Lonely Hearts Meet
Viewing comments for Chapter 72 "part one, Chapter 22"Anna and her son escape from a man-made Hell.
62 total reviews
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
How sad that her father is such a horses hind end. You would think after all she's been through he could show some good old biblical compassion. Well written as always!!! Debbie
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2012
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How sad that her father is such a horses hind end. You would think after all she's been through he could show some good old biblical compassion. Well written as always!!! Debbie
Comment Written 24-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from AprilShower
Oh, My! Where is their forgiveness? It seems to me that it takes two to get pregnant. Did the fellow she married and his family forget that he was as much at fault as her?
Her father certainly does not have unconditional love for his daughter. Just because she made a mistake doesn't mean she should have it thrown up to her for ever. She certainly has suffered. Their concern should be more for her,than her past mistakes. Her father is really mean. He is probably the reason she ended up with this horrible man. He wasn't a good influence for his daughter.
Well written, Barbara.
April
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2012
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Oh, My! Where is their forgiveness? It seems to me that it takes two to get pregnant. Did the fellow she married and his family forget that he was as much at fault as her?
Her father certainly does not have unconditional love for his daughter. Just because she made a mistake doesn't mean she should have it thrown up to her for ever. She certainly has suffered. Their concern should be more for her,than her past mistakes. Her father is really mean. He is probably the reason she ended up with this horrible man. He wasn't a good influence for his daughter.
Well written, Barbara.
April
Comment Written 24-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2012
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I think so too. Thank you for the kind review and insight.
Comment from Patrick G Cox
Hi Barbara,
It seems to me that 'Abner' is an abusive father in the sense that his absolutist views on 'sin' are causing his daughter enormous stress. I loathe that kind of 'Christianty' it is everything a 'Christian' is not supposed to be.
Good chapter, it would be nice to see her father get off his high horse and get a little Christian charity. Their 'Preacher/Pastor' 'Reverend' Jackson, needs a damned good thumping with his Bible as well. Frankly, I'd tell him what to do with his religion, publicly.
Patrick
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2012
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Hi Barbara,
It seems to me that 'Abner' is an abusive father in the sense that his absolutist views on 'sin' are causing his daughter enormous stress. I loathe that kind of 'Christianty' it is everything a 'Christian' is not supposed to be.
Good chapter, it would be nice to see her father get off his high horse and get a little Christian charity. Their 'Preacher/Pastor' 'Reverend' Jackson, needs a damned good thumping with his Bible as well. Frankly, I'd tell him what to do with his religion, publicly.
Patrick
Comment Written 24-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2012
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We'll see what happens. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Shirley McLain
Excellent chapter. It will be interesting to see what happens between Anna and her parents. The father is very judgmental, which could cause problems.
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2012
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Excellent chapter. It will be interesting to see what happens between Anna and her parents. The father is very judgmental, which could cause problems.
Comment Written 24-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2012
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WE'll see next week.
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We'll see next week. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Janie King
One of those holier than thou, self-righteous church attitudes...how many people have been hurt, even destroyed by such...God forgive them..we all make mistakes..she has paid for her's over and over..that baby is not a mistake...he is a gift from God...God bless.
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2012
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One of those holier than thou, self-righteous church attitudes...how many people have been hurt, even destroyed by such...God forgive them..we all make mistakes..she has paid for her's over and over..that baby is not a mistake...he is a gift from God...God bless.
Comment Written 24-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2012
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Oh so right. Thank you for the kind review and insight.
Comment from Nanette Mary
Hullo Barbara ....
All things, in this story, are now working towards a happy ending and I enjoyed this chapter in which there are just two small changes to recommend ...
* You have - He reached his hands out. This doesn't read well and I suggest - He reached out his hands.
* You have - Betty and Margaret stood in the door ...
I suggest - in the doorway. (They can't stand in the door.)
Love from ... Nanette Mary.
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2012
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Hullo Barbara ....
All things, in this story, are now working towards a happy ending and I enjoyed this chapter in which there are just two small changes to recommend ...
