The Battle of Fredricksburg
Contest Entry (173 Words)50 total reviews
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Hi, Monica
= Such an excellent write, and entry for the contest.
= Of course, I love the Civil War era. (*<*)
= Awesome choice of artwork to complement your poem and presentation.
= Good luck in the contest.
* Cheers & Blessings *
Keep Smilin'... Jackie (*>*) Jax
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2016
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Hi, Monica
= Such an excellent write, and entry for the contest.
= Of course, I love the Civil War era. (*<*)
= Awesome choice of artwork to complement your poem and presentation.
= Good luck in the contest.
* Cheers & Blessings *
Keep Smilin'... Jackie (*>*) Jax
Comment Written 17-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2016
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Again, I send you huge hugs and many thanks for such generous and elevating kindness.
Comment from Ben Colder
You have my vote. The blue came to know the results. What a mess of poor leadership. Amazing how we can look back and see what we could have done different. Well done.
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2016
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You have my vote. The blue came to know the results. What a mess of poor leadership. Amazing how we can look back and see what we could have done different. Well done.
Comment Written 17-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2016
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Thank you very much, Ben. I am intrigued with all the history and dynamics which surrounded the Civil War era of this country. I am so happy you feel I did this particular battle justice and grateful for your kind and encouraging feedback.
Comment from krys123
Mystic Angel;
-after reading three or four of these from other really well-written writers I've taken notice two years especially as being one of the best. The flow of your writing was so smooth and the fluidity of the words and rhyming and rhythm acted as a base for this writing to be read understandably and easily.
-Each of your rhyming words were outstandingly contingent and supportive to each of your concepts of each of your lines which made the rhythm to flow as smooth as it has and also none of your rhyming's were forced nor labored which was also helpful in your rhythmic flow.
-Your rhythmic seemingly was in iambic tetrameter and along with your cadence, timing and tempo your reading proved to be fluid, clear and easy.
-You had good use of enjambment which is the running on of a thought or concept from one line, stanza and couplet to the next without a syntactical break.
-The picture was very relative and appropriate for your conceptual theme and also complementary to your writing.
-The imagery was very distinct and to the point and evidently expressive and vividly and demonstratively descriptive throughout your expertise writing.
-Good luck in the contest and may the good Lord be with you always.
-Alex
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Mystic Angel;
-after reading three or four of these from other really well-written writers I've taken notice two years especially as being one of the best. The flow of your writing was so smooth and the fluidity of the words and rhyming and rhythm acted as a base for this writing to be read understandably and easily.
-Each of your rhyming words were outstandingly contingent and supportive to each of your concepts of each of your lines which made the rhythm to flow as smooth as it has and also none of your rhyming's were forced nor labored which was also helpful in your rhythmic flow.
-Your rhythmic seemingly was in iambic tetrameter and along with your cadence, timing and tempo your reading proved to be fluid, clear and easy.
-You had good use of enjambment which is the running on of a thought or concept from one line, stanza and couplet to the next without a syntactical break.
-The picture was very relative and appropriate for your conceptual theme and also complementary to your writing.
-The imagery was very distinct and to the point and evidently expressive and vividly and demonstratively descriptive throughout your expertise writing.
-Good luck in the contest and may the good Lord be with you always.
-Alex
Comment Written 17-Jan-2016
Comment from Sasha
I read this before but my comments remain the same. This is a superb entry for this contest. The imagery you convey is awesome as is the rhythm and rhyme. I especially like how you emphasize the importance of this battle in our history. How sad so many Americans died at the hands of other Americans. I wish you all the best in the contest too.
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2016
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I read this before but my comments remain the same. This is a superb entry for this contest. The imagery you convey is awesome as is the rhythm and rhyme. I especially like how you emphasize the importance of this battle in our history. How sad so many Americans died at the hands of other Americans. I wish you all the best in the contest too.
Comment Written 17-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2016
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Thank you very much and know that the feedback is treasured since YOU are back and I am secure in the knowledge that I will get my regular ramble fix that I so miss when you are away.
Comment from royowen
I remember touring the Civil War sites in 2013, we went to most of the sites where the the battles were fought. The Gettysburg, 1st &2nd Bull Run, Fredricksburgh, etc. the scene of Gen.Lee's surrender Appomattox. We discovered to our great dismay, there were almost as many deaths in the American Civil (621,000) as all the other theatres combined (644,000) Americans killing Americans. This is beautifully composed Monica, great descriptive language, superb even meter, rhyme aabb, a lovely smooth read, well done, blessings, Roy.
