Life, Love, and Other Disasters
Viewing comments for Chapter 11 "Broken Bird"A collection of poems on these themes
47 total reviews
Comment from Hayley Solomon
Way the best read today!! Utterly amazing. I really, really like your work. You have a deep sensitivity and the correlation between human and bird, dependence and independence, beauty and cruelty was so fluidly drawn you touched my emotions. Great work, you should have a big literary presence in our country.
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2016
  |
Way the best read today!! Utterly amazing. I really, really like your work. You have a deep sensitivity and the correlation between human and bird, dependence and independence, beauty and cruelty was so fluidly drawn you touched my emotions. Great work, you should have a big literary presence in our country.
Comment Written 17-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2016
-
Hayley, I appreciate the thoughtful and emotional response to my poem. I'm still very much a beginner, especially in the realm of free verse. Literary presence sounds very scary!
Steve
-
Steve, nothing scary about it! I often wonder where the great poets in New Zealand are and there you are!
-
Somehow I think being a great poet would be too much like hard work. If I could find a way to earn a buck from this silly skill, that would make me happy!
-
Hear hear! Utterly nothing to be made in poetry, I fear. Why couldn't we have been great golfers?
Comment from William Ross
Wonderful free verse on the broken bird, has a great flow when read. This should do great on the prompt, well written, don't see a thing I'd say to change. Nicely done. good luck on this.
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2016
 |
Wonderful free verse on the broken bird, has a great flow when read. This should do great on the prompt, well written, don't see a thing I'd say to change. Nicely done. good luck on this.
Comment Written 17-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2016
-
William, thank you for the kind remarks.
Steve
Comment from Corporal Rumjugs
An excellent piece! Your poem is rife with meanings aplenty beneath its face as the story of a bird who wished to soar. To me, the bird represented nearly every human life, the dreams we had as children, that were broken apart by life's clinical hand without so much as a consolation. It also seems to picture the oppression of women, they who as little children are promised the world by their fathers, then thrown into a cruel world by the very hand that nurtured them and broken by self doubt and that self same world when she tries to soar, for she knows she is better than this. Your poem is captivating, touching and filled with so much I feel that I've only scratched the surface and even then I'm not sure I got anything right. This sir, is poetry at its finest, as it was meant to be.
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2016
|
An excellent piece! Your poem is rife with meanings aplenty beneath its face as the story of a bird who wished to soar. To me, the bird represented nearly every human life, the dreams we had as children, that were broken apart by life's clinical hand without so much as a consolation. It also seems to picture the oppression of women, they who as little children are promised the world by their fathers, then thrown into a cruel world by the very hand that nurtured them and broken by self doubt and that self same world when she tries to soar, for she knows she is better than this. Your poem is captivating, touching and filled with so much I feel that I've only scratched the surface and even then I'm not sure I got anything right. This sir, is poetry at its finest, as it was meant to be.
Comment Written 17-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2016
-
Thank you for the very thoughtful response to my poem and the six shiny stars.
You are right, that there are multiple meanings. I believe it is true with any good poetry that the reader brings his own emotions and experience to the piece - your interpretation is as good as any.
Steve
Comment from LIJ Red
The free verse is well thought out, even I, who seldom pursue free verse,
can tell that. Image and word usage make poetry out of text. Excellent.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2016
|
The free verse is well thought out, even I, who seldom pursue free verse,
can tell that. Image and word usage make poetry out of text. Excellent.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 17-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2016
-
Thanks for venturing out of your comfort one to read and review.
Steve
Comment from jusylee72
Very nice poem. The bird image is very well portrayed as I read this poem. The hurt bird is defensive, scared wanting so much more and not getting it . Very nice entry.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2016
|
Very nice poem. The bird image is very well portrayed as I read this poem. The hurt bird is defensive, scared wanting so much more and not getting it . Very nice entry.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 17-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2016
-
Thank you for the very kind words.
Steve
Comment from Nika2016
This is so sadly beautiful...the bird flies free to sing her song above the earth ....cannot be bound...her song freely heard by those below...until the poet tries to confine her with his love....
injured and no longer free ..she...is now encaged with the poet himself? Why didn't he just let her sing?
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2016
|
This is so sadly beautiful...the bird flies free to sing her song above the earth ....cannot be bound...her song freely heard by those below...until the poet tries to confine her with his love....
injured and no longer free ..she...is now encaged with the poet himself? Why didn't he just let her sing?
Comment Written 17-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2016
-
Thanks, Nika, for the thoughtful and emotional response and the six stars.
Perhaps I confused you with the use of the word 'captor'... what I intended to convey was that the bird was already hurt beyond repair when they met. The poet tries to heal her with his love, but the task is impossible and they both end up trapped...
Steve
-
Yes...I understood....and so sad that they are now encaged....He did nothing to deserve this and she was just trying to be free....It is emotional as this is the way I feel. Love is not an option, but freedom is..Freedom is not captivity... It is the ability to be one's self in all situations regardless of response. Love ....takes this away...my experience. Beautiful poem.
-
Yes...I understood....and so sad that they are now encaged....He did nothing to deserve this and she was just trying to be free....It is emotional as this is the way I feel. Love is not an option, but freedom is..Freedom is not captivity... It is the ability to be one's self in all situations regardless of response. Love ....takes this away...my experience. Beautiful poem.
Comment from Dawn Munro
Oh gee, thanks a lot - I have tears burning my eyes AGAIN. This is so incredibly sweet, and so sad too. What a beautiful free verse! I wonder if I should even bother writing one again after reading this...sigh...AMAZING!
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2016
|
Oh gee, thanks a lot - I have tears burning my eyes AGAIN. This is so incredibly sweet, and so sad too. What a beautiful free verse! I wonder if I should even bother writing one again after reading this...sigh...AMAZING!
Comment Written 17-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2016
-
Dawn, thanks for the thoughtful and emotional response to my poem. Sorry about the tears!
Steve
-
My pleasure, Steve. :)