* You have - He reached his hands out. This doesn't read well and I suggest - He reached out his hands.
* You have - Betty and Margaret stood in the door ...
I suggest - in the doorway. (They can't stand in the door.)
Love from ... Nanette Mary.
Comment Written 24-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2012
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Thank you for the kind review and eagle eye.
Comment from purrfect tale
Dad is a real pain. No wonder Anna married the wrong guy. She was in a hurry to leave home. I like this new little sub-plot springing up with the parents.
I made a huge mistake and not only am I paying for it(,) Michael is too. - It these 2 sentences are left separate, the first one is just a fragment. HOWEVER - in dialogue that is ok, but I wanted to point it out in case you had missed it.
You're right(...) we over-protected you. - technically this calls for a semi-colon, but publishes frown on them in fiction, so I used the ellipse
The sound of heavy rainfall sounded - try to reword so you don't have sound and sounded in the same sentence.
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2012
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Dad is a real pain. No wonder Anna married the wrong guy. She was in a hurry to leave home. I like this new little sub-plot springing up with the parents.
I made a huge mistake and not only am I paying for it(,) Michael is too. - It these 2 sentences are left separate, the first one is just a fragment. HOWEVER - in dialogue that is ok, but I wanted to point it out in case you had missed it.
You're right(...) we over-protected you. - technically this calls for a semi-colon, but publishes frown on them in fiction, so I used the ellipse
The sound of heavy rainfall sounded - try to reword so you don't have sound and sounded in the same sentence.
Comment Written 24-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2012
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Thank you for your eagle eye. I appreciate the help. Troy met Anna's parents in an early chapter.
Comment from Gungalo
Well you managed to post even though you thought not and it is a very good point. Anna needs to move but not so sure she needs to go to her parents. It's so old fashioned. Well I await next time.
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2012
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Well you managed to post even though you thought not and it is a very good point. Anna needs to move but not so sure she needs to go to her parents. It's so old fashioned. Well I await next time.
Comment Written 24-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2012
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Thank you for the kind review. It's next week I may not be able to post.
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Ahhh okay.
Comment from Maureen's Pen
This is well penned Barbara. I wasn't expecting Ana's father to be so .....stubborn? A bit of an ass really as he's holding Ana accountable for her sin at the same time as sinning himself.
But well done, I actually got angry at her father and wanted to give him a good shake!
Thanks for sharing, no issues in this piece except stubborn male pride and need to be right all the time.
Maureen
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2012
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This is well penned Barbara. I wasn't expecting Ana's father to be so .....stubborn? A bit of an ass really as he's holding Ana accountable for her sin at the same time as sinning himself.
But well done, I actually got angry at her father and wanted to give him a good shake!
Thanks for sharing, no issues in this piece except stubborn male pride and need to be right all the time.
Maureen
Comment Written 24-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2012
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In an early chapter I introduced Anna's parent. They had refused to help Anna. Thank you for the kind review.
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Now that I think on it I came into the story after it had started:)
OOps:)
hugs
Maureen
Comment from Taurean Monkey
Hi Barbara, do you need this here: Abner, I hope the Texas['] weather isn't too hot for you.
I'm not sure. (The Texan weather). I was trying to compare it with another state: Florida weather/Florida's weather/Floridian weather.
This is another well written extract. I like how you've captured the 'about to say something deep but the characters are interrupted'. I love the awkwardness and everyone seems to be taciturn. Your writing flows really well and it's easy to follow the characters, warm regards, TM
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2012
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Hi Barbara, do you need this here: Abner, I hope the Texas['] weather isn't too hot for you.
I'm not sure. (The Texan weather). I was trying to compare it with another state: Florida weather/Florida's weather/Floridian weather.
This is another well written extract. I like how you've captured the 'about to say something deep but the characters are interrupted'. I love the awkwardness and everyone seems to be taciturn. Your writing flows really well and it's easy to follow the characters, warm regards, TM
Comment Written 24-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2012
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You have brought up a good point. I will check it out in my books. Thank you for the kind review.
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You're welcome, will you let me know (just out of interest), please? Thanks, TM