Lonely Hearts Meet
Viewing comments for Chapter 28 "Part one, Chapter 9"Anna and her son escape from a man-made Hell.
70 total reviews
Comment from cheyennewy
Hi Barbara,
I struggle doing as many reviews as I want to and I don't even work...well away from the home that is! This is a fine chapter and I am so happy for Anna. But I feel the other shoe will drop and hope Bobby doesn't cause trouble that can't be undone. I am always in awe of your writing skills. Well done....blessings, chey
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2011
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Hi Barbara,
I struggle doing as many reviews as I want to and I don't even work...well away from the home that is! This is a fine chapter and I am so happy for Anna. But I feel the other shoe will drop and hope Bobby doesn't cause trouble that can't be undone. I am always in awe of your writing skills. Well done....blessings, chey
Comment Written 21-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2011
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Juliette Chamberlain
I can understand Anna's mixed feelings despite the amount of help and support given by her friends.
I see this fear quite often in clients.
Fear of a violent partner can become so entrenched that it lingers for a long time after the relationship has ended.
You manage to convey this very well in this chapter.
Juliette
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2011
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I can understand Anna's mixed feelings despite the amount of help and support given by her friends.
I see this fear quite often in clients.
Fear of a violent partner can become so entrenched that it lingers for a long time after the relationship has ended.
You manage to convey this very well in this chapter.
Juliette
Comment Written 21-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2011
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Readywriter52
The situation is getting better for Anna. But she is still worried that Bobby will get her. She has dealt with Bobby for years so this fear will probably never go away. She thinks the situation is going too well and something bad must happen. It's a victim's frame of mind.
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2011
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The situation is getting better for Anna. But she is still worried that Bobby will get her. She has dealt with Bobby for years so this fear will probably never go away. She thinks the situation is going too well and something bad must happen. It's a victim's frame of mind.
Comment Written 21-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2011
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Thank you for your kind review and insight.
Comment from Helen Tan
Looks like Anna has a ready made family waiting for her in Paul, Betty and Troy but I'm sure it's not going to be an easy road. Child custody can turn out ugly for the couple and the child. I know from my experience of my parents' divorce. It's a good thing Michael is still young and will unlikely understand the custody battle.
Troy saw the concern written acrossed her face
... across her face
When Troy released Anna, she took Michael from the swing,
Consider - ...she lifted Michael from the swing,
"took" is a general verb, "lifted" paints a clearer picture.
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2011
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Looks like Anna has a ready made family waiting for her in Paul, Betty and Troy but I'm sure it's not going to be an easy road. Child custody can turn out ugly for the couple and the child. I know from my experience of my parents' divorce. It's a good thing Michael is still young and will unlikely understand the custody battle.
Troy saw the concern written acrossed her face
... across her face
When Troy released Anna, she took Michael from the swing,
Consider - ...she lifted Michael from the swing,
"took" is a general verb, "lifted" paints a clearer picture.
Comment Written 21-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2011
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I fixed that once, well, I will go back and fix across again. It's fixed again. Thank you for your eagle eye.
Comment from dportwood
barbara.wilkey,
Another chapter written with the quality your readers have come to expect. I hope all goes well for Anna and Michael. Well done.
Duane
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2011
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barbara.wilkey,
Another chapter written with the quality your readers have come to expect. I hope all goes well for Anna and Michael. Well done.
Duane
Comment Written 21-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2011
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Connie P
Betty and Paul are really getting attached to Michael. It looks as though they're getting attached to Anna also. Too bad she and Troy have to put things on hold, although I doubt they're on hold in their hearts.
Great chapter,
Connie
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2011
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Betty and Paul are really getting attached to Michael. It looks as though they're getting attached to Anna also. Too bad she and Troy have to put things on hold, although I doubt they're on hold in their hearts.
Great chapter,
Connie
Comment Written 21-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2011
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We shall see what happens next. I agree it's about time to get to the romance part of this novel. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Dave M
Barbara,
I couldn't find anything wrong with the font here. It looks good to me, like all your other posts.
I also enjoyed reading this chapter. Anna must certainly feel that she doesn't deserve the string of good luck she's getting. And Troy needs to control his emotions.
I found nothing to criticize, just one comment about flowers:
"Several minutes later, Troy bent and picked an 'Indian Blanket'." Many years ago, I lived in Texas. I think I remember this wildflower as an "Indian Paintbrush." One spring, the fields in Llano County were carpeted with these and bluebonnets.
Dave
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2011
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Barbara,
I couldn't find anything wrong with the font here. It looks good to me, like all your other posts.
I also enjoyed reading this chapter. Anna must certainly feel that she doesn't deserve the string of good luck she's getting. And Troy needs to control his emotions.
I found nothing to criticize, just one comment about flowers:
"Several minutes later, Troy bent and picked an 'Indian Blanket'." Many years ago, I lived in Texas. I think I remember this wildflower as an "Indian Paintbrush." One spring, the fields in Llano County were carpeted with these and bluebonnets.
Dave
Comment Written 21-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2011
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The Indian Paintbrush is a similar flower, but they are different. In an early post I used the Indian Blanket and had Troy tell a legend abou them. There is also an interesting legend about the Indian Painbrush. Thank you for your kind review. I do have the font fixed now. I should delete that comment from my notes.
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Barbara,
Thanks for setting me straight on the flowers.
Dave
Comment from Cumbrianlass
First of all, the font seems fine to me! This is another good chapter, Barbara. You explore and portray Anna's feelings and emotions very well. It is nice to see her getting so much support. Well done.
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2011
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First of all, the font seems fine to me! This is another good chapter, Barbara. You explore and portray Anna's feelings and emotions very well. It is nice to see her getting so much support. Well done.
Comment Written 21-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2011
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The font problem is fixed. I need to delete that from my notes. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from JW
This is a well written chapter that will make a great addition to your book. The scenes are very realistic. Yet, one wonders what may is going to happen next? JW
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2011
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This is a well written chapter that will make a great addition to your book. The scenes are very realistic. Yet, one wonders what may is going to happen next? JW
Comment Written 21-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2011
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I am glad people wonder what will happen next. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from bhogg
Barbara - I really do try and learn form folks on this site. I wish I could learn to pace my stories as well as you do. This is another great post. Of course, Anna's concern that things are too good to be true, looks like will rear it's ugly head. Regards, Bill
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2011
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Barbara - I really do try and learn form folks on this site. I wish I could learn to pace my stories as well as you do. This is another great post. Of course, Anna's concern that things are too good to be true, looks like will rear it's ugly head. Regards, Bill
Comment Written 21-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2011
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I actually struggle with pacing. I try to move the story along while establishing foreshadowing. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. Thank you for your kind review.