Writings From the Heart
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "I leave this Note "A book of Poetry & Writing
104 total reviews
Comment from Jackarrie
A very well written poem about the bloody war of 1914, you have penned it so well, the emotions of the young soldiers they were only kids.
One would think we should have learned from it, instead there is more and more wars.
Shells exploded in glares of gray, as shrapnel killed the brave all day,
A letter did state both died this way, upon the fields so wet and gray
I wrote this triolet.
War is an unnecessary terrible calamity
Some consider it grand and heroic
It brings death disease and poverty
War is an unnecessary terrible calamity
It appears to me that about 90% of the human race do not want wars, and yet the smaller percent of those who do, have not learned, and probably do not care.
Mary
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2014
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A very well written poem about the bloody war of 1914, you have penned it so well, the emotions of the young soldiers they were only kids.
One would think we should have learned from it, instead there is more and more wars.
Shells exploded in glares of gray, as shrapnel killed the brave all day,
A letter did state both died this way, upon the fields so wet and gray
I wrote this triolet.
War is an unnecessary terrible calamity
Some consider it grand and heroic
It brings death disease and poverty
War is an unnecessary terrible calamity
It appears to me that about 90% of the human race do not want wars, and yet the smaller percent of those who do, have not learned, and probably do not care.
Mary
Comment Written 20-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2014
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Thank you Mary
Comment from Artist Dilemma
A very sad poem, beautiful words to describe the atrocities they has been faced by these unfortunates. In three stanza you have manage the capture the suffering and anxieties of which I will never know. An excellent write.
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2014
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A very sad poem, beautiful words to describe the atrocities they has been faced by these unfortunates. In three stanza you have manage the capture the suffering and anxieties of which I will never know. An excellent write.
Comment Written 20-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2014
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Thank you
Comment from HAREEDS
A well constructed poem showing that in war both sides are basically the same. Young men sent to fight and die in meaningless conflicts. The poem conveys the sense of hopelessness in the situation very well. The picture is a perfect background to the misery. Excellent work.
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2014
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A well constructed poem showing that in war both sides are basically the same. Young men sent to fight and die in meaningless conflicts. The poem conveys the sense of hopelessness in the situation very well. The picture is a perfect background to the misery. Excellent work.
Comment Written 20-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2014
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Thank you
Comment from Ekim777
A touching poem in all its simplicity expressing some profundity. It reminds me of a old War Poem by Wilfred Owen who died in the trenches. "I am the enemy, you killed my friend...." Your heart felt poem also reminds me of note found on the body of a dead soldier.
"Look God, I never thought about you,/ But now I'd like to say; how do you do./ They tried to tell me you did not exist./And like a fool, I believed all this.../" Nice work.
-Ekim777
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2014
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A touching poem in all its simplicity expressing some profundity. It reminds me of a old War Poem by Wilfred Owen who died in the trenches. "I am the enemy, you killed my friend...." Your heart felt poem also reminds me of note found on the body of a dead soldier.
"Look God, I never thought about you,/ But now I'd like to say; how do you do./ They tried to tell me you did not exist./And like a fool, I believed all this.../" Nice work.
-Ekim777
Comment Written 20-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2014
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Thank you for this Ekim
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written, deepwater, you did an excellent job writing this poem about the soldiers that dieed in the midst of war. I enjoyed reading this one.....
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2014
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this is very well written, deepwater, you did an excellent job writing this poem about the soldiers that dieed in the midst of war. I enjoyed reading this one.....
Comment Written 20-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2014
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Thanks Jax
Comment from pipersfancy
This is very well penned, giving voice to two young men on opposite sides of the war to end all wars. It may have been clear to those at the top, giving the orders, but to those fighting in the trenches, the reasons for them being there must have seemed muddier and muddier to understand as the war dragged on... young men, boys, many of them, who should have been playing football or cricket against one another... not pointing rifles.
