Heart Cafted Poems - 2020
Viewing comments for Chapter 13 "Indistinguishability"Musings of an old man -2020
51 total reviews
Comment from Gloria ....
What a neat idea for a contest and by George you've done it, J. Heather Rose would be thrilled to see this and with so many fine entries.
Just one suggestion on your saucer line, ie the last one you've used identical with self for the second. You can have that eight syllables stretch out to be quite long, so you might give that a second look. That said, it is fine just as is.
Best of luck to you in the voting booth. :)
Gloria
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2020
  |
What a neat idea for a contest and by George you've done it, J. Heather Rose would be thrilled to see this and with so many fine entries.
Just one suggestion on your saucer line, ie the last one you've used identical with self for the second. You can have that eight syllables stretch out to be quite long, so you might give that a second look. That said, it is fine just as is.
Best of luck to you in the voting booth. :)
Gloria
Comment Written 14-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2020
-
Thank you for the good wishes.
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
Wow I truly loved this teacup poem, Nicely done with the idea of using 20 letters as the original word. 'being identical with self ' is pure genious. Nicely done
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2020
|
Wow I truly loved this teacup poem, Nicely done with the idea of using 20 letters as the original word. 'being identical with self ' is pure genious. Nicely done
Comment Written 14-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2020
-
Barb, I appreciate the validation.
Comment from Sharon Haiste
I think this is a good entry for the 20- Letter Teacup Dictionary Poem contest.
I think it's hard enough to find a 20 letter word, and then describe it in a teacup dictionary poem, well done.
Well done and I wish you luck with the contest.
Sharon
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2020
|
I think this is a good entry for the 20- Letter Teacup Dictionary Poem contest.
I think it's hard enough to find a 20 letter word, and then describe it in a teacup dictionary poem, well done.
Well done and I wish you luck with the contest.
Sharon
Comment Written 14-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2020
-
Sharon, thank you.
Comment from Diana L Crawford
Wow! Excellently put together! Your decreasing syllable count is spot on and you make a very lovely teacup from the words. I'm sure this was not an easy task!
Thanks for sharing! xoxo
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2020
|
Wow! Excellently put together! Your decreasing syllable count is spot on and you make a very lovely teacup from the words. I'm sure this was not an easy task!
Thanks for sharing! xoxo
Comment Written 14-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2020
-
Thank you very much it truly was a challenge!
-
Thank you very much it truly was a challenge!
Comment from zlp22
Very interesting. Short read that says what a word means. Good luck in the contest. That type of poem is not easy to write. So many ways of saying things.
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2020
|
Very interesting. Short read that says what a word means. Good luck in the contest. That type of poem is not easy to write. So many ways of saying things.
Comment Written 14-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2020
-
Thank you.
Comment from royowen
Well done with your choice of word in this teacup dictionary poem, by choosing indistinguishability as your twenty letter word, and making a reasonable case for your shape. Well done, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2020
|
Well done with your choice of word in this teacup dictionary poem, by choosing indistinguishability as your twenty letter word, and making a reasonable case for your shape. Well done, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 14-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2020
-
Roy, thanks much!
-
Good job
Comment from BeasPeas
Hi Jim. I like this. You've chosen a very good word. Selfsameness. I like that, too. Your teacup is a fine contender for the contest, I think. Best of luck. Marilyn
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2020
|
Hi Jim. I like this. You've chosen a very good word. Selfsameness. I like that, too. Your teacup is a fine contender for the contest, I think. Best of luck. Marilyn
Comment Written 14-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2020
-
Marilyn thank you for the validating words.
-
You are welcome and good luck in the contest. Marilyn
-
Marilyn thank you for the validating words.
Comment from CrystieCookie999
Most definitely a 20-letter word! I believe you did a great job with the form, having read at least a dozen of these by another writer. It looks like the illustration choice supports the poem, too. Fun post.
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2020
|
Most definitely a 20-letter word! I believe you did a great job with the form, having read at least a dozen of these by another writer. It looks like the illustration choice supports the poem, too. Fun post.
Comment Written 14-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2020
-
Thank you, a new thing can be fun to develop.
Comment from estory
I liked the imagination behind the concept of this, and the execution was well done. I loved the minimalist focus and I think it was a perfect form for this theme of self absorption. The repetitions of 'identical' and 'one' hammer home the image and the theme at the same time. the tight lines in a nervous rhythm also work well to scaffold and frame this concept. Nice job. estory
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2020
 |
I liked the imagination behind the concept of this, and the execution was well done. I loved the minimalist focus and I think it was a perfect form for this theme of self absorption. The repetitions of 'identical' and 'one' hammer home the image and the theme at the same time. the tight lines in a nervous rhythm also work well to scaffold and frame this concept. Nice job. estory
Comment Written 14-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2020
-
Estory, wow! thank you so very much for the validation!
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written Teacup dictionary poem about indistinguishability. That means something identical to each other. There is one correction I would suggest in the teacup dictionary the dictionary word must be part of the teacup shape.
Indistinguishability
Nature of being alike
identical with self
mirrored images
is selfsameness
reflection
oneness
one
being identical with self
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2020
|
A very well-written Teacup dictionary poem about indistinguishability. That means something identical to each other. There is one correction I would suggest in the teacup dictionary the dictionary word must be part of the teacup shape.
Indistinguishability
Nature of being alike
identical with self
mirrored images
is selfsameness
reflection
oneness
one
being identical with self
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 14-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2020
-
Sandra, thank you for pointing this out my mistake...