Lonely Hearts Meet
Viewing comments for Chapter 34 "Part one, Chapter 11"Anna and her son escape from a man-made Hell.
76 total reviews
Comment from axelbeariter
This was also one of your better chapters. My only question would be, if such things (mother-in-law kidnapping her son's child) really happen. It would seem that while this woman is nuts, according to what you have written earlier, she also has a house. Such an act could put her ownership in grave jeopardy. I'm not doubting your scenario, but to be realistic for most readers, you've got to present a believable reason for this attempt. P.S. I have faith that you are up to doing just that. Nice work.
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2011
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This was also one of your better chapters. My only question would be, if such things (mother-in-law kidnapping her son's child) really happen. It would seem that while this woman is nuts, according to what you have written earlier, she also has a house. Such an act could put her ownership in grave jeopardy. I'm not doubting your scenario, but to be realistic for most readers, you've got to present a believable reason for this attempt. P.S. I have faith that you are up to doing just that. Nice work.
Comment Written 02-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2011
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In the next post, it will become clearer what and how and why it happened. The child was not actually kidnapped, just an attempt and that's the way she wanted it. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Belinda
I knew it... I mean, last chapter was too good to be true. Now the drama begins, and you're so good at it. Thanks also for the very informative author notes.
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2011
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I knew it... I mean, last chapter was too good to be true. Now the drama begins, and you're so good at it. Thanks also for the very informative author notes.
Comment Written 02-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2011
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Karen Payton Holt
Another solid slice of this intriguing plot.
I like the way each post is very succinct, laden with feeling, and has emotional depth.
Looking forward to the next part.
For a mother to be constantly afraid for her child is a hell on earth, nothing can tear your thoughts away from it and it becomes a waking nightmare..you show us that, without the shouting and screaming, just the cold, hard, fear of it.
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2011
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Another solid slice of this intriguing plot.
I like the way each post is very succinct, laden with feeling, and has emotional depth.
Looking forward to the next part.
For a mother to be constantly afraid for her child is a hell on earth, nothing can tear your thoughts away from it and it becomes a waking nightmare..you show us that, without the shouting and screaming, just the cold, hard, fear of it.
Comment Written 02-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2011
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Mariea
Good morning Barbara. Another well written chapter that has no need of editing. Characters and dialogue still consistent and without clutter. I look forward to the next one.
Have a great day, hugs Mia
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2011
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Good morning Barbara. Another well written chapter that has no need of editing. Characters and dialogue still consistent and without clutter. I look forward to the next one.
Have a great day, hugs Mia
Comment Written 02-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2011
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hi Barb' No way can I find anything to even think about changing.
This chapter is so realistic.
I have a suspicion who attempted to kidnap Michael.
Gert
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2011
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Hi Barb' No way can I find anything to even think about changing.
This chapter is so realistic.
I have a suspicion who attempted to kidnap Michael.
Gert
Comment Written 02-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2011
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Thank you for the kind review and the continued support.
Comment from cheyennewy
Hi Barbara,
The fact that Anna felt something was wrong eve before the police came made me uneasy, as well. Bobby's mother is as crazy as her son. Poor Michael, he must be so scared. His little world has been turned upside down and now he has to deal with a person he doesn't even know. This is a fine chapter with just the right amount of suspense. Well done....blessings, chey
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2011
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Hi Barbara,
The fact that Anna felt something was wrong eve before the police came made me uneasy, as well. Bobby's mother is as crazy as her son. Poor Michael, he must be so scared. His little world has been turned upside down and now he has to deal with a person he doesn't even know. This is a fine chapter with just the right amount of suspense. Well done....blessings, chey
Comment Written 02-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2011
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Glasstruth
Solid story. The fear the women face, and the descripition, action throughout really made it an interesting read. Well written. Les
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2011
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Solid story. The fear the women face, and the descripition, action throughout really made it an interesting read. Well written. Les
Comment Written 02-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2011
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Beejay
I think this chapter as I read it, began to unfurl to show that it has all the ingredients for a classic. Well done. Brilliant
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2011
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I think this chapter as I read it, began to unfurl to show that it has all the ingredients for a classic. Well done. Brilliant
Comment Written 02-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2011
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Larrypic11
I enjoyed the concept and the story, but I do think a few changes might help in this chapter. The dialogue in the first paragraph comes across a bit forced. I don't think he would bbe taking about "releasing some of the tension." He would be jst as hyped as she. He might say something like, Let's go for a walk and get some fresh air." You could then describe the surroundings a bit that calm you down. The second impression was the kidnapping. I think you need to be more descriptive about how it was stopped. Have the police tell ore of a story about it. Just my mooughts. Be well and good luck as you continue. Larry
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2011
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I enjoyed the concept and the story, but I do think a few changes might help in this chapter. The dialogue in the first paragraph comes across a bit forced. I don't think he would bbe taking about "releasing some of the tension." He would be jst as hyped as she. He might say something like, Let's go for a walk and get some fresh air." You could then describe the surroundings a bit that calm you down. The second impression was the kidnapping. I think you need to be more descriptive about how it was stopped. Have the police tell ore of a story about it. Just my mooughts. Be well and good luck as you continue. Larry
Comment Written 02-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2011
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More descriptions about the kidnappign will be in the next post. My thoughts on the walk in the park is Paul is an older retired lawyer. I would think he would be very calm. I will rethink the walk in the park. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Janie King
There is truly so many "things/incidents? that these women reallt have to deal with, no wonder a cloud of fear hangs, so to say, over their head. This is well-written and reads smoothly. Great job. God bless.
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2011
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There is truly so many "things/incidents? that these women reallt have to deal with, no wonder a cloud of fear hangs, so to say, over their head. This is well-written and reads smoothly. Great job. God bless.
Comment Written 02-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2011
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Thank you for the kind review and support.