This work reminds me of the art exhibit my son and I saw in the Canadian War Museum in our capital city of Ottawa earlier this summer. The show was entitled, "Transformations - the war art of A.Y Jackson and Otto Dix". Jackson was one the Canadian artists who made up "The Group of Seven", and Dix was a fine young German artist. They both served in the trenches, taking their paint boxes and sketch pads with them. On several occasions, it turns out each man had been in the exact same trench as the other, albeit at different times. The exhibit was set up to see Jackson's works on one side, and Dix's works on the opposite wall. While much of their works told similar stories, the devastation and destruction they both witnessed, the fascinating part was to compare their works along the entire timeline through which they served. While Jackson's works ultimately reveal his hope in humanity's ability to recover and rebuild a better society, Dix's works take a far darker turn. Jackson died, an old man having lived a full life, here in Canada where he is respected and remembered as one of Canada's finest contributors to the international art world. Dix died sickly and alone, in his early 50's I think I recall, having been thrown into disgrace following the war and charged with undermining the German war effort through his grim paintings. I'm sure it was a reflection not only of the war itself, but also the aftermath and impact on these two men, and the countries they each returned home to. Overall, it was a wonderful presentation, and sadly eye-opning as well.
(Sorry for the essay!)
Lovely work,
PF
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2014
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This is very well penned, giving voice to two young men on opposite sides of the war to end all wars. It may have been clear to those at the top, giving the orders, but to those fighting in the trenches, the reasons for them being there must have seemed muddier and muddier to understand as the war dragged on... young men, boys, many of them, who should have been playing football or cricket against one another... not pointing rifles.
This work reminds me of the art exhibit my son and I saw in the Canadian War Museum in our capital city of Ottawa earlier this summer. The show was entitled, "Transformations - the war art of A.Y Jackson and Otto Dix". Jackson was one the Canadian artists who made up "The Group of Seven", and Dix was a fine young German artist. They both served in the trenches, taking their paint boxes and sketch pads with them. On several occasions, it turns out each man had been in the exact same trench as the other, albeit at different times. The exhibit was set up to see Jackson's works on one side, and Dix's works on the opposite wall. While much of their works told similar stories, the devastation and destruction they both witnessed, the fascinating part was to compare their works along the entire timeline through which they served. While Jackson's works ultimately reveal his hope in humanity's ability to recover and rebuild a better society, Dix's works take a far darker turn. Jackson died, an old man having lived a full life, here in Canada where he is respected and remembered as one of Canada's finest contributors to the international art world. Dix died sickly and alone, in his early 50's I think I recall, having been thrown into disgrace following the war and charged with undermining the German war effort through his grim paintings. I'm sure it was a reflection not only of the war itself, but also the aftermath and impact on these two men, and the countries they each returned home to. Overall, it was a wonderful presentation, and sadly eye-opning as well.
(Sorry for the essay!)
Lovely work,
PF
Comment Written 20-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2014
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Thank you for this PF
Gary
Comment from LIJ Red
It is, as they say, what it is. What intangible is worth misery and death to preserve? This work is a lucid indictment of armies and war. Well said.
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2014
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It is, as they say, what it is. What intangible is worth misery and death to preserve? This work is a lucid indictment of armies and war. Well said.
Comment Written 20-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2014
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Thank you for this
Comment from Dawn Munro
Oh such a grim but beautifully sorrowful reminder of the horror of war = young sons left to die in foreign lands, families left to mourn their loss...
Poignant and so descriptive, evoking such sad imagery - well done, author.
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2014
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Oh such a grim but beautifully sorrowful reminder of the horror of war = young sons left to die in foreign lands, families left to mourn their loss...
Poignant and so descriptive, evoking such sad imagery - well done, author.
Comment Written 19-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2014
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thank you dawn
Comment from Christine B.
From the heart, there are two sides presented. The way you have evaluated the comparison is interesting. Each soldier stood apart and yet stood with common thought and fate, and perhaps at times it does happen that way.
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2014
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From the heart, there are two sides presented. The way you have evaluated the comparison is interesting. Each soldier stood apart and yet stood with common thought and fate, and perhaps at times it does happen that way.
Comment Written 19-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2014
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thank you for this
Comment from Drew Delaney
The first part especially flows so nicely. Parts seemed a bit forced to me. But all in all, it is a wonderful poem of war, young soldiers, and death all around. Good wishes with you.
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2014
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The first part especially flows so nicely. Parts seemed a bit forced to me. But all in all, it is a wonderful poem of war, young soldiers, and death all around. Good wishes with you.
Comment Written 19-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2014
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thanks