Speed Thrills But Accuracy Kills
Sometimes Being Last is a good thing59 total reviews
Comment from Mark D. R.
I can't comment if your meter was not perfect, but the story you weave is excellent. I did enjoy reading it. Your selected illustration elevates your verse too.
PC or not, I'm unsure if you need a warning for violence. I doubt children under teen years will be reviewing these FS entries. Methinks we adults can take the hit.
Best wishes for your writing prompt entry.
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2019
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I can't comment if your meter was not perfect, but the story you weave is excellent. I did enjoy reading it. Your selected illustration elevates your verse too.
PC or not, I'm unsure if you need a warning for violence. I doubt children under teen years will be reviewing these FS entries. Methinks we adults can take the hit.
Best wishes for your writing prompt entry.
Comment Written 01-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2019
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Thank you very much Mark, I appreciate you taking the time to read and review my work.
Comment from Sallyo
How well I know the feeling
Of rushing off a verse...
I reckon on this as song words
And the meter could be worse!
This has just the right feel for those shoot-out songs. I reckon it would set to music well with a bridge and chorus.
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2019
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How well I know the feeling
Of rushing off a verse...
I reckon on this as song words
And the meter could be worse!
This has just the right feel for those shoot-out songs. I reckon it would set to music well with a bridge and chorus.
Comment Written 01-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2019
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Thank very much Sally. It's a secret dream to be a country music lyricist. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review my work.
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I thought it was fun.
Comment from A. Willow Bends
Great job. Should it be "stepped OFF our pace". You might make that little correction if time. Meter doesn't really matter here, in my personal opinion. This is a great western entry. After all, we get poetic license to do as we please as writers of poetry and once in a great while, we have to step outside the rules to get our point across. You did a great job with this. Good luck!
Wendy
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2019
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Great job. Should it be "stepped OFF our pace". You might make that little correction if time. Meter doesn't really matter here, in my personal opinion. This is a great western entry. After all, we get poetic license to do as we please as writers of poetry and once in a great while, we have to step outside the rules to get our point across. You did a great job with this. Good luck!
Wendy
Comment Written 01-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2019
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Thank you for pointing out yhe spelling error, I fixed it. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review my work.
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Ah! This is where I found the error that 40 others missed apparently! Tell them to read slower and pay closer attention! Thanks again for the reviewer vote!
Comment from dragonpoet
The speaker in this poem takes his time and is in no hurry to be in the gunfight. He knows it's inevitable. He survives because he takes aim and doesn't just pull and shoot. Patience saves his life
Keep writing
dragonpoet
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2019
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The speaker in this poem takes his time and is in no hurry to be in the gunfight. He knows it's inevitable. He survives because he takes aim and doesn't just pull and shoot. Patience saves his life
Keep writing
dragonpoet
Comment Written 01-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2019
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Thank you very much dragonpoet. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review my work.
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You are most kindly welcome.
dp
Comment from tfawcus
Not bad for a 20-minute burst. With a bit of fine-tuning, you could have a good poem here, though maybe not in time to meet the contest deadline. Good luck, anyway.
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2019
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Not bad for a 20-minute burst. With a bit of fine-tuning, you could have a good poem here, though maybe not in time to meet the contest deadline. Good luck, anyway.
Comment Written 01-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2019
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Thank you for reading and reviewing my work.
Comment from kiwisteveh
High noon, the two combatants face off, gun shots ring out, and this time, it seems, the fastest draw is the one who ends up dead!
I like the laid back attitude of the winner here - obviously the extra beer didn't hurt his aim!
You might want to think about changing a few of your commas to full stops unless you want your readers to run out of breath!
Steve
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2019
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High noon, the two combatants face off, gun shots ring out, and this time, it seems, the fastest draw is the one who ends up dead!
I like the laid back attitude of the winner here - obviously the extra beer didn't hurt his aim!
You might want to think about changing a few of your commas to full stops unless you want your readers to run out of breath!
Steve
Comment Written 01-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2019
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Thank you Steve for reading and reviewing my work.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written poem about the life of cowboys that often end up with one dead when the one is slower than the other, all we need to care about is to be the last man standing.
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2019
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A very well-written poem about the life of cowboys that often end up with one dead when the one is slower than the other, all we need to care about is to be the last man standing.
Comment Written 01-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2019
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Thank you for reading and reviewing my work.
Comment from judester
A duel at high noon and the cowboy's thoughts, on perhaps his demise. A beer to gather courage. This is a great entry, wish you the best in the contest. Cheers, j
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2019
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A duel at high noon and the cowboy's thoughts, on perhaps his demise. A beer to gather courage. This is a great entry, wish you the best in the contest. Cheers, j
Comment Written 01-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2019
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Thank you for reading and reviewing my work.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
This is an excellent poem for the contest, Author. This cowboy was sensible enough to wait until noon when the sun was high before stepping out of the saloon for the gunfight. He had a better chance that way. Well done, and good luck in the contest. :)) Sandra
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2019
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This is an excellent poem for the contest, Author. This cowboy was sensible enough to wait until noon when the sun was high before stepping out of the saloon for the gunfight. He had a better chance that way. Well done, and good luck in the contest. :)) Sandra
Comment Written 01-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2019
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Thank you Sandra for reading and reviewing my work.
Comment from kahpot
Yes accuracy does kill more affectively, I like the warm up before the gunfight as one cowboy waits for the noon sun, hoping that it will be to his advantage (I think), "Let the sun see his eye"
I'll step right a little lie
dead men can't reply" ,
very well done, love the artwork for this piece, best wishes for your contest****kahpot
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2019
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Yes accuracy does kill more affectively, I like the warm up before the gunfight as one cowboy waits for the noon sun, hoping that it will be to his advantage (I think), "Let the sun see his eye"
I'll step right a little lie
dead men can't reply" ,
very well done, love the artwork for this piece, best wishes for your contest****kahpot
Comment Written 01-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2019
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Thank you kahpot for reading and reviewing my work.
