Another Pretty Face
Viewing comments for Chapter 13 "Chapter 5; part two"Can love survive small town gossip?
74 total reviews
Comment from bhogg
Barbara - thanks for picking up on my gaffe. In fact, the only reason I didn't give a six is that the system won't let me give you one yet! Warm regards, Bill
Barbara - I so get in to your stories. Well written, well edited, just a great read. There is anticipation of the story, and old fashion romance, just perfect. Regards, Bill
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2010
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Barbara - thanks for picking up on my gaffe. In fact, the only reason I didn't give a six is that the system won't let me give you one yet! Warm regards, Bill
Barbara - I so get in to your stories. Well written, well edited, just a great read. There is anticipation of the story, and old fashion romance, just perfect. Regards, Bill
Comment Written 29-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2010
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Bill, I am confused. It seems you liked my post, but gave me a 4. Was it a mistake?
Comment from missy98writer
Barbara,
I can't believe your already on chapter Thirteen of you book 'Another Pretty Face.' Cute girl in the art work. You latest chapter is extremely well written and an enjoyable read. Excellent narrative, natural dialogue, wonderful imagery - I could see the story in my head as I read and very descriptive writing. I enjoyed the lines:
At the beginning of the fifth inning, Joe watched Sara walk over to work the bake sale, and then returned his attention to the softball game. Cassie's a good little pitcher. I can't believe this late in the game she's still striking them out. When the game ended, Joe stared at the scoreboard. We won 3 to 1. He glanced toward the bake sale. I guess Sara will help clean up. I'll wait for Cassie.
He stood beside the stands and listened to the coach talk with the girls. Joe watched the girls pick up the bats, balls and trash around the dugout. Joe smiled while Cassie and Angela visited. Finally, Angela's mom told her it was time to leave. As Cassie walked toward Joe, a tall slender teenage boy walked up to her. Unable to hear what he said, Joe knew by the frown on Cassie's face she felt uncomfortable. Joe remembered seeing that teenage male hanging around the dugout during the game.
A friend grabbed his arm. "Marc, this guy's Joe Barnes. You know; the secret agent the whole town's talking about. I don't think you better antagonize him."
He took his cell from his pocket and dialed. "Hey, Nick, if Cassie Riley calls for me, immediately patch her through."
He stopped and stared into Cassie's eyes. "I doubt your mom and I will break up. I'm planning on becoming a permanent fixture in your life," he teased. "If for some reason we do, I promise I'll always care about your well being. Understand?" He used his finger to brush the top of her nose. "You're important to me, too."
"I guess. I don't want you to leave, but I don't have a choice." She turned toward the bathroom and walked down the hall. "I'm old enough to be kissed, so I don't understand all the secrecy about kissing Mom goodnight." She slammed the bathroom door.
"You're right. I'm used to having Cassie always around. Think we can come up with something to do until she returns in two hours?"
Hum, I wonder what they will do. Joe is almost too good to be true. Send me a Joe. Sara is a lucky woman. I love the rapport he has with Sara's daughter, Cassie. Excellent chapter, my friend. I hope your doing fine. Keep on cranking out marvelous chapters. Love and hugs. . .Melissa!
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2010
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Barbara,
I can't believe your already on chapter Thirteen of you book 'Another Pretty Face.' Cute girl in the art work. You latest chapter is extremely well written and an enjoyable read. Excellent narrative, natural dialogue, wonderful imagery - I could see the story in my head as I read and very descriptive writing. I enjoyed the lines:
At the beginning of the fifth inning, Joe watched Sara walk over to work the bake sale, and then returned his attention to the softball game. Cassie's a good little pitcher. I can't believe this late in the game she's still striking them out. When the game ended, Joe stared at the scoreboard. We won 3 to 1. He glanced toward the bake sale. I guess Sara will help clean up. I'll wait for Cassie.
He stood beside the stands and listened to the coach talk with the girls. Joe watched the girls pick up the bats, balls and trash around the dugout. Joe smiled while Cassie and Angela visited. Finally, Angela's mom told her it was time to leave. As Cassie walked toward Joe, a tall slender teenage boy walked up to her. Unable to hear what he said, Joe knew by the frown on Cassie's face she felt uncomfortable. Joe remembered seeing that teenage male hanging around the dugout during the game.
A friend grabbed his arm. "Marc, this guy's Joe Barnes. You know; the secret agent the whole town's talking about. I don't think you better antagonize him."
He took his cell from his pocket and dialed. "Hey, Nick, if Cassie Riley calls for me, immediately patch her through."
He stopped and stared into Cassie's eyes. "I doubt your mom and I will break up. I'm planning on becoming a permanent fixture in your life," he teased. "If for some reason we do, I promise I'll always care about your well being. Understand?" He used his finger to brush the top of her nose. "You're important to me, too."
"I guess. I don't want you to leave, but I don't have a choice." She turned toward the bathroom and walked down the hall. "I'm old enough to be kissed, so I don't understand all the secrecy about kissing Mom goodnight." She slammed the bathroom door.
"You're right. I'm used to having Cassie always around. Think we can come up with something to do until she returns in two hours?"
Hum, I wonder what they will do. Joe is almost too good to be true. Send me a Joe. Sara is a lucky woman. I love the rapport he has with Sara's daughter, Cassie. Excellent chapter, my friend. I hope your doing fine. Keep on cranking out marvelous chapters. Love and hugs. . .Melissa!
Comment Written 29-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2010
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Thank you Missy, for your kind review and continued support.
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You are welcome.
Melissa.
