Life, Love, and Other Disasters
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "Spring Refrain"A collection of poems on these themes
52 total reviews
Comment from Dawny53
Hello anonymous writer.. there is no doubt in my mind that I have read your work before and admired your talent.. for this is clearly written by someone with a lot of it! It's an excellent entry, you have this rondeau redouble down to a science! It was so fun to read, and it is also something so many of your readers can relate to, me included! You were wise to write about something that your reader relates with, especially for a contest entry.
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2014
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Hello anonymous writer.. there is no doubt in my mind that I have read your work before and admired your talent.. for this is clearly written by someone with a lot of it! It's an excellent entry, you have this rondeau redouble down to a science! It was so fun to read, and it is also something so many of your readers can relate to, me included! You were wise to write about something that your reader relates with, especially for a contest entry.
Comment Written 21-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2014
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At least you didn't say I was full of it!
When I researched the form I came across a great example written in a light-hearted style, so I thought I would emulate that - I am quite pleased with the result.
Comment from INtity
Job well done! This is a excellent poem! I love your last stanza. The simile of Brothers Grimm and the seraphim is awesome! Well crafted piece here.
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2014
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Job well done! This is a excellent poem! I love your last stanza. The simile of Brothers Grimm and the seraphim is awesome! Well crafted piece here.
Comment Written 21-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2014
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Thank you!
Comment from adewpearl
excellent use of abab rhyming
good use of iambic meter and enjambment, which makes for good cadence and flow
nice alliteration in phrases like taut and trim
excellent use of the rondeau redouble's repeated lines taken from the first stanza
good assonance in touch of rust
great humor in a well-composed poem :-) Brooke b
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2014
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excellent use of abab rhyming
good use of iambic meter and enjambment, which makes for good cadence and flow
nice alliteration in phrases like taut and trim
excellent use of the rondeau redouble's repeated lines taken from the first stanza
good assonance in touch of rust
great humor in a well-composed poem :-) Brooke b
Comment Written 21-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2014
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Thanks, brooke!
Comment from chasennov
Rondeau Redouble "Spring Refrain" Perhaps we should all view tomorrow with absolutely no mistakes in it yet, and maybe also make a new resolution each day. Well done.
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2014
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Rondeau Redouble "Spring Refrain" Perhaps we should all view tomorrow with absolutely no mistakes in it yet, and maybe also make a new resolution each day. Well done.
Comment Written 21-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2014
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Thank you!
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Welcome.
Comment from kiwijenny
He he he ..I know this well. So I like Dolly Parton say, "I don't let other people see me sweat." In fact I exercise incidentally. The bathroom is my go to place since I had preemie twins. I exercise to my age..walking in place stretches etc...and on the couch 8 reps of bicycle legs and rest in between...especially if I eat sweets.
God bless and good luck
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2014
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He he he ..I know this well. So I like Dolly Parton say, "I don't let other people see me sweat." In fact I exercise incidentally. The bathroom is my go to place since I had preemie twins. I exercise to my age..walking in place stretches etc...and on the couch 8 reps of bicycle legs and rest in between...especially if I eat sweets.
God bless and good luck
Comment Written 21-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2014
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Well when I start my exercise tomorrow, I may come to you for tips!
Thanks for reviewing.
Comment from tdragonfly
LOL. We are all guilty of this one or at least most of us.
You have put it so well. Now only if we can take the message to heart and do it. I thank you for reminding me to get back on the wagon. Right after the party tomorrow. LOL.
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2014
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LOL. We are all guilty of this one or at least most of us.
You have put it so well. Now only if we can take the message to heart and do it. I thank you for reminding me to get back on the wagon. Right after the party tomorrow. LOL.
Comment Written 21-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2014
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Yeah, I'm starting next week!
Thanks for stopping by.
Comment from rjuselius
haha. this is an entertaining piece of poetic art! what you can do tomorrow, don't bother doing it today:) procratination is a form of art as well.
thank you for sharing!
good luck in the contest!
rebekka x
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2014
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haha. this is an entertaining piece of poetic art! what you can do tomorrow, don't bother doing it today:) procratination is a form of art as well.
thank you for sharing!
good luck in the contest!
rebekka x
Comment Written 21-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2014
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Yep, one art form I'm pretty good at!
Thanks for stopping by.
Comment from c_lucas
This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for an interesting read. Thee is good imagery and descriptive scheme. Good job.
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2014
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This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for an interesting read. Thee is good imagery and descriptive scheme. Good job.
Comment Written 21-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2014
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Thank you!
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You're welcome,
Comment from mfowler
This very funny poem really appeals and should connect with the many desk jockeys sitting at the computer reading this. We have all made those promises, recited the mantras, and then procratsinated till a better day. I thought that your ideas were very well thought out, expressed with a sense of whimsy, written in great iambic pentameter, and presented beautifully in this script style that suggests light-heartedness. Loved:
The smorgasbord of life I shall distil.
My body is a temple, that's my hymn.
It's fruit and veg and lean meat from the grill -
this spring you'll see the new me, taut and trim............. the religious side of diet and exercise always speaks volumes to my faith in failure.
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2014
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This very funny poem really appeals and should connect with the many desk jockeys sitting at the computer reading this. We have all made those promises, recited the mantras, and then procratsinated till a better day. I thought that your ideas were very well thought out, expressed with a sense of whimsy, written in great iambic pentameter, and presented beautifully in this script style that suggests light-heartedness. Loved:
The smorgasbord of life I shall distil.
My body is a temple, that's my hymn.
It's fruit and veg and lean meat from the grill -
this spring you'll see the new me, taut and trim............. the religious side of diet and exercise always speaks volumes to my faith in failure.
Comment Written 21-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2014
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Thanks for the most generous review.
I am a prime procrastinator... but I really will start my diet this week.
Steve
Comment from Delahay
That sounds an awful lot lot a bar I heard of at one time that advertised "Free beer tomorrow". Of course tomorrow never really gets here does it? The intent is good, I wish you well, but we all know about those good intentions don't we?
Mary
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reply by the author on 21-Sep-2014
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That sounds an awful lot lot a bar I heard of at one time that advertised "Free beer tomorrow". Of course tomorrow never really gets here does it? The intent is good, I wish you well, but we all know about those good intentions don't we?
Mary
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 21-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2014
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Thanks, mary - glad you enjoyed.
Steve