tanka (empty bell tower)
For whom the bell tolls?78 total reviews
Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep
Good luck for your lovely entry about the silent belltower in winter. You gave us some excellent images and the middle line worked very well as a twist and adjoined both haiku, Giddy
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2017
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Good luck for your lovely entry about the silent belltower in winter. You gave us some excellent images and the middle line worked very well as a twist and adjoined both haiku, Giddy
Comment Written 05-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2017
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Yes, Giddy, I love that middle line, too. I also get inspiration from pigeons. Thank you for your review and for wishing me the best in the contest.
Comment from sue133
This is a brilliant Tanka poem which includes all the prescribed elements and reads beautifully. The imagery is very good and I like the sort of 'reverse' personification when you describe the pigeons as 'tinkling bell chimes on bare tree'. The music sets it off really well. Susan
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2017
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This is a brilliant Tanka poem which includes all the prescribed elements and reads beautifully. The imagery is very good and I like the sort of 'reverse' personification when you describe the pigeons as 'tinkling bell chimes on bare tree'. The music sets it off really well. Susan
Comment Written 05-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2017
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Thank you, Susan, for your review of my "brilliant Tanka." Your kind words cheer me.
Comment from Rlegel99
This poem follows the Tanks poetry requirement of 5/7/5/7/7 syllables. Love the imagery of wind as chimes. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2017
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This poem follows the Tanks poetry requirement of 5/7/5/7/7 syllables. Love the imagery of wind as chimes. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 05-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2017
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Thank you for your review and for wishing me the best in the contest.
Comment from nancyrabbrose
The tanka of the bells. Lovely poem and thank you for the accompanying music. I have wind chimes and thank you for reminding me that my "church" is out under my pergola. And, good for you for attempting a tanka. Well done.
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2017
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The tanka of the bells. Lovely poem and thank you for the accompanying music. I have wind chimes and thank you for reminding me that my "church" is out under my pergola. And, good for you for attempting a tanka. Well done.
Comment Written 05-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2017
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Yes, Nancy, "church" is out under your pergola. I almost passed this morning the wind chimes that inspired me a month ago. I stopped to listen to them again and thank them for the inspiration. They tinkled, "You're welcome."
Thanks again.
Comment from mermaids
There is a feel of peace and relaxation in your words. "Pigeons roost in peace" shows the impact of the wind chimes. Excellent tanka form that brings up good feelings.
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2017
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There is a feel of peace and relaxation in your words. "Pigeons roost in peace" shows the impact of the wind chimes. Excellent tanka form that brings up good feelings.
Comment Written 05-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2017
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Thank you, Mermaids, for your review. I am glad my tanka made you feel peace and relaxation.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Wind chimes do cause people to reflect. All bell towers should have bells. It's just wrong not to. I enjoyed reading your wonderful poem. I am glad people convinced you to try. You did good.
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2017
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Wind chimes do cause people to reflect. All bell towers should have bells. It's just wrong not to. I enjoyed reading your wonderful poem. I am glad people convinced you to try. You did good.
Comment Written 05-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2017
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Thank you, Barbara, for your review of my "wonderful poem." I am thrilled I tried another Japanese form.
Comment from Jay Squires
Brilliant contrast between the lofty and the familiar, the man-made tower against nature's bare tree, the loud and the soft, the implicit (since it's now silent) gong and the tinkling .... Overall it's the contrast of the silencing of what was made by man, with the gentle tinkling, produced by nature's breezes playing on chimes ... that calls the poet to meditation.
Beautifully conceived, masterfully executed.
I hope this does well in the contest, Andre.
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2017
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Brilliant contrast between the lofty and the familiar, the man-made tower against nature's bare tree, the loud and the soft, the implicit (since it's now silent) gong and the tinkling .... Overall it's the contrast of the silencing of what was made by man, with the gentle tinkling, produced by nature's breezes playing on chimes ... that calls the poet to meditation.
Beautifully conceived, masterfully executed.
I hope this does well in the contest, Andre.
Comment Written 05-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2017
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Oh, thank you, Jay, for your generous review. I am quite thrilled at my first tanka and my first pom using sound. I actually stopped by the wind chimes today to meditate and thank them for the inspiration. I thank you, too, for wishing me success in the contest.
Comment from Mastery
Excellent tanka, Andre. This is your first one, you say? Wow! Good job, my friend. I especially like this image:
"tinkling wind chimes on bare tree"
Bravo! Thanks for sharing. Blessings, Bob
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2017
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Excellent tanka, Andre. This is your first one, you say? Wow! Good job, my friend. I especially like this image:
"tinkling wind chimes on bare tree"
Bravo! Thanks for sharing. Blessings, Bob
Comment Written 05-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2017
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Yes, Bob, this is my first tanka. It took me a month to write. When I saw and heard wind chimes on February 5, I recorded it on my phone so that I can listen to it again for inspiration. I am going to keep writing tankas. Thanks.
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Good for you, Andre! Bob
Comment from catch22
This is a great poem with concrete images that calm the reader and a clever pivot line. The syllable count was good as well. Excellent write.
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2017
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This is a great poem with concrete images that calm the reader and a clever pivot line. The syllable count was good as well. Excellent write.
Comment Written 05-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2017
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Oh, thank you for your review of my "great poem with concrete images that calm the reader and a clever pivot line."
Comment from Douglas Paul
I like the imagery in this. I can see that tower and feel the peacefulness that would cause one to meditate. You did a good job on this one, Sis Cat
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2017
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I like the imagery in this. I can see that tower and feel the peacefulness that would cause one to meditate. You did a good job on this one, Sis Cat
Comment Written 05-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2017
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Thank you, Douglas, for your review and compliments. They cheer me.