Lonely Hearts Meet
Viewing comments for Chapter 60 "part three, Chapter 18"Anna and her son escape from a man-made Hell.
75 total reviews
Comment from asheagold
Wow, what a horrific scene! The chapter was very well written,though.the dialogue and actions were very realistic. I felt like I was there in the room. The pacing was good also.
The only thing I would have liked to see was more narrative which would have helped with the characterizations and setting. Good job!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2012
   |
Wow, what a horrific scene! The chapter was very well written,though.the dialogue and actions were very realistic. I felt like I was there in the room. The pacing was good also.
The only thing I would have liked to see was more narrative which would have helped with the characterizations and setting. Good job!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 01-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2012
-
I do not write with a lot of narrative because that's telling. I prefer to show and use a lot of dialogue. I don't like reading a lot of descriptions so don't use them in my writing. It's a matter of perference. Thank you for your review.
Comment from RebelRose
Lordy, I hope someone intervenes before he kills her, but then, I know this story has a happy ending. Another great chapter. Good dialogue and the story flows along well.
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2012
|
Lordy, I hope someone intervenes before he kills her, but then, I know this story has a happy ending. Another great chapter. Good dialogue and the story flows along well.
Comment Written 01-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2012
-
Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Nanette Mary
Hullo Barbara ....
As I read through this relatively short chapter of your book, I couldn't help thinking that there will be some of your readers who can identify with this sort of treatment at the hands of selfish and half-crazed men who think nothing of injuring their wives.
From a writing point of view, there is nothing to suggest changing and I look forward to the next chapter.
Love from .... Nanette Mary.
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2012
|
Hullo Barbara ....
As I read through this relatively short chapter of your book, I couldn't help thinking that there will be some of your readers who can identify with this sort of treatment at the hands of selfish and half-crazed men who think nothing of injuring their wives.
From a writing point of view, there is nothing to suggest changing and I look forward to the next chapter.
Love from .... Nanette Mary.
Comment Written 01-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2012
-
Thank you for your kind review. I have had some reviewers mention this has hit very close to home.
Comment from WLHall
Oh man, what a mean bastard that Bobby is. You wrote this violent scene so well. I've never been is a situation like this, but close enough to violence, that it seemed realistic to me. You're doing a great job on this novel.
Oh, only spag is a misspelled word: "proped" , s/b "propped"
No biggy.
Wanda
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2012
|
Oh man, what a mean bastard that Bobby is. You wrote this violent scene so well. I've never been is a situation like this, but close enough to violence, that it seemed realistic to me. You're doing a great job on this novel.
Oh, only spag is a misspelled word: "proped" , s/b "propped"
No biggy.
Wanda
Comment Written 01-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2012
-
Thank you for catching that. I had edited that sentence and still didn't get it correct. I appreciate the kind review.
-
Your're welcome.
Comment from cheyennewy
Hi Barbara,
Don't apologize for the language as that is who Bobby is and you need to show his violent behavior. You have done an excellent job of telling this chapter. It is disturbing to say the least and I feel so sorry for Anna. I hope she finds a way to get out of the house before Bobby kills her. I wish I could give you the six stars this chapter deserves but site won't let me. Bravo! Blessings, chey
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2012
|
Hi Barbara,
Don't apologize for the language as that is who Bobby is and you need to show his violent behavior. You have done an excellent job of telling this chapter. It is disturbing to say the least and I feel so sorry for Anna. I hope she finds a way to get out of the house before Bobby kills her. I wish I could give you the six stars this chapter deserves but site won't let me. Bravo! Blessings, chey
Comment Written 01-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2012
-
Thank you for your kind review and encouraing words.
Comment from Janie King
Please don't let her get killed...I get too intense in reading even fiction stories and then when I know in the back of my mind this kind of thing happens it makes it worse. God bless.
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2012
|
Please don't let her get killed...I get too intense in reading even fiction stories and then when I know in the back of my mind this kind of thing happens it makes it worse. God bless.
Comment Written 01-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2012
-
Thank you for your kind review. Unfortunately it happens way too often.
Comment from Maureen's Pen
Exceptional write Barbara. It called to so much of my own inner emotions my heart was pounding.
I've been broken and bruised against a wall....this was penned with great depth that it floods with abusive reality.
Well done on this post my friend.
Maureen
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2012
 |
Exceptional write Barbara. It called to so much of my own inner emotions my heart was pounding.
I've been broken and bruised against a wall....this was penned with great depth that it floods with abusive reality.
Well done on this post my friend.
Maureen
Comment Written 01-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2012
-
Thank you for the kind review and the insight.
Comment from tinams
Unfortunately this is the first time I have read your work, but it is well written and its flow makes it a pleasure to read, although the subject matter hits a bit close to home :)
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2012
|
Unfortunately this is the first time I have read your work, but it is well written and its flow makes it a pleasure to read, although the subject matter hits a bit close to home :)
Comment Written 01-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2012
-
Thank you for the kind review. Abuse happens way too often.
Comment from ulster3
Hello, barbara.
This chapter shows Bobby's violent streak at the highest pitch ever. I have no idea how poor Anna can be saved. I even wonder if she will be saved. Great write.
Warmly, Rebecca
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2012
|
Hello, barbara.
This chapter shows Bobby's violent streak at the highest pitch ever. I have no idea how poor Anna can be saved. I even wonder if she will be saved. Great write.
Warmly, Rebecca
Comment Written 01-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2012
-
Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from gramalot8
Barbara, oh, man, this was a hard chapter to read. It is so sad to think that a man could do such things to a woman. I hope and pray that she doesn't have to suffer too much before Troy figures out how to save her.
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2012
|
Barbara, oh, man, this was a hard chapter to read. It is so sad to think that a man could do such things to a woman. I hope and pray that she doesn't have to suffer too much before Troy figures out how to save her.
Comment Written 01-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2012
-
Thank you for the kind review and insight.