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2016
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I remember touring the Civil War sites in 2013, we went to most of the sites where the the battles were fought. The Gettysburg, 1st &2nd Bull Run, Fredricksburgh, etc. the scene of Gen.Lee's surrender Appomattox. We discovered to our great dismay, there were almost as many deaths in the American Civil (621,000) as all the other theatres combined (644,000) Americans killing Americans. This is beautifully composed Monica, great descriptive language, superb even meter, rhyme aabb, a lovely smooth read, well done, blessings, Roy.
Comment Written 17-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2016
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Thank you very much, Roy. I, too, have toured most of the sites as I am intrigued with the dynamics of that period of time. Fredricksburg was to the Union what Gettysburg was to the Confederacy. The bloodiest battles in history were waged during this one particular war. Over 13,000 Union troops met their destruction here, two thirds of them in the approach to Maryhe's Heights. I am so happy you feel I did this justice and always grateful for your wonderful words of encouragement and support.
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Well done Monica,
Comment from Nan Beeson
I am not much on history and war stories, but your battle contest entry of only 173 words intrigued me. It held my attention because of the way it was presented.
The quatrains made it easy to read and understand, and the end rhymes were an added bonus. The dark print gave the feel of the impact of war.
Your description and vivid visual wording made it seem like a motion picture unfolding before my eyes.
Thank you for adding something to my learning something new, and good luck in the contest. You met all the requirements as far as I could see.
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2016
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I am not much on history and war stories, but your battle contest entry of only 173 words intrigued me. It held my attention because of the way it was presented.
The quatrains made it easy to read and understand, and the end rhymes were an added bonus. The dark print gave the feel of the impact of war.
Your description and vivid visual wording made it seem like a motion picture unfolding before my eyes.
Thank you for adding something to my learning something new, and good luck in the contest. You met all the requirements as far as I could see.
Comment Written 17-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2016
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Thank you very much for the kind and generous encouragement and feedback. It is such generous support as this that inspires me daily to keep writing and for that I am truly grateful.
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I share your sentiments exactly, Monica. Otherwise, life and time is such a bore and waste of precious moments never to be recaptured.
Comment from Marykelly
This poem reads like a ballad. The description of the battle is clear both physically and emotionally. The rhyme and rhythm move the narrative along and the author places this event in its significance to history. In terms of grammar in line 14 the subject is each which is singular so the verb should be was, not were. Nice job.
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2016
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This poem reads like a ballad. The description of the battle is clear both physically and emotionally. The rhyme and rhythm move the narrative along and the author places this event in its significance to history. In terms of grammar in line 14 the subject is each which is singular so the verb should be was, not were. Nice job.
Comment Written 17-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2016
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Thank you very much for the kind and generous encouragement and feedback. It is such generous support as this that inspires me daily to keep writing and for that I am truly grateful.
Comment from brenda bickers
Wow this good, you must have to know your stuff to be able to write so confidently. It was a clear precise read that flowed well, and was easy to absorb.
Thank you.
Brenda
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Wow this good, you must have to know your stuff to be able to write so confidently. It was a clear precise read that flowed well, and was easy to absorb.
Thank you.
Brenda
Comment Written 17-Jan-2016
Comment from Meera19
The rhyming was on point and you described how a battle would start perfectly. There is only one error: where each of them was quickly marked.
I am not completely sure, but I think "was" should be "were."
Were is plural, and there are many soldiers. But spectacular, and I always have been a fan of historic wars. Excellent! Continue writing
~Meera
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The rhyming was on point and you described how a battle would start perfectly. There is only one error: where each of them was quickly marked.
I am not completely sure, but I think "was" should be "were."
Were is plural, and there are many soldiers. But spectacular, and I always have been a fan of historic wars. Excellent! Continue writing
~Meera
Comment Written 17-Jan-2016
Comment from OnyxSapphire78
This is a fantastic entry for this contest! You did a great job crafting this piece with action and sorrow. I especially liked these lines full of sadness of battle:
The north retreated, limping back
from what was one ill planned attack.
Lee in prayerful silence grieved
for losses which can't be retrieved.
The ending is very nice too and you make an excellent point. Thank you for sharing! Good luck in the contest! God bless!
Amber
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
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This is a fantastic entry for this contest! You did a great job crafting this piece with action and sorrow. I especially liked these lines full of sadness of battle:
The north retreated, limping back
from what was one ill planned attack.
Lee in prayerful silence grieved
for losses which can't be retrieved.
The ending is very nice too and you make an excellent point. Thank you for sharing! Good luck in the contest! God bless!
Amber
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 17-Jan-2016