Lonely Hearts Meet
Viewing comments for Chapter 60 "part three, Chapter 18"Anna and her son escape from a man-made Hell.
75 total reviews
Comment from gordonmrln
Although this is the first time I have read your work.I can tell from its flow and structure that you have a gift.I can feel the abuse that Anna has had to endure and is still enduring.It must be so hard for these women caught up in domestic abuse.The trouble is that after prolonged abuse the victims become addicted to the abuse.Its a never ending circle and the poor victim is trapped.But this is a very good piece of work and has made me think.If a writer brings this out of there readers then they are a very good writer.Please keep on with this style and flow and I will do my best to read more of your work.I Thank you.
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2012
  |
Although this is the first time I have read your work.I can tell from its flow and structure that you have a gift.I can feel the abuse that Anna has had to endure and is still enduring.It must be so hard for these women caught up in domestic abuse.The trouble is that after prolonged abuse the victims become addicted to the abuse.Its a never ending circle and the poor victim is trapped.But this is a very good piece of work and has made me think.If a writer brings this out of there readers then they are a very good writer.Please keep on with this style and flow and I will do my best to read more of your work.I Thank you.
Comment Written 01-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2012
-
Thank you for your kind review and encouraging words.
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
When Bobby was out of sight, Anna used the chair to left herself feet. <<< typos here
This is very hard to read (emotionally)... I guess I just can't handle all that beating and abuse. Let me know when you write about cotton candy rainbows. :)
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2012
|
When Bobby was out of sight, Anna used the chair to left herself feet. <<< typos here
This is very hard to read (emotionally)... I guess I just can't handle all that beating and abuse. Let me know when you write about cotton candy rainbows. :)
Comment Written 01-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2012
-
There are a few more difficult posts before the candy cotton rainbows. Sorry. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Gert sherwood
Barb you had me terrified for Anna,
yes it disturbed me of how any human being could be so darn crazy and lack compassion
Hope some one came and rescued Anna she need HELP)
Gert
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2012
|
Barb you had me terrified for Anna,
yes it disturbed me of how any human being could be so darn crazy and lack compassion
Hope some one came and rescued Anna she need HELP)
Gert
Comment Written 01-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2012
-
Thank you for your kind review and support.
-
You are welcome Barb
Gert
Comment from judiverse
You present quite a picture of Bobby in the chapter. He's so vile it's hard to imagine how he could demonstrate good behavior in prison. He doesn't seem to have a grip on reality either, as he mischaracterizes Anna's situation and doesn't comprehend that he and Anna are divorced. He's also a violent person who shouldn't have been released. You use his actions and dialogue to show what kind of person he is very effectively. Anna tries to explain but he's too irrational to listen. Presumably, help is on the way! A gripping chapter, so I'm going with 6 stars. judi
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2012
 |
You present quite a picture of Bobby in the chapter. He's so vile it's hard to imagine how he could demonstrate good behavior in prison. He doesn't seem to have a grip on reality either, as he mischaracterizes Anna's situation and doesn't comprehend that he and Anna are divorced. He's also a violent person who shouldn't have been released. You use his actions and dialogue to show what kind of person he is very effectively. Anna tries to explain but he's too irrational to listen. Presumably, help is on the way! A gripping chapter, so I'm going with 6 stars. judi
Comment Written 01-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2012
-
Thank you very much for your kind review and encouraging words. I wanted my readers to hate Bobby.
Comment from JW
This is a very well written, yet violent chapter. In reading it I could recall during the time of my childhood how my father used to act when he was drunk. Good job. JW
You may want to review the following line:
When Bobby was out of sight, Anna used the chair to left herself feet.
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2012
|
This is a very well written, yet violent chapter. In reading it I could recall during the time of my childhood how my father used to act when he was drunk. Good job. JW
You may want to review the following line:
When Bobby was out of sight, Anna used the chair to left herself feet.
Comment Written 01-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2012
-
I left a word out, darn. I had edited and still got it wrong. Thank you for your eagle eye.
