Lonely Hearts Meet
Viewing comments for Chapter 12 "Part three Chapter four"Anna and her son escape from a man-made Hell.
75 total reviews
Comment from Keri353
Good background notes. I got a little lost in the beginning, but caught up. Abuse in any form is hard for everyone around it. You don't always know what to say or do other than just be there sometimes. You mentioned radiation burns, what type of cancer do you have (if I may ask)? I have been through the last 4 years with my sister and colon cancer. Not a fun adventure at all. My best to you and thanks for writing.
reply by the author on 22-May-2011
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Good background notes. I got a little lost in the beginning, but caught up. Abuse in any form is hard for everyone around it. You don't always know what to say or do other than just be there sometimes. You mentioned radiation burns, what type of cancer do you have (if I may ask)? I have been through the last 4 years with my sister and colon cancer. Not a fun adventure at all. My best to you and thanks for writing.
Comment Written 22-May-2011
reply by the author on 22-May-2011
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Breast cancer, I did chemo, then radiation. My breast cancer is more under my arm than my breast and my underarm is raw skin right now. My prayers go out to your sister. Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from missy98writer
Barbara,
chapter twelve was full of excitement. I'm like Troy wondering where Anna went. Did she run with her son? It was good to read about Troy and Paul in this chapter. I keep praying in your road to recovery. I found out the are in my groin and butt is Lymphadema. Not Bed sores like some had thought. I treat it like I do my legs with lotion and it helps the cracking and the itching, but I weep from that area and require frequent diaper changes to fight the discharge of Lymph fluid. I'm tiring to see a lymphadema specialist who knows about controlling my lymphadema with pumps instead of wrapping and what to do for the groin area. Leave it to my body to be one of those rare ones with lymphadema in their groin. I look forward to reading more chapters. I pray for you, my friend.
Melissa.
reply by the author on 22-May-2011
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Barbara,
chapter twelve was full of excitement. I'm like Troy wondering where Anna went. Did she run with her son? It was good to read about Troy and Paul in this chapter. I keep praying in your road to recovery. I found out the are in my groin and butt is Lymphadema. Not Bed sores like some had thought. I treat it like I do my legs with lotion and it helps the cracking and the itching, but I weep from that area and require frequent diaper changes to fight the discharge of Lymph fluid. I'm tiring to see a lymphadema specialist who knows about controlling my lymphadema with pumps instead of wrapping and what to do for the groin area. Leave it to my body to be one of those rare ones with lymphadema in their groin. I look forward to reading more chapters. I pray for you, my friend.
Melissa.
Comment Written 22-May-2011
reply by the author on 22-May-2011
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Thank you for the kind review and my prayers are coming your way.
Comment from Jonez08
I enjoyed this chapter, and I too am wondering about Anna, but knowing she probably has the baby that makes me feel better, I really like Paul in this chapter because of his maturity and wisdom, although Bobby could have provoked him to anger he remained level headed. Other than a few issues I listed below, I enjoyed and look forward to the next. Thanks for the radiation update! Be well.
A heavy(-)set nurse glanced
Her husband visited her earlier this morning."
(I'm not sure if his time there could be consituted as a visit... gave me a chuckle. lol)
The nurse gasped(.) (No comma since gasped is not a speech tag)
Her eyes widened as she realized Anna was missing. ("I don't know!")
--I didn't understand why she said this can you explain?
"Hello, to you too, Dad."
--I suggest: "Hello to you, too, Dad."
He bonded out of jail and Anna hasn't gotten around to posting a restraining order
--you may want to research this. To be bonded out, means he would have had an arraignment and at the arraignment, based on his charges, I'm sure he would have been ordered by the judge to stay away from her, especially since Anna was taken to the hospital and there's a child involved. Usually, they notify the victim of the person's release. There are a lot of legalities in this story so you will have to do research to make sure it's authentic
He attempted to hit her, but a nurse stopped him."
