Lonely Hearts Meet
Viewing comments for Chapter 43 "Part 4, Chapter 13"Anna and her son escape from a man-made Hell.
77 total reviews
Comment from Janie King
Why other people want such control of another's life. I just posted a piece "Sweet Dreams" where the mother was so abused as a child she was even a afraid to have children fearing she would be like her mother and step-father,,they beat and he molested her until she was twelve..they continued to beat her until s she was 16. She wrote a note to a friend telling her what was going on and that she was running away. She had forgotten the note Monday morning and her step-father picked her up at school, told her she wouldn't tell her mother about the note but after dinner she was going to call her dad and tell him she wanted to live with him or he would kill her..she had nearly choked her to death several times so she knew it wasn't an idol threat..she had been kept away from her dad pretty much but her told her she could and she got out..the man that is James father fostered her taking an overdose and nearly killing herself...she's been in church about six month and her life has so changed..she even gets more excited about the things that God does for her little boy to removed tormenting things from his life than she does over her victories. It's a real story..very sad but there is victory now being found. She moved out of state so she doesn't even have to take the chance or running into them. Her remaining torment is she has an 11 yr old brother and 8 yr old sister that's still in the house with them and she can't get them any help. She's called the police and reported she saw him choke her sister when she was four but they didn't do anything..the child is now 8 and still in that situation. Keep her in prayer that some answer can be found to get them out of this situation. Good chapter..just reinforced the horror of being trapped by these kind of demon possessed people. God bless.
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2011
  |
Why other people want such control of another's life. I just posted a piece "Sweet Dreams" where the mother was so abused as a child she was even a afraid to have children fearing she would be like her mother and step-father,,they beat and he molested her until she was twelve..they continued to beat her until s she was 16. She wrote a note to a friend telling her what was going on and that she was running away. She had forgotten the note Monday morning and her step-father picked her up at school, told her she wouldn't tell her mother about the note but after dinner she was going to call her dad and tell him she wanted to live with him or he would kill her..she had nearly choked her to death several times so she knew it wasn't an idol threat..she had been kept away from her dad pretty much but her told her she could and she got out..the man that is James father fostered her taking an overdose and nearly killing herself...she's been in church about six month and her life has so changed..she even gets more excited about the things that God does for her little boy to removed tormenting things from his life than she does over her victories. It's a real story..very sad but there is victory now being found. She moved out of state so she doesn't even have to take the chance or running into them. Her remaining torment is she has an 11 yr old brother and 8 yr old sister that's still in the house with them and she can't get them any help. She's called the police and reported she saw him choke her sister when she was four but they didn't do anything..the child is now 8 and still in that situation. Keep her in prayer that some answer can be found to get them out of this situation. Good chapter..just reinforced the horror of being trapped by these kind of demon possessed people. God bless.
Comment Written 04-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2011
-
I will be prayer warrior for this family.
-
Prayer is what changes things..Thanks so much for taking Jenny's family to pray for. God bless.
Comment from adewpearl
You are building tension and suspense most effectively with that loud-mufflered car.
As always, excellent natural-sounding dialogue. I continue to love Troy :-) Brooke
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2011
|
You are building tension and suspense most effectively with that loud-mufflered car.
As always, excellent natural-sounding dialogue. I continue to love Troy :-) Brooke
Comment Written 04-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2011
-
Thank you for your kind review and continued support.
Comment from Maureen's Pen
Wow that loud muffler got me on the last one too.!
Great work once again. I liked that your showing the extended time it takes for Anna to be comfortable again. Its not an immediate release for abused woman. I think this chapter really showcases that well.
Overall a well penned work. Flowed well, and had really great emotional impact from Anna to the reader.
Still seems real and intense as she tries to battle back to a normal life.
Well done my friend. Thanks for sharing.
Hugs
Maureen
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2011
|
Wow that loud muffler got me on the last one too.!
Great work once again. I liked that your showing the extended time it takes for Anna to be comfortable again. Its not an immediate release for abused woman. I think this chapter really showcases that well.
Overall a well penned work. Flowed well, and had really great emotional impact from Anna to the reader.
Still seems real and intense as she tries to battle back to a normal life.
Well done my friend. Thanks for sharing.
Hugs
Maureen
Comment Written 04-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2011
-
Thank you for your kind review and continued support.
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is veryh well written, barbara, a great job writing this chapter where anna is being harassed by somebody and she has lunch with troy, i can't wait for the next chapter.
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2011
|
this is veryh well written, barbara, a great job writing this chapter where anna is being harassed by somebody and she has lunch with troy, i can't wait for the next chapter.
