Writings From the Heart
Viewing comments for Chapter 13 "old cowboys"A book of Poetry & Writing
65 total reviews
Comment from Catherin Elizabet Belle
The choice of line breaks keep the reader moving easily to the next line. The lack of rhyme in the third verse is slightly distracting. Verse 2 and 4 echo the loneliness of a cowboy's life; and could be repeated as a chorus of a song. You might consider writing other verses like 1 and 3 to create a song about the Cowboy. It certainly has great potential. I love the western theme. You have handled the story well.
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reply by the author on 11-May-2010
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The choice of line breaks keep the reader moving easily to the next line. The lack of rhyme in the third verse is slightly distracting. Verse 2 and 4 echo the loneliness of a cowboy's life; and could be repeated as a chorus of a song. You might consider writing other verses like 1 and 3 to create a song about the Cowboy. It certainly has great potential. I love the western theme. You have handled the story well.
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Comment Written 11-May-2010
reply by the author on 11-May-2010
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thanks old
Comment from Ponder
Hi Deepwater,
I thought this one was very much like a song, the repetition was very effective to get the message of regret and loss across to the reader. It was a sad read, but unfortunately not a unique tale of woe.
Jules
reply by the author on 11-May-2010
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Hi Deepwater,
I thought this one was very much like a song, the repetition was very effective to get the message of regret and loss across to the reader. It was a sad read, but unfortunately not a unique tale of woe.
Jules
Comment Written 11-May-2010
reply by the author on 11-May-2010
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thanks for reading Jules
Comment from Valkarie
I like this because...It flows so well and in my mind I think this could be a song the way you've set it out you may have written it for that purpose? A concise and intriguing write that flows well and is very creative and concise in merit.
Valkarie...
reply by the author on 11-May-2010
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I like this because...It flows so well and in my mind I think this could be a song the way you've set it out you may have written it for that purpose? A concise and intriguing write that flows well and is very creative and concise in merit.
Valkarie...
Comment Written 11-May-2010
reply by the author on 11-May-2010
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thank you valkarie
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No problem it was a good piece.
V...
Comment from Ann Smith
It's sad when you have to chose in life between two things you love. Either way it is going to leave a hole. I like the repetition in the poem because it is plesing to the ear and feels comfortable, like riding in the saddle on a horse. The word love has a typo in the second stanza. ann
reply by the author on 11-May-2010
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It's sad when you have to chose in life between two things you love. Either way it is going to leave a hole. I like the repetition in the poem because it is plesing to the ear and feels comfortable, like riding in the saddle on a horse. The word love has a typo in the second stanza. ann
Comment Written 11-May-2010
reply by the author on 11-May-2010
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thanks ann will make the change
Comment from InHisownwrite
I relate so much to this, and I like it alot...
I too was ten years older than my wife... At first that was fine, but as the years progressed it was a problem..
You put it very well, as you always do...
two different worlds.... different needs.... Great piece!
Bryan
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reply by the author on 11-May-2010
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I relate so much to this, and I like it alot...
I too was ten years older than my wife... At first that was fine, but as the years progressed it was a problem..
You put it very well, as you always do...
two different worlds.... different needs.... Great piece!
Bryan
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-May-2010
reply by the author on 11-May-2010
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thank you inHisownwrite, i was 18 years older