(haiku) resplendent river
For creatures of the forest, it is the very essence of life.78 total reviews
Comment from judy.gordon
I wish that I had a 6 to give you but I am out of them. I love the beautiful fawns. They represent youth and the river could speak to everyone's life journey. This was filled with meaning, wonderful alliteration. So much was shared in such short words.I hope you win the contest.
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2014
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I wish that I had a 6 to give you but I am out of them. I love the beautiful fawns. They represent youth and the river could speak to everyone's life journey. This was filled with meaning, wonderful alliteration. So much was shared in such short words.I hope you win the contest.
Comment Written 23-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2014
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Thank you so much, Judy. I really appreciate that.
Comment from GregoryCody
Wow. PERFECT FORM! This is a true haiku, I highly doubt even the "haiku police" could disagree ;)
Keeps flowing, life keeps moving, our journeys. It reflects joy, youth, passing days. God could be the river. His joy, love is the reflection of His children. Ooh a thinker in this one! Love it!
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2014
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Wow. PERFECT FORM! This is a true haiku, I highly doubt even the "haiku police" could disagree ;)
Keeps flowing, life keeps moving, our journeys. It reflects joy, youth, passing days. God could be the river. His joy, love is the reflection of His children. Ooh a thinker in this one! Love it!
Comment Written 23-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2014
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Hey, it's so good to hear from you, Gregory! Yeah, I tend to want to allow people to read between the lines a little when I write haiku. It's probably not a good thing, based on my track record in these types of poetry contests. But folks seem to dig it, so I keep plugging away. The haiku authors who use a more direct approach are generally the ones that win.
Thanks for you encouraging review and six stars, gregory. I truly appreciate it!
Comment from Smoothiecool
good luck in the contest
your syllable count spot on
good visual to portray picture
good alliteration in
flows, freely
cheers Smoothiecool
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2014
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good luck in the contest
your syllable count spot on
good visual to portray picture
good alliteration in
flows, freely
cheers Smoothiecool
Comment Written 23-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2014
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Thanks, Smoothie. We'll see...
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most welcome..SC
Comment from Eternal Muse
Oh, how I wanted to give it a six, but alas, I am all out.
This is a gorgeous haiku, Dean (oh, how I adore fawns!) with powerful imagery and some mystique to it, which adds a certain flavor. River reflecting life is an interesting thought, replete with meaning and open to interpretations. And you certainly score points for originality here. Frankly, I expected to see the river picture - and to see those beautiful fawns was quite a surprise. Now I understand of course, where you are coming from - and they are simply adorable.
The only thing, I am not about highligting the text like this, I think it takes away from the presentation a bit. But, it may be just me.
An awesome work, my friend, I wish you luck in the booths.
Love, Y.
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2014
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Oh, how I wanted to give it a six, but alas, I am all out.
This is a gorgeous haiku, Dean (oh, how I adore fawns!) with powerful imagery and some mystique to it, which adds a certain flavor. River reflecting life is an interesting thought, replete with meaning and open to interpretations. And you certainly score points for originality here. Frankly, I expected to see the river picture - and to see those beautiful fawns was quite a surprise. Now I understand of course, where you are coming from - and they are simply adorable.
The only thing, I am not about highligting the text like this, I think it takes away from the presentation a bit. But, it may be just me.
An awesome work, my friend, I wish you luck in the booths.
Love, Y.
Comment Written 23-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2014
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Thanks very much, Yelena, and no sixes are ever necessary if the poem resonates for you. That means more to me than any six star review ever could.
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Oh, it looks great without the highlight. But now I think you have to increase the font to bring out the presentation. I love your large fonts!
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I thought about doing that, Yelena. But then I thought about the last time you told me my bold font was too large, and I had to reduce it. I'll make it a wee bit larger.
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lol, Dean. But it looks great now! Try bolding the text, just for an experiment.
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Okay...here goes...--->
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perfecto!
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Whew! Thanks. These short poems are hard work, LOL!
Comment from adewpearl
Your poem is in good 5/7/5 syllable count
excellent use of alliteration in your first and second lines
with good consonance as well
you create a beautiful scene
with nice sensory appeal
I like the connection between the deer in the final line and the scene in the first two
Brooke
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2014
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Your poem is in good 5/7/5 syllable count
excellent use of alliteration in your first and second lines
with good consonance as well
you create a beautiful scene
with nice sensory appeal
I like the connection between the deer in the final line and the scene in the first two
Brooke
Comment Written 23-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2014
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Thanks, Brooke, and if it does any good, I've got Yeltel to thank for it. I had to change it a bit to meet the contests criteria. However, if it fails miserably, I have only myself to blame for listening and giving in.
Thanks again for you wonderful review.
Comment from DSchlosser
Not exactly one of your usual types of writing. I was hoping the deer would have been mauled by a demon or something, but it was a good poem. I don't know how people think up things like this, but you have a great way of picking out the right words for your poems.
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2014
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Not exactly one of your usual types of writing. I was hoping the deer would have been mauled by a demon or something, but it was a good poem. I don't know how people think up things like this, but you have a great way of picking out the right words for your poems.
Comment Written 23-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2014
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Thanks, 'D', and it ain't as easy at it looks, my friend. Believe me! But, I'm inexorably drawn to this short Japanese type of poem, for some strange reason. So, I just keep pluggin' away.
Comment from DanielEkine
The author (Dean Kuch) strikes again. A beautiful haiku. Very-well done. A nice concept. The artwork is striking. The use of resplendent is inviting. The rhyme is specific and playful. Shining reflection.
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2014
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The author (Dean Kuch) strikes again. A beautiful haiku. Very-well done. A nice concept. The artwork is striking. The use of resplendent is inviting. The rhyme is specific and playful. Shining reflection.
Comment Written 23-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2014
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Thanks so much, Daniel. I truly am grateful for your complimentary review.
Comment from GWHARGIS
What a beautiful image you have presented. Where I live we have deer all over the place. I love to see the babies. The spotted fur and the spindly legs. Great haiku. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2014
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What a beautiful image you have presented. Where I live we have deer all over the place. I love to see the babies. The spotted fur and the spindly legs. Great haiku. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 23-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2014
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Thank you, GWHARGIS. I truly appreciate you kind review and well wishes.
Comment from rod007
This was absolutely wonderful, Dean. I can just imagine those yearling playing by that resplendent river. You paint a picture that's vivid. Well done.
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2014
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This was absolutely wonderful, Dean. I can just imagine those yearling playing by that resplendent river. You paint a picture that's vivid. Well done.
Comment Written 23-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2014
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Thank you very much, Rod. Your kind review is very encouraging, my friend.
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Did I end up missing the horror contest you created? I can't see it at all. If I missed it the five bucks will go to a good cause!
Comment from Sasha
This lovely. Haiku's are not easy...I know from experience. I still get lost with the rules, but reading this made me smile and I enjoyed it very much. I am sure this is a terrific entry for this contest and I wish you all the best.
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2014
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This lovely. Haiku's are not easy...I know from experience. I still get lost with the rules, but reading this made me smile and I enjoyed it very much. I am sure this is a terrific entry for this contest and I wish you all the best.
Comment Written 23-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2014
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Thank you very much, Smurphgirl. Based on my poor showing in these types of contests, I'll take all of the luck that I can get, my friend. I'm truly happy that you liked it.
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It was lovely and yes, I really liked it.
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:>}...thanks again!