Lonely Hearts Meet
Viewing comments for Chapter 13 "Part four Chapter four"Anna and her son escape from a man-made Hell.
81 total reviews
Comment from 7thpoet
I am sorry but I just joined in to this exciting story and am hooked! I don't quite get the battered woman thing just yet but I am to assume that Anna is the subject and Troy is a guy out to help, I guess. Please continue.
reply by the author on 29-May-2011
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I am sorry but I just joined in to this exciting story and am hooked! I don't quite get the battered woman thing just yet but I am to assume that Anna is the subject and Troy is a guy out to help, I guess. Please continue.
Comment Written 29-May-2011
reply by the author on 29-May-2011
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Yes, Anna was badly beaten by her husband. She has an infant son. Troy met her briefly and his mother was murdered by his stepfather. He is set out to protect Anna. Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Mary Ann MCPhedran
A GOOD WRITE with imagery and has a good story line The descriptive script keeps the reader interested and holds it and want to read more. A joy to read. Mary
reply by the author on 29-May-2011
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A GOOD WRITE with imagery and has a good story line The descriptive script keeps the reader interested and holds it and want to read more. A joy to read. Mary
Comment Written 29-May-2011
reply by the author on 29-May-2011
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from lola29
I'm very impressed that Anna removed herself and her son from Bobby. To me that shows great strengh and courage. I'm glad Troy is going to to search for her and I hope he finds her before Bobby does.
reply by the author on 29-May-2011
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I'm very impressed that Anna removed herself and her son from Bobby. To me that shows great strengh and courage. I'm glad Troy is going to to search for her and I hope he finds her before Bobby does.
Comment Written 29-May-2011
reply by the author on 29-May-2011
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So do I. I appreciate yoru kind review and continued support.
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written, barbara, a great job writing this chapter in your book, trying to find anna before something happens to her, i wrote a poem called The Daisy Path i would like you to read
reply by the author on 29-May-2011
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this is very well written, barbara, a great job writing this chapter in your book, trying to find anna before something happens to her, i wrote a poem called The Daisy Path i would like you to read
Comment Written 29-May-2011
reply by the author on 29-May-2011
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I will look for it and read it. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Nanette Mary
Hullo Barbara ....
I enjoyed this chapter of your book in which Troy cleverly finds out what he wants to know - about the home-town of his friend Anna and even the name of her parents.
There is just one small change to suggest ...
* You have - It's a different lifestyle than we have in the city. When using the word 'different' it must always be 'different from' and never 'different to' or 'different than.' For your sentence, I suggest - It's a different lifestyle from that which we have in the city.
Now, I look forward to the next chapter. Congratulations on your remarkable track-record, despite all the treatment you were undergoing. You are, indeed, a courageous woman.
Love from ....... Nanette Mary.
reply by the author on 29-May-2011
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Hullo Barbara ....
I enjoyed this chapter of your book in which Troy cleverly finds out what he wants to know - about the home-town of his friend Anna and even the name of her parents.
There is just one small change to suggest ...
* You have - It's a different lifestyle than we have in the city. When using the word 'different' it must always be 'different from' and never 'different to' or 'different than.' For your sentence, I suggest - It's a different lifestyle from that which we have in the city.
Now, I look forward to the next chapter. Congratulations on your remarkable track-record, despite all the treatment you were undergoing. You are, indeed, a courageous woman.
Love from ....... Nanette Mary.
Comment Written 29-May-2011
reply by the author on 29-May-2011
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I made the change, but I'm wondering if since it's dialogue, I couldn't get by with it. We shall see. I am not sure it sounds like natural speech with the change. Oh well, thank you for the kind review.
Comment from bookishfabler
Another short and sweet chapter.
and walked up to the reception desk where a mid-twenties year old attractive woman sat (sounds awkward, how about an attractive woman in her mid-twenties?
Hope this is helpful. that's all I saw.
hugs
Heidi
reply by the author on 29-May-2011
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Another short and sweet chapter.
and walked up to the reception desk where a mid-twenties year old attractive woman sat (sounds awkward, how about an attractive woman in her mid-twenties?
Hope this is helpful. that's all I saw.
hugs
Heidi
Comment Written 29-May-2011
reply by the author on 29-May-2011
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I liked your suggestion and made the change. Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from kiwisteveh
Congrats on making it through the school year - tough enough , I can tell you, without having to battle illness as well.
I enjoyed this snippet of your story as usual. I found this phrase a little clumsy. Perhaps you could re-phrase it (or omit it as you describe her later anyway...)
a mid-twenties year old attractive woman sat.
reply by the author on 29-May-2011
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Congrats on making it through the school year - tough enough , I can tell you, without having to battle illness as well.
I enjoyed this snippet of your story as usual. I found this phrase a little clumsy. Perhaps you could re-phrase it (or omit it as you describe her later anyway...)
a mid-twenties year old attractive woman sat.
Comment Written 29-May-2011
reply by the author on 29-May-2011
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I have corrected that area. Someone else pointed it. You're both right, it didn't read right. Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from writerwish
Very good chapter piece. Reads so easy and makes me want to know more. I have been reading along. I appreciate your author notes because many do not know how a shelter works or that they deserve this help.
reply by the author on 29-May-2011
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Very good chapter piece. Reads so easy and makes me want to know more. I have been reading along. I appreciate your author notes because many do not know how a shelter works or that they deserve this help.
Comment Written 29-May-2011
reply by the author on 29-May-2011
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Thank you for the kind review and encouraging words.
Comment from sgalletti
Hi Barbara! Short, savvy and suspenseful. Stood alone. Well written. Congratulations on being well, on surviving despite all that life has given you, and for promoting supports for abused women. Hugs, Sue
reply by the author on 29-May-2011
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Hi Barbara! Short, savvy and suspenseful. Stood alone. Well written. Congratulations on being well, on surviving despite all that life has given you, and for promoting supports for abused women. Hugs, Sue
Comment Written 29-May-2011
reply by the author on 29-May-2011
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Thank you for your kind review and support. I appreciate both.
Comment from JW
Isn't this the interesting chapter. Could she have actually done what she said she would not do?
This chapter is well written and will make an excellent addition to your story.
reply by the author on 29-May-2011
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Isn't this the interesting chapter. Could she have actually done what she said she would not do?
This chapter is well written and will make an excellent addition to your story.
Comment Written 29-May-2011
reply by the author on 29-May-2011
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Thank you for the kind review.