Life, Love, and Other Disasters
Viewing comments for Chapter 13 "At the Cemetery"A collection of poems on these themes
74 total reviews
Comment from nancyjam
Another beautiful well-crafted poem Steve. Another win too (my predictions so far have been pretty good! (lol)
Excellent ABAB rhyme, good use of enjambment and alliteration and steady meter.
Thoughts conveyed with sensitivity and mood enhanced by beautiful imagery.
Good luck! nancy
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2014
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Another beautiful well-crafted poem Steve. Another win too (my predictions so far have been pretty good! (lol)
Excellent ABAB rhyme, good use of enjambment and alliteration and steady meter.
Thoughts conveyed with sensitivity and mood enhanced by beautiful imagery.
Good luck! nancy
Comment Written 23-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2014
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Thanks, nancy.
I am pretty pleased with this one but there are some good entries out there and I think I've seen one even better - let's see what the committee thinks.
Steve
Comment from LIJ Red
you'd like some of the country church cemeteries around here. Even the one overlooking the county seat. Very descriptive. Fine writing.
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2014
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you'd like some of the country church cemeteries around here. Even the one overlooking the county seat. Very descriptive. Fine writing.
Comment Written 23-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2014
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Thanks for the kind words.
Steve
Comment from Adri7enne
Dewy romanticism comes to an abrupt end when we realize this is all being seen from the cemetary. Good rhyming and a terrific meter, Steve. "but you'll forever sleep in sorrow's shroud." Good luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2014
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Dewy romanticism comes to an abrupt end when we realize this is all being seen from the cemetary. Good rhyming and a terrific meter, Steve. "but you'll forever sleep in sorrow's shroud." Good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 23-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2014
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Thank you!
Steve
Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep
What a flawless rendition in this poem, Steve. Beautiful rhyming but such a sad ending. Yes the years pass whether we like it or not and memories are all we have to cling to, Giddy
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2014
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What a flawless rendition in this poem, Steve. Beautiful rhyming but such a sad ending. Yes the years pass whether we like it or not and memories are all we have to cling to, Giddy
Comment Written 23-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2014
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Giddy, thanks so much for the generous review and six stars.
Steve
Comment from emrpoems
Excellent use of abab rhyming
good use of alliteration
Good use of enjambment
effective use of personification
Very moving end when we realize that your love has died and will never again share your happy moments/ memories
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2014
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Excellent use of abab rhyming
good use of alliteration
Good use of enjambment
effective use of personification
Very moving end when we realize that your love has died and will never again share your happy moments/ memories
Comment Written 23-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2014
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Thanks for the thoughtful review.
Steve
Comment from fastdigits
A poem of poignant beauty for the
final place of repose for a loved one
where the shades of night in silence
spill softly and not even the whispering
breezes disturb the seemingly brooding
pines; beautifully painted with your
haunting words for one who forever
sleeps in sorrow's shroud.
Well done and good luck
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2014
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A poem of poignant beauty for the
final place of repose for a loved one
where the shades of night in silence
spill softly and not even the whispering
breezes disturb the seemingly brooding
pines; beautifully painted with your
haunting words for one who forever
sleeps in sorrow's shroud.
Well done and good luck
Comment Written 23-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2014
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Thanks for the thoughtful review.
Steve
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Hi Steve,
Most heartfelt. A lifetime of happiness tucked away and are but mere memories when one passes, leaving the other to falter and find their way.
My mom often said the loss and pain of losing my dad was something one can't put into words. The devastation is unreal to cope with. I don't think in the nine years that followed, she ever did really adjust before she passed.
Beautiful work. Sending a 'virtual sixer' since I'm tapped out! Good luck in the contest
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'.... Jax (*.*)
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2014
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Hi Steve,
Most heartfelt. A lifetime of happiness tucked away and are but mere memories when one passes, leaving the other to falter and find their way.
My mom often said the loss and pain of losing my dad was something one can't put into words. The devastation is unreal to cope with. I don't think in the nine years that followed, she ever did really adjust before she passed.
Beautiful work. Sending a 'virtual sixer' since I'm tapped out! Good luck in the contest
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'.... Jax (*.*)
Comment Written 23-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2014
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Jax, thanks for the thoughtful review and the virtual six.
Steve
Comment from ravenblack
The seeming serenity of death contrasted with life - the soft shades, dewy, the lawns in well-trimmed lines in sharp contrast to the town "crazy quilt and gold -hemmed". In this context, the blaze of pines seen from the hill is incredibly strong, serenity in figurative and actual death definitely not preferable to life. Excellent and a six if I had one left to give.
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2014
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The seeming serenity of death contrasted with life - the soft shades, dewy, the lawns in well-trimmed lines in sharp contrast to the town "crazy quilt and gold -hemmed". In this context, the blaze of pines seen from the hill is incredibly strong, serenity in figurative and actual death definitely not preferable to life. Excellent and a six if I had one left to give.
Comment Written 23-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2014
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RB, thanks for the generous review and the virtual six.
Steve
Comment from krys123
Steve;
a brilliantly written double rhyming quatrain of a poem that I enjoyed reading immensely.
Your rhyming being neither forced nor labored even helped with your rhythmic flow which flowed so smoothly throughout your writing.
The imagery was very descriptive and expressive throughout: "Beyond the tree-line lies a distant town, A crazy quilt gold-hammed by dawn's first rays. The needs, the Valley sleeps in misty gown. That is why the silver stream and billowed haze." A very remarkable descriptive analogy and creative visualization Of a morning.
Thank you for sharing and posting this for everyone to read and may the good Lord, be always with you, Steve.
Alex
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2014
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Steve;
a brilliantly written double rhyming quatrain of a poem that I enjoyed reading immensely.
Your rhyming being neither forced nor labored even helped with your rhythmic flow which flowed so smoothly throughout your writing.
The imagery was very descriptive and expressive throughout: "Beyond the tree-line lies a distant town, A crazy quilt gold-hammed by dawn's first rays. The needs, the Valley sleeps in misty gown. That is why the silver stream and billowed haze." A very remarkable descriptive analogy and creative visualization Of a morning.
Thank you for sharing and posting this for everyone to read and may the good Lord, be always with you, Steve.
Alex
Comment Written 23-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2014
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Alex, thanks as always for the warmth of your review - I appreciate the kind words.
Steve
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You are so sincerely welcome, Steve.
Alex
Comment from trimple
Hi Steve
I'm so pleased that I fanned you a wee while back as I may have missed this excellent write.
You draw on the heartstrings as paint so well the scene with your pen.
superb
kind regards
tracey
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2014
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Hi Steve
I'm so pleased that I fanned you a wee while back as I may have missed this excellent write.
You draw on the heartstrings as paint so well the scene with your pen.
superb
kind regards
tracey
Comment Written 23-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2014
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Tracey, thanks for the kind words.
Yes, a little twang of the heart-strings never hurts in these contests.
Steve
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Indeed Steve, they positively depend on them!!! :)