Lonely Hearts Meet
Viewing comments for Chapter 69 "part five, Chapter 20"Anna and her son escape from a man-made Hell.
75 total reviews
Comment from Roberta Joan Jensen
"Yes. Could we step into the hall? I'm not sure Anna needs to hear this.["] Troy opened the door and allowed the doctor and Paul [to] walk through first.
Betty waved her hand for Paul to move from the chair. "Wait until you see what I brought for you two hungry souls." She set the basket in the chair
[and opened it.] "All your favorites."
"Did you fry chicken and make potato salad. I bet there are fresh warm brownies!" [Paul reached to open the basket.] --- Betty already opened it.
One problem with these posts is that it's impossible to tell how much of the book is left. We must be in the home stretch, though.
Roberta
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2012
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"Yes. Could we step into the hall? I'm not sure Anna needs to hear this.["] Troy opened the door and allowed the doctor and Paul [to] walk through first.
Betty waved her hand for Paul to move from the chair. "Wait until you see what I brought for you two hungry souls." She set the basket in the chair
[and opened it.] "All your favorites."
"Did you fry chicken and make potato salad. I bet there are fresh warm brownies!" [Paul reached to open the basket.] --- Betty already opened it.
One problem with these posts is that it's impossible to tell how much of the book is left. We must be in the home stretch, though.
Roberta
Comment Written 03-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2012
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Yes we are in the home stretch. Thank you for your eagle eye. I appreciate it.
Comment from Nanette Mary
Hullo Barbara ....
I enjoyed this chapter and the fact that Anna is on the mend. There are just a few small changes to recommend ...
* You have - the doctor stepped in the room ... which should be - stepped into the room ....
* You have - and allowed the doctor and Paul walk through first ... this should be - to walk through first ....
* You have - Don't forget the apple salad, you're famous for ... you don't need a comma after salad ....
* You have - turn anything into special event ... I suggest - into a special event ....
I look forward to your next chapter.
Love from .... Nanette Mary.
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2012
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Hullo Barbara ....
I enjoyed this chapter and the fact that Anna is on the mend. There are just a few small changes to recommend ...
* You have - the doctor stepped in the room ... which should be - stepped into the room ....
* You have - and allowed the doctor and Paul walk through first ... this should be - to walk through first ....
* You have - Don't forget the apple salad, you're famous for ... you don't need a comma after salad ....
* You have - turn anything into special event ... I suggest - into a special event ....
I look forward to your next chapter.
Love from .... Nanette Mary.
Comment Written 03-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2012
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Thank you for your eagle eye. I appreciat the help.
Comment from cheyennewy
Hi Barbara,
I am glad the doctor thinks Anna will be well enough to go home in a few days. I wonder if her entire memory will return automatically or will require a lot of therapy? I know Troy and his family will not give her too many answers until she can handle them. Being beaten so badly will be a nightmare to her for years to come. Another great chapter! Blessings, chey
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2012
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Hi Barbara,
I am glad the doctor thinks Anna will be well enough to go home in a few days. I wonder if her entire memory will return automatically or will require a lot of therapy? I know Troy and his family will not give her too many answers until she can handle them. Being beaten so badly will be a nightmare to her for years to come. Another great chapter! Blessings, chey
Comment Written 03-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from JW
This is another good chapter. It is very well written. It does a good job at progressing the storyline, and no obvious spags were found.. After I had finished reading this, I could not help but wonder about what's going happen once Anna leaves the hospital.
Good job. JW
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2012
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This is another good chapter. It is very well written. It does a good job at progressing the storyline, and no obvious spags were found.. After I had finished reading this, I could not help but wonder about what's going happen once Anna leaves the hospital.
Good job. JW
Comment Written 03-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2012
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Thank you for the kind review. I wondering about skipping the rest of the hospital stay and begin the next chapter having her released.
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That sounds like a good idea.. JW
Comment from judiverse
I guess I've been reading some great things today, and yours is really exceptional. You let the dialogue carry much of the story, and it does the job for you. The part about suppressed memory sounds very accurate. Good news that Anna will be able to go home soon. I like the part where she's asking for some of the goodies the family has brought in. Shows she' aware of what's happening. Great reading, and congratulations on your work so far. judi
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2012
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I guess I've been reading some great things today, and yours is really exceptional. You let the dialogue carry much of the story, and it does the job for you. The part about suppressed memory sounds very accurate. Good news that Anna will be able to go home soon. I like the part where she's asking for some of the goodies the family has brought in. Shows she' aware of what's happening. Great reading, and congratulations on your work so far. judi
Comment Written 03-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2012
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Thank you for the kind review and support.
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You're welcome. Will look forward to Anna making a full recovery. judi
Comment from Gungalo
Oh boy girl, you sure can drag out a good part. Is she going to remember what happened to her or will she be lucky and not? It's a hard thing to go through, never mind twice!!
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2012
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Oh boy girl, you sure can drag out a good part. Is she going to remember what happened to her or will she be lucky and not? It's a hard thing to go through, never mind twice!!
Comment Written 03-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2012
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Thank you for the kind review. HUMMM, I wonder what she will remember?????
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Soooo do I!!!
Comment from adewpearl
I think it's best she deals - add the apostrophe
the apple salad, you're famous for - drop the comma
Mrs Rodger's progress - Rodgers'
Excellent dialogue that sounds just like I would expect family to sound with each other and just like I would expect a doctor to sound
It's so good to see Anna is recuperating :-) Brooke
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2012
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I think it's best she deals - add the apostrophe
the apple salad, you're famous for - drop the comma
Mrs Rodger's progress - Rodgers'
Excellent dialogue that sounds just like I would expect family to sound with each other and just like I would expect a doctor to sound
It's so good to see Anna is recuperating :-) Brooke
Comment Written 03-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2012
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I have a question, I guess I'd better PM you so I don't step on toes. Thank you for the kind review and support.
Comment from AprilShower
Apparently, Anna has no idea that her ex is gone for good. I wonder if she will have to deal his mother being after her now. It seems there is no way she can get away from this horrible family. I would thing things have to get better for her soon.
I noticed a very minor thing below.
"I see this family can turn anything into(a)special event."
April
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2012
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Apparently, Anna has no idea that her ex is gone for good. I wonder if she will have to deal his mother being after her now. It seems there is no way she can get away from this horrible family. I would thing things have to get better for her soon.
I noticed a very minor thing below.
"I see this family can turn anything into(a)special event."
April
Comment Written 03-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2012
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I hate it when I leave out those little words. When I edit, I edit as if they are there. Thank you for your eagle eye.
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You're welcome, Barbara.
Comment from Shirley McLain
As always an excellent chapter. You have left me guessing at what is going to be happening next. I'm waiting for the next chapter.
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2012
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As always an excellent chapter. You have left me guessing at what is going to be happening next. I'm waiting for the next chapter.
Comment Written 03-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2012
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Thank you for the kind review and support.
Comment from gazzagodbod
i so agree stop abuse for all in this day and age you would think we could do it great writing anything that keeps us aware of this problem can only help thanks gazza
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2012
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i so agree stop abuse for all in this day and age you would think we could do it great writing anything that keeps us aware of this problem can only help thanks gazza
Comment Written 03-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.