Pumpkin Fate
Bad things happen to bad people.67 total reviews
Comment from apelle
Fantastic writing! This is what I call "mastery"
Remarkable flow of the story and characters. your style and voice is so unique, as your writing engages the reader in its tantalizing web.
Adina
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2010
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Fantastic writing! This is what I call "mastery"
Remarkable flow of the story and characters. your style and voice is so unique, as your writing engages the reader in its tantalizing web.
Adina
Comment Written 26-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2010
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Thanks so much, Apelle. You make my daywith the gorgeous sixer! And your comments are so uplifting....
Comment from Mrs Jones
Tommy brought me home 'cause I was too drunk to drink. My truck's still parked at The Moon." Drive - I think.
The kid spends the night at whats-his-face's place all the time anymore - do you mean anyway?
If I had a six I would give it to you for this well written (and very original) Halloween story. The character descriptions are excellent.
A great write.
Cheers
Rose
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2010
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Tommy brought me home 'cause I was too drunk to drink. My truck's still parked at The Moon." Drive - I think.
The kid spends the night at whats-his-face's place all the time anymore - do you mean anyway?
If I had a six I would give it to you for this well written (and very original) Halloween story. The character descriptions are excellent.
A great write.
Cheers
Rose
Comment Written 26-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2010
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Nope...too drunk to drink, Rosie....Think about it.....LOL..Thanks so much Rosie. I hope that line is okay...Now, I'm worried....LOL...Thanks so much, Rosie....
Comment from Gungalo
Wow Bob!!! Now this is a great write for this season. YOur words carry so much weight around this story but yet are light and airy to be understood by all readers!!!
He wouldn't know that his temper had jarred one of the lighted pumpkins. It fell-- tumbled to the floor, and it's candle bounced out onto the floor-length curtains.
Great imagery here you!!!
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2010
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Wow Bob!!! Now this is a great write for this season. YOur words carry so much weight around this story but yet are light and airy to be understood by all readers!!!
He wouldn't know that his temper had jarred one of the lighted pumpkins. It fell-- tumbled to the floor, and it's candle bounced out onto the floor-length curtains.
Great imagery here you!!!
Comment Written 25-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2010
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Thanks so much, you! LOL You are not supposed to know it's me, silly. this is a blind contest. LOL...Oh, well..Pumpkin's out of the field now. Thanks so very much.
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Hmmmm how did I know? Bob who? LOLOL.
Comment from keimosobie
'cause I was too drunk to drink. My truck's still parked at The Moon." Should that be drive or did you do that on purpose?
Very good story. The description of the neighborhood and the trailor and the characters were awesome. The end a little predictable. very good story and well writen. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2010
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'cause I was too drunk to drink. My truck's still parked at The Moon." Should that be drive or did you do that on purpose?
Very good story. The description of the neighborhood and the trailor and the characters were awesome. The end a little predictable. very good story and well writen. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 25-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2010
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Thanks, Kemosabie. Yeah, I did that on purpose...It's like..."Take me drunk bartender, I'm home." Yeah, the ending was a bit predictable but what the hey....it was fun to read wasn't it? hope so....Bob
Comment from chells36
He was so vindictive that if he had a family crest, it would say, "I will cut off my nose to spite my face," and emblazoned on the crest would be the profile of a man without a nose
What a fine paragraph just brilliant stuff
The pace is fast and upbeat
the characters are well voiced and lively
The plot is a very strong and interesting one
Well done
the flow is good
nice work thanks xx
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2010
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He was so vindictive that if he had a family crest, it would say, "I will cut off my nose to spite my face," and emblazoned on the crest would be the profile of a man without a nose
What a fine paragraph just brilliant stuff
The pace is fast and upbeat
the characters are well voiced and lively
The plot is a very strong and interesting one
Well done
the flow is good
nice work thanks xx
Comment Written 25-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2010
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Well, thanks so much, Chells. I appreciate your candor and our review.
Comment from whitteron
I like the style of your writing, but think it would be much stronger in an active voice format.
It's a very good story...sounds like it could be personal, and all of the necessary emotions are there.
Nice work.
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2010
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I like the style of your writing, but think it would be much stronger in an active voice format.
It's a very good story...sounds like it could be personal, and all of the necessary emotions are there.
Nice work.
Comment Written 25-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2010
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Hi, whitteron. Welcome aboard Fanstory. I would love to follow your work also, but would like to know maor eabout you? For instance your name, male or female, your preferences, favorite writers etc. I will be close by when you start posting and thanks so much for your fine reiview.
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Hi, whitteron. Welcome aboard Fanstory. I would love to follow your work also, but would like to know maor eabout you? For instance your name, male or female, your preferences, favorite writers etc. I will be close by when you start posting and thanks so much for your fine reiview.
Comment from Wolfwind
You present a very nice picture with your use of adjectives. You bring the whole scene vividly to lofe in my mind. I enjoyed your story immensely. It's too bad there are so many miserable people in the world. Good job. I look forward to reading more from you in the future.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2010
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You present a very nice picture with your use of adjectives. You bring the whole scene vividly to lofe in my mind. I enjoyed your story immensely. It's too bad there are so many miserable people in the world. Good job. I look forward to reading more from you in the future.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 25-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2010
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Ooooh. I would hope I have not been overdoing adjectives, Wolfwind....you mean descriptions? (a slight difference, right) Thanks so much for your time and your review. I appreciate it...