Writings From the Heart
Viewing comments for Chapter 31 "the twilight of history and age,"A book of Poetry & Writing
110 total reviews
Comment from Yeti777
This is an interesting free verse form that has some rhyming and some tempo making for a unique form. The message is excellent, and your word choices are very good. Sean
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2011
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This is an interesting free verse form that has some rhyming and some tempo making for a unique form. The message is excellent, and your word choices are very good. Sean
Comment Written 11-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2011
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thank you
Comment from bowls
Good conversational tone which is appropriate as you are addressing a generation which is making its way through history. I like the last line which involves the narrator with the readers of his poem. Nicely done.
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2011
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Good conversational tone which is appropriate as you are addressing a generation which is making its way through history. I like the last line which involves the narrator with the readers of his poem. Nicely done.
Comment Written 11-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2011
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thank you
Comment from LC_Cooper
A very reflective poem. I liked the flow and cadence, and the rhymes were well placed - not jarring or obvious. I often ponder this topic - the passing of the torch through the ages. I wonder if my generation has made it better, or worse, for the next. Well done.
Have a good weekend.
LC Cooper
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2011
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A very reflective poem. I liked the flow and cadence, and the rhymes were well placed - not jarring or obvious. I often ponder this topic - the passing of the torch through the ages. I wonder if my generation has made it better, or worse, for the next. Well done.
Have a good weekend.
LC Cooper
Comment Written 11-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2011
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thank you L C
Comment from joannesnow
Beautifully written verse. Your words flow smoothly to present a message of the passing of the light from one generation to the next. Your sentiment is heartfelt. Your chosen art work adds depth to your already profound statement.
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2011
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Beautifully written verse. Your words flow smoothly to present a message of the passing of the light from one generation to the next. Your sentiment is heartfelt. Your chosen art work adds depth to your already profound statement.
Comment Written 11-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2011
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thank you for the review joanne
Comment from EarthenImage
The idea of handing responsibility to the next generation is a difficult topic. To lay such an impression in so few words is a task that you have accomplished, and it is not an easy one. Well done, and congratulations on the awards.
That being said I do think the title needs work. I don't care for it being put into the first line and in the title. If you have it as the title perhaps it can be taken from the first line? It does establish the time and gives us the setting. I also feel that the last few lines need to be looked at once more. Best wishes and thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2011
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The idea of handing responsibility to the next generation is a difficult topic. To lay such an impression in so few words is a task that you have accomplished, and it is not an easy one. Well done, and congratulations on the awards.
That being said I do think the title needs work. I don't care for it being put into the first line and in the title. If you have it as the title perhaps it can be taken from the first line? It does establish the time and gives us the setting. I also feel that the last few lines need to be looked at once more. Best wishes and thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 11-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2011
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thanks the message will be different for each reader
Comment from TheLovingMechanic
Excellent job. The road of life is a twisted one, and we all have to walk the path. Thank you for the great read. I enjoyed the final line the most. Determination is key to success.
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2011
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Excellent job. The road of life is a twisted one, and we all have to walk the path. Thank you for the great read. I enjoyed the final line the most. Determination is key to success.
Comment Written 11-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2011
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thank you for this Gary
Comment from IanC
This is a delightful poem. The message will be different for each reader. The content might be universal, but also individual. The last line is my favorite...
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2011
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This is a delightful poem. The message will be different for each reader. The content might be universal, but also individual. The last line is my favorite...
Comment Written 11-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2011
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thank you Ian
Comment from SkyBluePink
Simple, but so mind searching. I was pulled in by every word you wrote, and was became part of history, present time, and hopefully the future!
You did an outstanding of relating your thoughts with very few words, yet the impact on the mind is astounding!
This reads and flows well, and I thoroughly enjoyed my read. Thank you for reminding us what the past held, and about the events unfolding yet today.
I really liked how you put this all together!
Keep Writing!
:)
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2011
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Simple, but so mind searching. I was pulled in by every word you wrote, and was became part of history, present time, and hopefully the future!
You did an outstanding of relating your thoughts with very few words, yet the impact on the mind is astounding!
This reads and flows well, and I thoroughly enjoyed my read. Thank you for reminding us what the past held, and about the events unfolding yet today.
I really liked how you put this all together!
Keep Writing!
:)
Comment Written 11-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2011
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thank you Sky for your review
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You are so welcome. Well deserved my friend! Nan
Comment from mermaids
"A sea of dreams as fog rolls in" is a line that draws the reader in. You explore the passage of time and how evolution affects all of us. The poem gives a feeling of the circle of life, making room for the next generation.
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2011
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"A sea of dreams as fog rolls in" is a line that draws the reader in. You explore the passage of time and how evolution affects all of us. The poem gives a feeling of the circle of life, making room for the next generation.
Comment Written 11-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2011
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thank you mermaids for reading
Comment from JoAnna77
I find this a most interesting and thought provoking poem - the style is unique - but it works for me! I like the imagry of the 'sea of dreams' in the first line, and also love the ending:
' if our paths should perchance meet, well, perhaps we may travel together for a time...'
I like this poem so much that I have saved it to my bookcase - to enjoy reading again, and again.
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2011
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I find this a most interesting and thought provoking poem - the style is unique - but it works for me! I like the imagry of the 'sea of dreams' in the first line, and also love the ending:
' if our paths should perchance meet, well, perhaps we may travel together for a time...'
I like this poem so much that I have saved it to my bookcase - to enjoy reading again, and again.
Comment Written 11-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2011
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thank you joAnna Gary