Crumbling Foundations
5/7/5 Site Contest56 total reviews
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Revisited Foundations
by Mrs. KT
Hello my friend
It's a pleasure to read a well crafted 5/7/5 poem. Your words describe fear palpably. Great imagery and metaphor. The kiru is well executed. The juxtaposition of doors and unhinged dreams... well done. I'm sorry, I don't have sixes left.
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2020
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Revisited Foundations
by Mrs. KT
Hello my friend
It's a pleasure to read a well crafted 5/7/5 poem. Your words describe fear palpably. Great imagery and metaphor. The kiru is well executed. The juxtaposition of doors and unhinged dreams... well done. I'm sorry, I don't have sixes left.
Comment Written 05-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2020
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Hello Gypsy!
These short poems are challenging!
Glad you enjoyed!
Thank you!
diane
Comment from Gloria ....
Haaaaaa, I love this Diane. Superb imagery, that is wholly contained with the body of words in your short poem. The "irony" is delicious and yes those imbalanced dreams can come back to haunt.
An excellent entry into this contest and I wish you much luck with the Committee.
Gloria
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2020
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Haaaaaa, I love this Diane. Superb imagery, that is wholly contained with the body of words in your short poem. The "irony" is delicious and yes those imbalanced dreams can come back to haunt.
An excellent entry into this contest and I wish you much luck with the Committee.
Gloria
Comment Written 05-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2020
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Hello Gloria!
So pleased you enjoyed!
thank you!
diane
Comment from Janice Canerdy
This is a really excellent poem. It says so much in only seventeen syllables.
Your metaphor and simile, both superb, convey an uplifting message about those dreams lurking near; they can't become a reality till the old fears are gone.
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2020
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This is a really excellent poem. It says so much in only seventeen syllables.
Your metaphor and simile, both superb, convey an uplifting message about those dreams lurking near; they can't become a reality till the old fears are gone.
Comment Written 05-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2020
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Hello Janice!
Glad you enjoyed!
Thank you!
diane
Comment from Suzanna Ray
Dear madam, you have just sent a shiver up my spine with this post,
(I think poetry can do that) and the picture does it too! ( where did you
Ever find a picture like that one? )
But they work very nicely together to achieve that creepy feeling.
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2020
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Dear madam, you have just sent a shiver up my spine with this post,
(I think poetry can do that) and the picture does it too! ( where did you
Ever find a picture like that one? )
But they work very nicely together to achieve that creepy feeling.
Comment Written 05-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2020
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Hello Suzanna!
So pleased my words resonated with you!
Glad you enjoyed!
Thank you!
diane
Comment from rama devi
Unique metaphor, and fine bonus of rhyming, both serve to make this a stand-out 5-7-5/ Bravo! And the consonance of L, R, K and D, plus alliteration of D, make this a phonic feast to read aloud!
Good luck,
Warmly,
rd
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2020
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Unique metaphor, and fine bonus of rhyming, both serve to make this a stand-out 5-7-5/ Bravo! And the consonance of L, R, K and D, plus alliteration of D, make this a phonic feast to read aloud!
Good luck,
Warmly,
rd
Comment Written 05-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2020
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Hello rd!
Oh! So honored by your exceptional rating and complimentary review! The short poems are always a challenge!
Thank you!
diane
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:-)))
Comment from Bichon
This was the perfect example of a five seven five! I loved the metaphors and comparison between the doors and fears, very clever and got the message across clearly.
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2020
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This was the perfect example of a five seven five! I loved the metaphors and comparison between the doors and fears, very clever and got the message across clearly.
Comment Written 05-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2020
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Hello Chloe!
Glad you enjoyed!
Thank you!
diane
Comment from CrystieCookie999
This has some interesting poetic devices going on, with a simile in the first line comparing doors to fears (old ones, in each case) and end rhymes with fears, disappear, and near, and the idea that dreams are metaphorical unhinged doors which can be personified as something able to lurk and unnerve the reader. Great entry.
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2020
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This has some interesting poetic devices going on, with a simile in the first line comparing doors to fears (old ones, in each case) and end rhymes with fears, disappear, and near, and the idea that dreams are metaphorical unhinged doors which can be personified as something able to lurk and unnerve the reader. Great entry.
Comment Written 05-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2020
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Hello Crystie!
So very pleased you enjoyed!
Thank you!
diane
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Good artwork and
presentation, diane.
-The syllable count is good,
along with the imagery and rhyme.
-I like the comparison of the
doors and fears, followed by
"unhinged dreams" at the end.
-A good entry; good luck.
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2020
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-Good artwork and
presentation, diane.
-The syllable count is good,
along with the imagery and rhyme.
-I like the comparison of the
doors and fears, followed by
"unhinged dreams" at the end.
-A good entry; good luck.
Comment Written 05-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2020
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Hello Pam!
This was a fun poem to attempt!
thank you!
diane
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You are very welcome, diane. It's always good to try something that is fun.
Comment from Sumpta
Nice one dear. We all pray and wish for our fears to disappear. Well done.
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2020
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Nice one dear. We all pray and wish for our fears to disappear. Well done.
Comment Written 05-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2020
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Hello Sumpta!
So pleased you enjoyed!
Thank you!
diane
Comment from Raffaelina Lowcock
Many things in our lives seem to be lurking just around the corner at times. We try to ignore them but they cling to us until we resolve the lurking problem. This is a very useful metaphor you are using and an attractive presentation. Nicely done. :)Ralf
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2020
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Many things in our lives seem to be lurking just around the corner at times. We try to ignore them but they cling to us until we resolve the lurking problem. This is a very useful metaphor you are using and an attractive presentation. Nicely done. :)Ralf
Comment Written 05-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2020
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Hello Ralf!
So pleased my words resonated with you!
Thank you!
diane