Comment from adewpearl
typo in title - part THEE
Fascinating back story that catches us up with Bobby's psycho mother
Lying, bitch - drop that comma
What a compelling conversation with her ex, who has obviously totally come unraveled :-) I am a believer in having characters use rough language if it is appropriate to their personality and frame of mind. Brooke
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2012
|
typo in title - part THEE
Fascinating back story that catches us up with Bobby's psycho mother
Lying, bitch - drop that comma
What a compelling conversation with her ex, who has obviously totally come unraveled :-) I am a believer in having characters use rough language if it is appropriate to their personality and frame of mind. Brooke
Comment Written 01-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2012
-
I took a hit a few weeks ago because I had Troy say damn when he heard about Bobby being released from jail. Thank you for your eagle eye and support.
-
Where do these reviewers live, in religious communes??? Seriously, who lives in a world where upset people don't say damn??
-
I am not sure, but I got giggled for it. So I am extremely careful. She said she was sad that I fell to the side of the writer's who feel they have to swear in a story.
-
well, I guess stories about flower fairies that hang out with well-behaved little girls need no swearing, but yours is a story about adults caught up in things like death threats and kidnappings - I would respectfully suggest your reader stick to fairy books : -)
-
well, I guess stories about flower fairies that hang out with well-behaved little girls need no swearing, but yours is a story about adults caught up in things like death threats and kidnappings - I would respectfully suggest your reader stick to fairy books : -)
-
I agree. Once I also got three stars for using the word davenport instead of couch. I guess everybody gets strange ratings, but I think I get more than my share.
-
My stepmother always said davenport :-) We poets get strange ones too, like the guy last week who asked me if I intended to use all the commas and capital letters I had used in my 8 line poem. Like it was a sincere question. Did he really think I had accidentally capitalized four different words and accidentally used a few different commas? Maybe he thought I posted when drunk?? LOL
-
It's amazing, or when I am on chapter 18 and they tell me I haven't described my characters.
-
Margaret gets that from people - it's like, do they not notice the chapter designation, or do they think novels explain who each person is every single time he appears in a new scene? LOL
-
Can you imagine how long the novel would be if you did that?
Comment from mumsyone
Good chapter, Barbara. It's horrible what jealousy does to people.
When Bobby was out of sight, Anna used the chair (to left herself feet). ??
He slammed and relocked the door,(no comma) before he kicked her.
"Lying,(no comma) bitch!"
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2012
|
Good chapter, Barbara. It's horrible what jealousy does to people.
When Bobby was out of sight, Anna used the chair (to left herself feet). ??
He slammed and relocked the door,(no comma) before he kicked her.
"Lying,(no comma) bitch!"
Comment Written 01-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2012
-
I have fixed those areas. Thank you for your eagle eye.
Comment from robina1978
Bobby must have been recently released and goes straight for Anna as she always feared. Threatening her and damaging her treasured picture. Surely someone will come to her rescue soon I hope.
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2012
|
Bobby must have been recently released and goes straight for Anna as she always feared. Threatening her and damaging her treasured picture. Surely someone will come to her rescue soon I hope.
Comment Written 01-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2012
-
Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Deejharrington
Anna's worst nightmare has come true. I just hope she hangs on long enough to escape or is rescued. Thank goodness Michael is not there, to either be hurt or witness such evil. I can't wait to read how it all comes to head.
deb
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2012
|
Anna's worst nightmare has come true. I just hope she hangs on long enough to escape or is rescued. Thank goodness Michael is not there, to either be hurt or witness such evil. I can't wait to read how it all comes to head.
deb
Comment Written 01-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2012
-
Thank you for your kind review and support.
-
my pleasure
deb
Comment from jadapenn
You did very well portraying Bobby here. He's dispicable and will be back in jail before long. Hope Anna will live through this. She should smash a chair over his lousy head.
Well written. luv jada
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2012
|
You did very well portraying Bobby here. He's dispicable and will be back in jail before long. Hope Anna will live through this. She should smash a chair over his lousy head.
Well written. luv jada
Comment Written 01-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2012
-
Thank you for your kind review. I wanted people to hate Bobby.