--again, why wasn't the police called. Also he showed back up there again, so he should have already been taken back to jail, this is questionable, in a real hospital they would immediately notify the authorities, especially with domestic violence and a child
Troy shoved his hands (in) his (pants') pockets
(into) (you don't really need an 's' here, i suggest (pant however if you want pants) no quote needed
Cassandra
reply by the author on 22-May-2011
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I enjoyed this chapter, and I too am wondering about Anna, but knowing she probably has the baby that makes me feel better, I really like Paul in this chapter because of his maturity and wisdom, although Bobby could have provoked him to anger he remained level headed. Other than a few issues I listed below, I enjoyed and look forward to the next. Thanks for the radiation update! Be well.
A heavy(-)set nurse glanced
Her husband visited her earlier this morning."
(I'm not sure if his time there could be consituted as a visit... gave me a chuckle. lol)
The nurse gasped(.) (No comma since gasped is not a speech tag)
Her eyes widened as she realized Anna was missing. ("I don't know!")
--I didn't understand why she said this can you explain?
"Hello, to you too, Dad."
--I suggest: "Hello to you, too, Dad."
He bonded out of jail and Anna hasn't gotten around to posting a restraining order
--you may want to research this. To be bonded out, means he would have had an arraignment and at the arraignment, based on his charges, I'm sure he would have been ordered by the judge to stay away from her, especially since Anna was taken to the hospital and there's a child involved. Usually, they notify the victim of the person's release. There are a lot of legalities in this story so you will have to do research to make sure it's authentic
He attempted to hit her, but a nurse stopped him."
--again, why wasn't the police called. Also he showed back up there again, so he should have already been taken back to jail, this is questionable, in a real hospital they would immediately notify the authorities, especially with domestic violence and a child
Troy shoved his hands (in) his (pants') pockets
(into) (you don't really need an 's' here, i suggest (pant however if you want pants) no quote needed
Cassandra
Comment Written 22-May-2011
reply by the author on 22-May-2011
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Until Anna presses charges, which she hasn't gotten around to, yet, Bobby can bond out of jail. I will correct those other areas. Thank you for the kind review.
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I thought he was arrested for domestic voilence. Any time you are arrested you are arraigned before bonding out and I'm sure the judge would have told him to stay away from Anna. If a person bonds out of jail that means he's already been seen by a judge and is now waiting for a court date. Anna can go to the courts and ask that the charges be dropped, but she's not required to presses any charges because the State is probably already pressing them, she would just have to cooperate. I'm very familiar with this process.
Comment from Belinda
Hi, Barbara, this is indeed exciting. You've narrated what's happening, and hint on what's not known by the father and son (what the nurse did to help Anna). I'll wait impatiently for the next chapter.
reply by the author on 22-May-2011
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Hi, Barbara, this is indeed exciting. You've narrated what's happening, and hint on what's not known by the father and son (what the nurse did to help Anna). I'll wait impatiently for the next chapter.
Comment Written 22-May-2011
reply by the author on 22-May-2011
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from dmjones
Hi Barbara, This chapter is excellent as usual. I think Anna did the smart thing by taking off but it's not necessarily the right thing.
One thing to check:
Mr. Keller may know how to contact her parents or at least (know)her maiden name or hometown
reply by the author on 22-May-2011
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Hi Barbara, This chapter is excellent as usual. I think Anna did the smart thing by taking off but it's not necessarily the right thing.
One thing to check:
Mr. Keller may know how to contact her parents or at least (know)her maiden name or hometown
Comment Written 22-May-2011
reply by the author on 22-May-2011
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I will correct that area. Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hi Barb, darn FS won't ley me give you s six
I definitely don't see anything to be changed with this chapter
I read your notes and looks like you have so much going on at the present
Will be thinking of you.
Love
Gert
reply by the author on 22-May-2011
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Hi Barb, darn FS won't ley me give you s six
I definitely don't see anything to be changed with this chapter
I read your notes and looks like you have so much going on at the present
Will be thinking of you.
Love
Gert
Comment Written 22-May-2011
reply by the author on 22-May-2011
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Thank you for your kind review. Just the thought is enough for me. Thank you.
