Once upon the heart..
Viewing comments for Chapter 16 "Only you..."Love poems
46 total reviews
Comment from Teri7
This is a very beautifully written poem. You used very good descriptive wording and very good imagery. I enjoyed it very much! Blessings, Teri
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2016
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This is a very beautifully written poem. You used very good descriptive wording and very good imagery. I enjoyed it very much! Blessings, Teri
Comment Written 28-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2016
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Ter!! you are so sweet to me!!! thank you!!
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you always inspire me with your writing and friendship! Blessings, Teri
Comment from brownies
Well done. I enjoyed the flow. I have a silly sense of humor and I hope you don't mind my pointing out that "hold my head above water" "flushed" and "let the world spin by" sounds like characteristics of a toilet. Please do not take this as an insult but as humor in light of the fact that the poem is nicely done.
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2016
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Well done. I enjoyed the flow. I have a silly sense of humor and I hope you don't mind my pointing out that "hold my head above water" "flushed" and "let the world spin by" sounds like characteristics of a toilet. Please do not take this as an insult but as humor in light of the fact that the poem is nicely done.
Comment Written 28-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2016
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hahahahaha OH BOY!!!!...now there's a flip of my meaning!!!! thanks for the morning laugh!!!
Comment from WalkerMan
What a splendid expression of love and hope unfurling like the petals of a rosebud opening to the warmth of late spring. The cold, lonely winter has passed, and the heat of the sun's loving embrace is rising. It warms my heart to read such lovely words. Superb -- and beautifully presented with heart image, pleasant light green background, and centered italic text. So sweet!
Minor typo: Missing period at end of Stanza 1.
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2016
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What a splendid expression of love and hope unfurling like the petals of a rosebud opening to the warmth of late spring. The cold, lonely winter has passed, and the heat of the sun's loving embrace is rising. It warms my heart to read such lovely words. Superb -- and beautifully presented with heart image, pleasant light green background, and centered italic text. So sweet!
Minor typo: Missing period at end of Stanza 1.
Comment Written 28-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2016
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MIKE!! you spoil me too with your reviews!!! They are better then the poem!!! So happy you liked this one. hugs
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You are most welcome, Susan. I really like this one -- but, then, I like all your recent posts. (I see your corrections, and revised the review.) There is so much love and hope shining forth from this one.... -- Mike
Comment from Thal1959
Lovely poem with sweet sentiments and rhymes, including internal rhymes in each third line. But I don't know why you chose the meter you did 7,8,9,10 syllables progressing from line 1 to line 4 in each quatrain. This is just my personal opinion, but it seems to be self-defeating. Each stanza establishes a beat in their first two lines, which is then subsequently, and noticeably, stretched by the increasingly longer lines 3 and 4. The end result is that the third and fourth lines become a bit awkward. If there was a legitimate purpose for this, I missed it.
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reply by the author on 29-Dec-2016
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Lovely poem with sweet sentiments and rhymes, including internal rhymes in each third line. But I don't know why you chose the meter you did 7,8,9,10 syllables progressing from line 1 to line 4 in each quatrain. This is just my personal opinion, but it seems to be self-defeating. Each stanza establishes a beat in their first two lines, which is then subsequently, and noticeably, stretched by the increasingly longer lines 3 and 4. The end result is that the third and fourth lines become a bit awkward. If there was a legitimate purpose for this, I missed it.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 28-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2016
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purpose??? i just wanted to try it.
Inkwell Climb
The Inkwell Climb was invented by our own Poet Laureate Richard on 20/06/2010. It requires four lines per verse, with a syllable count per line of 7,8,9,10, and a rhyme scheme of a,b,c-c,b, changing in each succeeding verse: that is, verse two, d,e,f-f,e, verse three g,h,i-i,h, etc. Please, note that line three contains an internal rhyme that matches the last syllable. Presentation must be either centered, or aligned left. Three verses minimum, with no maximum requirement.
Thank you very much for taking the time to read and review! Much appreciated. :-)
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Thanks for the explanation. It seems to me that we sometimes try to find poetic forms that are so unique they become to complicated. My impression was that by increasing the foot of the lines, the rhythm might build to a crescendo. But it does not. It stretches, then collapses with the reading of the first line of the proceeding stanza. Nothing personal, but I don't think I'd care to try it. Thanks again for the explanation.
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lol geez...i'll been writing for only 6 months...I'm not sure if i even understand what your saying!!! hehehe.. I'm just trying out different forms..learning what i can. :-)
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I replied to your other remarks on this review. Thanks.
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ya..not following you..nevermind
Comment from bertranclan
I love it! My favorite stanza is the last one, especially "Shined on by a star...brighter memoir;". But did you mean, "Breathe life within" rather than "breath life within"? Probably just a typo. I like your artwork, too. Matches the "flushed by our glow, becoming much hotter". Well done!
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2016
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I love it! My favorite stanza is the last one, especially "Shined on by a star...brighter memoir;". But did you mean, "Breathe life within" rather than "breath life within"? Probably just a typo. I like your artwork, too. Matches the "flushed by our glow, becoming much hotter". Well done!
Comment Written 28-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2016
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typo...corrected!..thanks for reading and the great review!!!! much appreciated!!!
Comment from heyjude
susan, I like this. I like the part where darkness has been ... breath life
within. Then I like that whole last verse. This sounds light life
is brighter because of the loved one... there used to be darkness and
loneliness, but with the coming of love it changed.
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reply by the author on 29-Dec-2016
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susan, I like this. I like the part where darkness has been ... breath life
within. Then I like that whole last verse. This sounds light life
is brighter because of the loved one... there used to be darkness and
loneliness, but with the coming of love it changed.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 28-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2016
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Always appreciate your reviews!!!! thank you so very much!!! HUGS
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Hugs right back at ya. Judy