Comment Written 04-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2011
-
Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from axelbeariter
"Come on, I know a little restaurant in the next block. I think you'll like./Re-write as two sentences, the last: I think you'll like it, or "Come on, I know a little restaurant in the next block that I think you'll like.----"You better watch the ice tea./Not a biggie, because most people don't pronounce the ed on iced tea, but add the ed, so you won't get pestered like I'm doing.----Troy rushed from the restaurant./Nice hook. Another well written segment. If this is only part of a chapter, you might consider making it a complete one. Your hooks have been good in all the segments of this chapter so far. It's been researched that shorter chapters keep more people reading a book.
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2011
|
"Come on, I know a little restaurant in the next block. I think you'll like./Re-write as two sentences, the last: I think you'll like it, or "Come on, I know a little restaurant in the next block that I think you'll like.----"You better watch the ice tea./Not a biggie, because most people don't pronounce the ed on iced tea, but add the ed, so you won't get pestered like I'm doing.----Troy rushed from the restaurant./Nice hook. Another well written segment. If this is only part of a chapter, you might consider making it a complete one. Your hooks have been good in all the segments of this chapter so far. It's been researched that shorter chapters keep more people reading a book.
Comment Written 04-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2011
-
I have been pested about the ice tea for years. It seems to be a North/South issue. I have researched it. I am from the North and drink it without sugar too. LOL
According to the information I have on writing romance, chapters should be 15 - 20 pages. Mine run right about 15 pages, actually some are 13 pages. I will fix the sentence. I didn't like it and was struggling with it. I like your suggestion. Thank you very much.
Comment from missy98writer
Barbara,
Chapter forty-three on FS is exciting and splendidly written. Who made the breathing call? Is Anna right to worry. Ohh Troy rushed out of hearing the car with the bad muffler. This is a nail bitter, my friend. Your dialogue is great in this chapter. Your descriptive writing is excellenty. You do a teriffic job showing and not telling. I look forward to your next installment. I'd recommend your chapter to other readers. Thanks for the cliff hanger, my friend. Please have a fabulous Sunday. I hope all is well with your job as a teacher? Love ya.
Melissa.
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2011
|
Barbara,
Chapter forty-three on FS is exciting and splendidly written. Who made the breathing call? Is Anna right to worry. Ohh Troy rushed out of hearing the car with the bad muffler. This is a nail bitter, my friend. Your dialogue is great in this chapter. Your descriptive writing is excellenty. You do a teriffic job showing and not telling. I look forward to your next installment. I'd recommend your chapter to other readers. Thanks for the cliff hanger, my friend. Please have a fabulous Sunday. I hope all is well with your job as a teacher? Love ya.
Melissa.
Comment Written 04-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2011
-
Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Gungalo
Oh is funny how one can identify a loud muffler from another laud muffler when they have to. She watching herself very carefully isn't she? I guess I would too.
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2011
|
Oh is funny how one can identify a loud muffler from another laud muffler when they have to. She watching herself very carefully isn't she? I guess I would too.
Comment Written 04-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2011
-
Thank you for the kind review.
-
My pleasure!!!
Comment from judiverse
Great ending for the chapter, barbara. The suspense builds! Well done to end with Anna and Troy hearing the familiar muffler sound. Poor Anna never gets any rest from her harassment. From the way you've characterized Anna's ex and his family, they will not be easily stopped. judi
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2011
|
Great ending for the chapter, barbara. The suspense builds! Well done to end with Anna and Troy hearing the familiar muffler sound. Poor Anna never gets any rest from her harassment. From the way you've characterized Anna's ex and his family, they will not be easily stopped. judi
Comment Written 04-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2011
-
Thank you for the kind review. Her ex's family is from a really bad spot, I think you know what I am talking about.
Comment from bhogg
Hi Barbara - another great post. I particularly enjoyed how you created tension in this and the commonality of the muffler. I always look forward to new posts! Regards, Bill
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2011
|
Hi Barbara - another great post. I particularly enjoyed how you created tension in this and the commonality of the muffler. I always look forward to new posts! Regards, Bill
Comment Written 04-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2011
-
Thank you for the kind review. I am glad you are back, please stay around.
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
Anna's torment is never ending...
even with that brute of her husband
in jail and the divorce final, she
is still plagued by problems.
A really good chapter, Barbara...
and well presented.
Margaret
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2011
|
Anna's torment is never ending...
even with that brute of her husband
in jail and the divorce final, she
is still plagued by problems.
A really good chapter, Barbara...
and well presented.
Margaret
Comment Written 04-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2011
-
Thank you for the kind review.