Another Pretty Face
Viewing comments for Chapter 10 "Chapter 4 part two"Can love survive small town gossip?
78 total reviews
Comment from bowls
Another beautifully tender and sweet episode. I thoroughly enjoyed it. You're still taking your time with the developing relationship. I love the way you don't rush anything but develop your plot in accordance with the personalities of the main characters, who are not impulsive people at this time in their lives. In addition to dialogue, you've included Sara's thoughts, which give us further insight into her feelings. Note a typo: spread the blanket ONG the grass. Also in the last line: I'm not GOINOG TO BREAK YOU HEART. Looking forward to the next episode!
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2010
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Another beautifully tender and sweet episode. I thoroughly enjoyed it. You're still taking your time with the developing relationship. I love the way you don't rush anything but develop your plot in accordance with the personalities of the main characters, who are not impulsive people at this time in their lives. In addition to dialogue, you've included Sara's thoughts, which give us further insight into her feelings. Note a typo: spread the blanket ONG the grass. Also in the last line: I'm not GOINOG TO BREAK YOU HEART. Looking forward to the next episode!
Comment Written 04-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2010
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Thank you for catching those errors. I have corrected them. I appreciate your review.
Comment from Mirandawrites
This is an enjoyable story, the image completely complements the story. I think you have a good material for a novel. Keep on working on it. I like the characters so far, and they can be further developed to make them more interesting. Just a small typo I noticed: (last line) 'I'm not goinog to break you heart'.
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2010
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This is an enjoyable story, the image completely complements the story. I think you have a good material for a novel. Keep on working on it. I like the characters so far, and they can be further developed to make them more interesting. Just a small typo I noticed: (last line) 'I'm not goinog to break you heart'.
Comment Written 04-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2010
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I have taken care of the typo. Thank you for your kind words.
Comment from bookishfabler
Goly girlfreind, I wantto give you five, but I want this to be terrific. The story is sweet. I love the relationship blosoming. The rating, is to fix boo boos. Oh, heck, I'll give you five, knowing you will fix them anyway. Shh! don't tell anyone. Love the story.
He spread the blanket on(g) the grass and sat.
As I read this line, I think the comma is displaced.
"Look(,) there's a barge(-,) coming this way."
My personal opinion here-"I was; no sex or alcohol. (perios instead of semi-colon)
After passing those (the) photos, he stopped.
A loud sigh, escaped her lips. (no comma)
"I'm not goinog (going) to break you('re) heart.
hugs
Heidi
PS. Nearly forgot to mention. I found this on a gaget I have in IGoogle. Do you want this out for the whole public, without it being published? Talk to me in my message.
hugs
book
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2010
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Goly girlfreind, I wantto give you five, but I want this to be terrific. The story is sweet. I love the relationship blosoming. The rating, is to fix boo boos. Oh, heck, I'll give you five, knowing you will fix them anyway. Shh! don't tell anyone. Love the story.
He spread the blanket on(g) the grass and sat.
As I read this line, I think the comma is displaced.
"Look(,) there's a barge(-,) coming this way."
My personal opinion here-"I was; no sex or alcohol. (perios instead of semi-colon)
After passing those (the) photos, he stopped.
A loud sigh, escaped her lips. (no comma)
"I'm not goinog (going) to break you('re) heart.
hugs
Heidi
PS. Nearly forgot to mention. I found this on a gaget I have in IGoogle. Do you want this out for the whole public, without it being published? Talk to me in my message.
hugs
book
Comment Written 04-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2010
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I will check your message and fix the errors. I have already fixed a couple of them from reviewers. It's always a pleasure to hear from you.
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written with good form, good flow, another good chapter from you, i enjoyed reading as usual and i am looking forward to more whn you are feeling better, i pray all goes well with your other tests and you rest up to regain your strength
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2010
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this is very well written with good form, good flow, another good chapter from you, i enjoyed reading as usual and i am looking forward to more whn you are feeling better, i pray all goes well with your other tests and you rest up to regain your strength
Comment Written 03-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2010
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Thank you for your well wishes. I am quickly learning that I am getting older and don't heal as fast as I did years ago. I appreciate your review.
Comment from gramalot8
Barbara, hope you are feeling better and better every day. I love this story, as I've said before. I love the teachings that Joe received from his roommate, Matt, about honoring women. I feel it in my gut that Sara has nothing to fear from Joe. Get better and keep writing.
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2010
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Barbara, hope you are feeling better and better every day. I love this story, as I've said before. I love the teachings that Joe received from his roommate, Matt, about honoring women. I feel it in my gut that Sara has nothing to fear from Joe. Get better and keep writing.
Comment Written 03-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2010
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Thank you for your kind review and well wishes. I need to learn to listen to my body.
Comment from Nanashirley
The chapter is good. There are not enough good guys. I like the way you are taking time to build the relationship. I found no editing needed.
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2010
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The chapter is good. There are not enough good guys. I like the way you are taking time to build the relationship. I found no editing needed.
Comment Written 03-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2010
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Thank you for your kind review and continued support.
Comment from L.lora
typos=
"He spread the blanket [ong] the grass and sat"
"I'm not [goinog] to break you heart."
Nice portrayal of inter-relating
between Joe and Sara. Comfortable
easy dialogue along with equally
discriptive narratives. You have
a good flow that moves the reader
through your passages smoothly.
A most enjoyable read...Lora
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2010
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typos=
"He spread the blanket [ong] the grass and sat"
"I'm not [goinog] to break you heart."
Nice portrayal of inter-relating
between Joe and Sara. Comfortable
easy dialogue along with equally
discriptive narratives. You have
a good flow that moves the reader
through your passages smoothly.
A most enjoyable read...Lora
Comment Written 03-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2010
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Thank you for your kind review. I have corrected those erros. I appreciate your support.
Comment from Rama Rao
An excellent chapter showing romance in your special way. The dialogue is equally brilliant. Joe comes across as a perfect gentleman. He is, after all, a one star general to be soon.
What is more important is it is good to see your post here despite your problem. It shows your indomitable will, and I wish you well.
I liked the expression 'used his fingers to highlight confessed', but I'm finding it difficult to visualise how he had moved them.
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2010
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An excellent chapter showing romance in your special way. The dialogue is equally brilliant. Joe comes across as a perfect gentleman. He is, after all, a one star general to be soon.
What is more important is it is good to see your post here despite your problem. It shows your indomitable will, and I wish you well.
I liked the expression 'used his fingers to highlight confessed', but I'm finding it difficult to visualise how he had moved them.
Comment Written 03-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2010
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HUMMM, that maybe an American custom. As he said the word he moved his two pointer fingers up and down. Thank you for your kind review and well wishes.
Comment from fictionwriter
this was a beautiful scene. Not many men anymore worry about being gentlemen, and it's refreshing to read it in a story also. great job. PS. hope you're doing well.
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2010
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this was a beautiful scene. Not many men anymore worry about being gentlemen, and it's refreshing to read it in a story also. great job. PS. hope you're doing well.
Comment Written 03-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2010
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Thank you for your kind review. I have a problem with trying to do too much. I am failing at staying down.
Comment from LadyWave
You continue to do a great job with the romance and setting the right mood. I'm glad we got to see a glimpse into Joe's past. I'm so curious what will happen when he leaves!
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2010
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You continue to do a great job with the romance and setting the right mood. I'm glad we got to see a glimpse into Joe's past. I'm so curious what will happen when he leaves!
Comment Written 03-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2010
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I am interested to see what happens too, or I should say if what I have planned will work. Thank you for your kind review.