Comment from Belinda
Hi, another interesting chapter. The pace is slow but I enjoy reading it. Cassie seems an attractive and smart girl, but in my imagination she is younger than the girl in the picture. Just a comment.
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2010
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Hi, another interesting chapter. The pace is slow but I enjoy reading it. Cassie seems an attractive and smart girl, but in my imagination she is younger than the girl in the picture. Just a comment.
Comment Written 29-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2010
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Cassie is 13 years old. So the girl in the photo is, I am sure older than she is, but I couldn't find any other photo. It was hard finding one that had all her clothes on.(LOL) Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Roberta Joan Jensen
Another chapter that ends too soon. I keep getting involved with the chapters today, and then they end.
"Come on[,] baby, it wouldn't hurt to be nice to me. You'll like it, I promise benefits."
but in case it wasn't[,] I'm informing you that your treatment of Miss Riley was sexual harassment.
Roberta
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2010
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Another chapter that ends too soon. I keep getting involved with the chapters today, and then they end.
"Come on[,] baby, it wouldn't hurt to be nice to me. You'll like it, I promise benefits."
but in case it wasn't[,] I'm informing you that your treatment of Miss Riley was sexual harassment.
Roberta
Comment Written 29-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2010
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Thank you Roberta, for your review. I always appreciate hearing from your. I hope your move goes smoothly.
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I'll let you know about the move. I am so worried it's not going to go smoothly!
Comment from Shirley McLain
This is a wonderful story and I want more of it PDQ. You do such a good job portraying your characters and thier emotions. Your dialogue is excellent. Great job.
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2010
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This is a wonderful story and I want more of it PDQ. You do such a good job portraying your characters and thier emotions. Your dialogue is excellent. Great job.
Comment Written 29-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2010
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Thank you for your kind review and continued support.
Comment from Teri7
This is another very well written chapter. You used very good descriptive wording and very good dialog. A joy to read and review. Well worth the six stars. Hugs, Teri
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2010
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This is another very well written chapter. You used very good descriptive wording and very good dialog. A joy to read and review. Well worth the six stars. Hugs, Teri
Comment Written 29-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2010
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Thank you for your kind review. I appreciate your support.
Comment from lucyanne1977
A lovely story. I enjoyed reading it and I found nothing wrong with it. I really lked the characters. I hope your surgery goes well.
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2010
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A lovely story. I enjoyed reading it and I found nothing wrong with it. I really lked the characters. I hope your surgery goes well.
Comment Written 29-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Dave M
Barbara,
Who won the game? I'm sure Cassie pitched, but how did she do? Did her coach have to take her out after she gave up too many hits? Not until the end of the chapter is anything much said about the game, although I'm glad Cassie's team won. I think you should describe the game a bit better - it would add some excitement to your chapter.
Otherwise, I really enjoyed this chapter. Joe is clearly a gentleman, but somehow, I suspect he's about to get laid.
I caught a couple of unimportant nits:
Cassie's eyes widen [widened]. "You just made me an important person; a VIP."
"I know Mom's important to you, but me?" (This quote mark should come out) What happens if you and Mom break up?"
That picture you used made me think of Cassie before I read one word of this post - it's not perfect, but such things seldom are. It is durned good.
We'll be thinking about you when you have your operation.
Dave
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2010
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Barbara,
Who won the game? I'm sure Cassie pitched, but how did she do? Did her coach have to take her out after she gave up too many hits? Not until the end of the chapter is anything much said about the game, although I'm glad Cassie's team won. I think you should describe the game a bit better - it would add some excitement to your chapter.
Otherwise, I really enjoyed this chapter. Joe is clearly a gentleman, but somehow, I suspect he's about to get laid.
I caught a couple of unimportant nits:
Cassie's eyes widen [widened]. "You just made me an important person; a VIP."
"I know Mom's important to you, but me?" (This quote mark should come out) What happens if you and Mom break up?"
That picture you used made me think of Cassie before I read one word of this post - it's not perfect, but such things seldom are. It is durned good.
We'll be thinking about you when you have your operation.
Dave
Comment Written 29-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2010
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I honestly didn't think anybody would care about the game. I will make adjustments to that. Thank you for catching thoses areas.
Comment from RazberryBullet
Got a chuckle here: He stopped and removed his business card. Again, I'm coming to the aid of another pretty female. He stared at his right hand and wiggled his little finger. How do they do it? LOL!!!
Liked how Joe got rid of Marc--ooops!
Well done!
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2010
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Got a chuckle here: He stopped and removed his business card. Again, I'm coming to the aid of another pretty female. He stared at his right hand and wiggled his little finger. How do they do it? LOL!!!
Liked how Joe got rid of Marc--ooops!
Well done!
Comment Written 29-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2010
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Thank you for your kind reviw. Joe will meet Marc again.
Comment from cheyennewy
Hi Barbara,
You have the perfect ending to this chapter. I'm sorry Joe has to leave and can't help but worry about his safety...don't ask me why! As I have come to expect from you this chapter is well written and the characters become more real to me every time I read about them. Has your next surgery been scheduled? Be well....blessings, chey
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2010
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Hi Barbara,
You have the perfect ending to this chapter. I'm sorry Joe has to leave and can't help but worry about his safety...don't ask me why! As I have come to expect from you this chapter is well written and the characters become more real to me every time I read about them. Has your next surgery been scheduled? Be well....blessings, chey
Comment Written 29-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2010
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My next surgery is Sept 16th. The doctors are wanting it sooner, but can't find a free date. Thank you for you kind review.
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Thanks for letting me know...chey