nor labored and also helped with the rhythmic flow.
Your imagination which very much inventive and truly creative throughout in here and the tree was superbly descriptive and an eye-opening expressive view: "The fields are red from blood we bleed that seeps into the ground."
And this is just one of many of your descriptive pieces of writing in your poem.
I really did enjoy this frightfully true piece of poetry in a grass man a very awakening and enlightening way.
Thank you so much for sharing and posting this for everyone to read and may the good Lord be with you always my friend.
Alex

 Comment Written 13-Aug-2014


reply by the author on 13-Aug-2014
    thank you Krys
reply by krys123 on 14-Aug-2014
    You are so sincerely welcome my friend.
Comment from gazzagodbod
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

great poem my friend and we must never forget the sacrafices of our heroes so well written well done my friend I loved it xxgazzagodbodxx

 Comment Written 13-Aug-2014


reply by the author on 13-Aug-2014
    thank you
Comment from Chrisluca
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I think of Ireland when I read this poem. I can"t tell you why but I do. Nicely done, Your words flow nicely and the format is balanced. A painful poem but a good one, Thank you for sharing your work.

 Comment Written 13-Aug-2014


reply by the author on 13-Aug-2014
    thank you for reading
Comment from HAREEDS
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

A well composed poem about the horrors of World War I. At this time of the 100th anniversary a very topical subject. The emphasis on the poppy fields is very poignant as its the symbol most people relate to this conflict. Death at the end of the poem brings home the sadness of war.

 Comment Written 13-Aug-2014


reply by the author on 13-Aug-2014
    thank you for this
Comment from acerisestory
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is probably, in my estimation, Gary, the best of all the poems you've written. I would give you a six but feel you need to make some spag corrections, plus removal of some commas will increase the flow. Also, it's not absolutely necessary, but rhyming the first two lines would be a great enhancement. I've noticed other reviewers have mentioned those issues already.

If you place your writing at the top of the list, we can all only assume that you are not only asking for review stars but also the input(not necessarily all positive)of other poets. Personally, I am greatly appreciative when reviewers suggest changes that will make my work even better. Many of them are very highly regarded poets on Fanstory.

It's a wonderful poem, Gary, and I look forward to reading more of your poetry. Take care. Alana

 Comment Written 13-Aug-2014


reply by the author on 13-Aug-2014
    Thanks Alana, I put it there to get the comments from others like yourself,
    and do make change after, but some like to rewrite for me not in your case, I write free verse with some rhyming

    thanks Gary
reply by acerisestory on 13-Aug-2014
    You are welcome, Gary. As I said before, I look forward to reading more of your poetry. Take care. Alana