Reviews from

The Gobbledegooks

Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "Where's Rupert?"
Children's Fantasy Poems

53 total reviews 
Comment from NurseBarb
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Wish I could give seven stars. lol. I just really enjoyed this poem. It's so unique with impressive rhyming. It would be fun to read out loud to a child as the rhythm is spot on. Fantastic descriptions and everything is so appropriate with no forced rhyming. So very well done.

 Comment Written 27-Aug-2014


reply by the author on 29-Aug-2014
    Barb, thanks so much for the enthusiastic review and the 6+ stars.

    Can you imagine what a really creative illustrator would do with this story if it were published as a bedtime story?

    Steve
reply by NurseBarb on 29-Aug-2014
    You should pursue it.
Comment from krys123
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Steve;
I love your children's poem Very much however for what age would this be used for because of some of the words you use Our farm beyond a certain age group. One would have to explain and interpret each word that is used before and probably beyond the 8th grade level.
The imagery is very descriptive and expressive throughout your writing in is very lucid and luminous.
The rhythm is done so well that it flows smoothly throughout your writing in the rhyming which is neither forced nor labored also helps with the rhythmic flow.
Thank you so much for sharing and posting in May the Lord be with you always my friend.
Alex

 Comment Written 27-Aug-2014


reply by the author on 29-Aug-2014
    Thanks, Alex.

    I appreciate your point about reading age. However, I am firmly of the belief that children don't like to be read down to - I never over-simplify. I am sure if you tested this poem on young children they would enjoy the rhythm and the fun and the story and it wouldn't matter if they didn't understand some of the specific words.

    It is also good to enrich their vocabulary.

    Anyway, it has been enjoyed by all the big FanStory children - perhaps you are right that I really wrote it for adults to enjoy first!

    Steve
reply by krys123 on 29-Aug-2014
    Of course the rhythm and rhyming are excellent maybe I was just thinking out of my head.
    Alex
Comment from adewpearl
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

solid rhyming couplets
great use of alliteration in fun abundance
I like the vocabulary words you're not afraid to include - I get so frustrated when reviewers tell me this word or that is too "old" for kids - when I was a kid that is how I learned new words - looking them up when I found new ones to my delight, and I love old time words like bamboozled
I thoroughly enjoyed this story and its feel good ending - obviously it will make children smile :-) Brooke

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 Comment Written 27-Aug-2014


reply by the author on 29-Aug-2014
    Thanks, Brooke.

    I have just been making that argument to a couple of reviewers - I should have just cut and pasted your words...

    Looks like a 3-way tussle between you, Mikey and me in the booth. Perhaps we need to get started contacting our cabals...

    Steve
reply by adewpearl on 29-Aug-2014
    I wonder if anyone really does that. I've never told anyone to go vote or even mentioned to anyone the vote was underway, in six years. And nobody has ever asked me to. Why don't I get invited to the party?? Not one single person wants me to be a co-conspirator?? Frankly, I'm insulted. ;-)
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2014
    Too late to say I'll vote for yours if you vote for mine.... where would that get us.

    Like you I've never seen any convincing evidence. I don't believe in Big Foot, UFOs or the Loch Ness Monster either, but we have a couple of wonderful conspiracy theorists on the site at the moment, if I could only understand one word of what they're on about! :O)
reply by adewpearl on 29-Aug-2014
    LOL :-)
    Years ago I actually had Judian James THINK I was soliciting votes when I creamed her in a poem of the month contest. Heck, she came in fourth place. Not my fault that the site put up a somber poem of hers that was about a graveyard. She actually muted me, and muted I stayed until she finally packed up her marbles and left the site in a huff. LOL
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2014
    Well, you certainly have the edge on most in terms of number of fans, which you would think might make a difference, but as you know, the votes for any one piece rarely get to 20...