Writings From the Heart
Viewing comments for Chapter 32 "The Venus fly trap "A book of Poetry & Writing
91 total reviews
Comment from Jean Lutz
I am on the side of Adam. While he was tending the garden, Eve was eyeing forbidden fruit. Of course, being the mother of three sons, may have colored my vision.
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I am on the side of Adam. While he was tending the garden, Eve was eyeing forbidden fruit. Of course, being the mother of three sons, may have colored my vision.
Comment Written 17-Jun-2014
Comment from James Dooney
Yeh Yeh mate I must say that I do quite like this one indeed ! Your words and your pic once again do relate quite well together ! Good job !
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Yeh Yeh mate I must say that I do quite like this one indeed ! Your words and your pic once again do relate quite well together ! Good job !
Comment Written 17-Jun-2014
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
"The spring of summers came to be, when both agreed to wed,
And love was high for near a year till others moved her head" - I is always the same when we allow passion to rule as it is temporary and burns out quickly, but I guess the HOT flame is hard to resist. This is very nicely done and I thank you so much for sharing this with me.
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"The spring of summers came to be, when both agreed to wed,
And love was high for near a year till others moved her head" - I is always the same when we allow passion to rule as it is temporary and burns out quickly, but I guess the HOT flame is hard to resist. This is very nicely done and I thank you so much for sharing this with me.
Comment Written 17-Jun-2014
Comment from rjuselius
this is a fine piece of poetic art! better to have lost and lived than never loved at all:)
thank you for sharing!
rebekka x
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this is a fine piece of poetic art! better to have lost and lived than never loved at all:)
thank you for sharing!
rebekka x
Comment Written 17-Jun-2014
Comment from kiwijenny
I love this...had a problem with owe sprites.....did this mean our sprites?
I love the ending best....most blame Eve but Adam was culpable...
Well done...and congratulations on all time best status
God bless
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I love this...had a problem with owe sprites.....did this mean our sprites?
I love the ending best....most blame Eve but Adam was culpable...
Well done...and congratulations on all time best status
God bless
Comment Written 17-Jun-2014
Comment from Bryan G
Excellent. Your poem reminds me of a book I read called "Grifters". I enjoyed this tale of love gone awry. I hope you find true love.
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Excellent. Your poem reminds me of a book I read called "Grifters". I enjoyed this tale of love gone awry. I hope you find true love.
Comment Written 17-Jun-2014
Comment from elchupakabra
Owe sprites - not sure if this is the correct use of owe, as in to owe someone something, did you mean Oh?
to have her as his bride. - to have as his bride
Adam and Eve the apple - Adam, Eve and the apple
This piece was a huge step up from the last one I reviewed by you. First, there were much fewer SPAG(spelling, punctuation and grammar) mistakes throughout the write. I felt there was a sense of bitterness towards the end which was very appropriate to the write. This was much better. Great work, thanks for sharing.
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Owe sprites - not sure if this is the correct use of owe, as in to owe someone something, did you mean Oh?
to have her as his bride. - to have as his bride
Adam and Eve the apple - Adam, Eve and the apple
This piece was a huge step up from the last one I reviewed by you. First, there were much fewer SPAG(spelling, punctuation and grammar) mistakes throughout the write. I felt there was a sense of bitterness towards the end which was very appropriate to the write. This was much better. Great work, thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 17-Jun-2014
Comment from dragonpoet
A year is a short time for a marriage. I don't think she was really ready. By the words in the poem and the emotion expressed he loved her. It sounds like the break up was her fault not his. Unless he did nothing to change her ways. I think both of them failed each other.
Maybe the but in the second to last line should be moved to the last line so both lines end with a world ending in "L'. It would be almost a slant rhyme. So the rhyme scheme wouldn't be broken at the end.
The dark eyed girl in the picture next to the sign gives the idea that she is into short relationships not long term ones.
Keep writing
dragonpoet
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A year is a short time for a marriage. I don't think she was really ready. By the words in the poem and the emotion expressed he loved her. It sounds like the break up was her fault not his. Unless he did nothing to change her ways. I think both of them failed each other.
Maybe the but in the second to last line should be moved to the last line so both lines end with a world ending in "L'. It would be almost a slant rhyme. So the rhyme scheme wouldn't be broken at the end.
The dark eyed girl in the picture next to the sign gives the idea that she is into short relationships not long term ones.
Keep writing
dragonpoet
Comment Written 17-Jun-2014
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
A lovely poem in mixed rhyme and so convincingly worded that it rings like the truth - the measure of a good poem. I found it quite moving and the title is very good - very apt. A good poem and a good read. Regards Dorothy
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A lovely poem in mixed rhyme and so convincingly worded that it rings like the truth - the measure of a good poem. I found it quite moving and the title is very good - very apt. A good poem and a good read. Regards Dorothy
Comment Written 17-Jun-2014
Comment from fairy77
Well that was lovely and rhymed well. I felt it was very romantic and dear to your heart. Lovely poem and I enjoyed the read. Well done!beth fairy77.
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Well that was lovely and rhymed well. I felt it was very romantic and dear to your heart. Lovely poem and I enjoyed the read. Well done!beth fairy77.
Comment Written 17-Jun-2014