Lonely Hearts Meet
Viewing comments for Chapter 50 "part one, Chapter 16"Anna and her son escape from a man-made Hell.
81 total reviews
Comment from teacherdub
Good, tight, storyline. Tension is woven seemlessly between the cafe, the call, and the dropped hint of something wrong with Troy's tone in the conversation with his dad. Good balance between fun bantering and foreshadowing. td
"I liked this caf©. ???
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2012
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Good, tight, storyline. Tension is woven seemlessly between the cafe, the call, and the dropped hint of something wrong with Troy's tone in the conversation with his dad. Good balance between fun bantering and foreshadowing. td
"I liked this caf©. ???
Comment Written 29-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2012
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I thought I caught all of those. Evil Eddie didn't like the accent over cafe. Thank you for your review.
Comment from axelbeariter
"There's a new caf©--eating at the caf©.--"I liked this caf©./Do something with these----The sun had just set Anna as walked to her car/Change Anna as to as Anna----Another great chapter chronicling other forms of harassment. Well done.
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2012
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"There's a new caf©--eating at the caf©.--"I liked this caf©./Do something with these----The sun had just set Anna as walked to her car/Change Anna as to as Anna----Another great chapter chronicling other forms of harassment. Well done.
Comment Written 29-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2012
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I type in Word and it automatically puts an accent on words like cafe. Evil Eddie has fun with them. I forgot to delet it. I will fix the other error too. Thank you for your eagle eye
Comment from cheyennewy
Hi Barbara,
You naughty girl you left me hanging at the end of this chapter! Now I am afraid for Anna and wonder who put that note on her windshield and what it says. I have a creepy feeling it isn't going to be good. Thank heavens Anna stayed in the car and whoever left the note was probably not expecting that. Emotions between and Troy are heating up and I hope it will better as times goes on. Excellent chapter except for the hanging thingy! Bless you, chey
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2012
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Hi Barbara,
You naughty girl you left me hanging at the end of this chapter! Now I am afraid for Anna and wonder who put that note on her windshield and what it says. I have a creepy feeling it isn't going to be good. Thank heavens Anna stayed in the car and whoever left the note was probably not expecting that. Emotions between and Troy are heating up and I hope it will better as times goes on. Excellent chapter except for the hanging thingy! Bless you, chey
Comment Written 29-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2012
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Thank you for the kind review and your support.
Comment from cce29
First of all, I have never read any other piece of your chapters, or entries, and this really caught my attention. I would really like to know how to look up the book, and read and review it from the beginning. I'm glad you're writing on abuse, and making people aware. Your dialog was good. Your separation of where the story sections end, and new parts begin are done nicely. we had enough info on the one part, for you to move on to another part and know what all is going on. It didn't feel as though you had left anything out. Great job.
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2012
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First of all, I have never read any other piece of your chapters, or entries, and this really caught my attention. I would really like to know how to look up the book, and read and review it from the beginning. I'm glad you're writing on abuse, and making people aware. Your dialog was good. Your separation of where the story sections end, and new parts begin are done nicely. we had enough info on the one part, for you to move on to another part and know what all is going on. It didn't feel as though you had left anything out. Great job.
Comment Written 29-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2012
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Thank you for the kind review. My earlier posts are in my portfolio.
Comment from Writingfundimension
The action is converging from several directions and you kept it deftly under control, barbara. I like Ann'a new attitude. She's becoming shrewd about her safety. Things are moving quickly now...Bev
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2012
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The action is converging from several directions and you kept it deftly under control, barbara. I like Ann'a new attitude. She's becoming shrewd about her safety. Things are moving quickly now...Bev
Comment Written 29-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2012
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Thnk you for your kind review.
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You're welcome.
Comment from bonnick
I can't remember reading this story before, but yet the names of the characters ring a bell !
If you haven't read any of this story before then I think its hard to pick up a story line easily,
This piece does make you wonder about the chapters before it though :-)
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2012
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I can't remember reading this story before, but yet the names of the characters ring a bell !
If you haven't read any of this story before then I think its hard to pick up a story line easily,
This piece does make you wonder about the chapters before it though :-)
Comment Written 29-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2012
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Thank you for taking time to read and review.
Comment from livingwords
Nice continuation of your book. Found a few nits you may want to consider.
Echo problem with using the word "arm" three sentences in a row.
Her eyebrows rose as she slugged his arm.
He grabbed his arm. "You pack a punch."
"Did I hurt you? I'm sorry." She rubbed his arm.
Something's wrong with this sentence: The sun had just set when Anna as walked to her car.
I>I'm glad Paul gave me the phone. I think this was meant to be a hyphen.
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2012
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Nice continuation of your book. Found a few nits you may want to consider.
Echo problem with using the word "arm" three sentences in a row.
Her eyebrows rose as she slugged his arm.
He grabbed his arm. "You pack a punch."
"Did I hurt you? I'm sorry." She rubbed his arm.
Something's wrong with this sentence: The sun had just set when Anna as walked to her car.
I>I'm glad Paul gave me the phone. I think this was meant to be a hyphen.
Comment Written 29-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2012
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The last two you mention I have already corrected. Probably as you were reading. I will take a look that the over use of arm. Thank you for your eagle eye.
Comment from jclark
I had to do some catching up as I have been gone but this chapter, as all the others, is full of hope and happiness but still has the "edge of your seat" suspense. You are doing a great job of portraying the struggles that abuse and violence bring. Well done.
Judy
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2012
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I had to do some catching up as I have been gone but this chapter, as all the others, is full of hope and happiness but still has the "edge of your seat" suspense. You are doing a great job of portraying the struggles that abuse and violence bring. Well done.
Judy
Comment Written 29-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Janie King
Oh dear, now I've got a week to wait and see what the bad people are trying next...good chapter and definitely highlights how these people struggle for freedom of mind and fear even if their tormentor has been removed. God bless.
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2012
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Oh dear, now I've got a week to wait and see what the bad people are trying next...good chapter and definitely highlights how these people struggle for freedom of mind and fear even if their tormentor has been removed. God bless.
Comment Written 29-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2012
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Thank you for your kind review and support.
Comment from adewpearl
Have fun, you two - add comma for direct address
Good dialogue that goes from being flirty to discussing their serious concerns about being followed.
That flat tire and note don't bode well. You build suspension and tension effectively. Brooke
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2012
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Have fun, you two - add comma for direct address
Good dialogue that goes from being flirty to discussing their serious concerns about being followed.
That flat tire and note don't bode well. You build suspension and tension effectively. Brooke
Comment Written 29-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2012
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Thank you for the kind review and your continued support.