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I'm glad you liked my review
Love
Gert
Comment from writerwish
This is coming along great. It is interesting how father thinks son is more involved than he is. Troy must have had relationships like this in past? I am looking forward to more.I have only one suggestion, where I got confused toward the end. When Paul and troy are talking about
returning book.
He didn't stay long?? Stay where. Maybe an explanation about Mr Keller in the hospital room would sound more coherent and realistic. Then follow up later with plan of how to talk to him.
Thanks for sharing. Glad your treatments are over. My son is coming for a visit soon and will then return to Afghanistan.
reply by the author on 22-May-2011
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This is coming along great. It is interesting how father thinks son is more involved than he is. Troy must have had relationships like this in past? I am looking forward to more.I have only one suggestion, where I got confused toward the end. When Paul and troy are talking about
returning book.
He didn't stay long?? Stay where. Maybe an explanation about Mr Keller in the hospital room would sound more coherent and realistic. Then follow up later with plan of how to talk to him.
Thanks for sharing. Glad your treatments are over. My son is coming for a visit soon and will then return to Afghanistan.
Comment Written 22-May-2011
reply by the author on 22-May-2011
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I am not sure Mr. Keller, Anna's boss would go to the hospital to visit Anna. Anna never told him she was there. She only said she needed a few days off. I will recheck that area. Thank you for the kind review.
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I'm sorry, I didn't make clear that the converstion held in hospial between Paul and Troy. I think he was on the phone, is where I might insert more info on mr. Keller
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written with good form and good flow, a great chapter you added to your book, i hope they find each other soon so troy can protect her from bobby....i'm glad your son is home from afghanistan, i will pray for his continued safety in his service to our country
reply by the author on 22-May-2011
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this is very well written with good form and good flow, a great chapter you added to your book, i hope they find each other soon so troy can protect her from bobby....i'm glad your son is home from afghanistan, i will pray for his continued safety in his service to our country
Comment Written 22-May-2011
reply by the author on 22-May-2011
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Thank you for your kind review and support.
Comment from Nanette Mary
Hullo Barbara ....
This is an interesting chapter in your book into which you have introduced the disappearance of Anna and her young son Michael. Troy now has the support of his father.
There are just a few small changes to suggest ...
* You have - I don't know where your son or your wife is for that matter. I suggest - I don't know where your son or your wife are, for that matter.
* You have - I visited with Anna for quite a while this morning. This would read more smoothly as - I visited Anna this morning and spent quite a while with her.
Your Notes at the end, including some rather startling statistics, are certainly thought-provoking. About your radium treatment, I am glad to know that it is over.
Love from ...... Nanette Mary.
reply by the author on 22-May-2011
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Hullo Barbara ....
This is an interesting chapter in your book into which you have introduced the disappearance of Anna and her young son Michael. Troy now has the support of his father.
There are just a few small changes to suggest ...
* You have - I don't know where your son or your wife is for that matter. I suggest - I don't know where your son or your wife are, for that matter.
* You have - I visited with Anna for quite a while this morning. This would read more smoothly as - I visited Anna this morning and spent quite a while with her.
Your Notes at the end, including some rather startling statistics, are certainly thought-provoking. About your radium treatment, I am glad to know that it is over.
Love from ...... Nanette Mary.
Comment Written 22-May-2011
reply by the author on 22-May-2011
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Thank you for your kind area. I will recheck those areas.
Comment from stanishmichelle
That restraining order would have made a difference. Bobby sems to have the upper hand now. The book Anna wanted is evidence she was thinking of divorce. I hope they find Anna soon. The suspense is building up again. Great story. I am pleased your treatment is going well, and your son is home. All the best to you. Michelle
reply by the author on 22-May-2011
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That restraining order would have made a difference. Bobby sems to have the upper hand now. The book Anna wanted is evidence she was thinking of divorce. I hope they find Anna soon. The suspense is building up again. Great story. I am pleased your treatment is going well, and your son is home. All the best to you. Michelle
Comment Written 22-May-2011
reply by the author on 22-May-2011
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Thank you for a kind review.