Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin

Excellent

Hi,

A nice celebration of first love and first night of loving, all done in good taste - great impact.

Well done. Good luck in the contest.

Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'.... Jax ('-')

 Comment Written 04-Aug-2014

---

reply by the author on 04-Aug-2014

thank you Jax

Comment from lynglyng

Exceptional

Beautifully written. Filled with so much emotion. The reference to innocent love made it so romantic. Great my rhyming and flow.

 Comment Written 04-Aug-2014

---

reply by the author on 04-Aug-2014

thank you for this

Comment from LateBloomer

Excellent

Hello deepwater, You poem is beautifully penned and romantic imagery flows throughout. I especially liked:

Your fragrance lingers upon my lips,
from kisses all so true,
Our bodies charged from endless tease,
this first night love with you

(The heightened senses of lovers, and the essence of your poem.)

Beautiful artwork choice. A poem of passion. Keep the blue waters flowing. LateBloomer

 Comment Written 04-Aug-2014

---

reply by the author on 04-Aug-2014

thank you

Comment from evilynne

Excellent

Ah, first love, passion and all. Your free verse is wonderfully sensuous. It flows very nicely from beginning to end and is quite enjoyable.

 Comment Written 04-Aug-2014

---

reply by the author on 04-Aug-2014

thank you

Comment from victor 66

Excellent

I'm impressed with the number of romantic poems you have put together. Even the ones that are a little on the sad side, have romantic feel. I do enjoy reading them. Thank you for sharing.

 Comment Written 04-Aug-2014

---

reply by the author on 04-Aug-2014

welcome Victor

reply by victor 66 on 04-Aug-2014

You bet.

Comment from acerisestory

Excellent

This is a lovely poem about -- I believe -- the wedding night. You've made very nice use of imagery. There is a nice flow and rhythm to your free verse. Perhaps without intending to do so, many of your lines rhyme.

As I've noticed in some of your other poems, you've used commas where none is needed. Perhaps you feel this is your poet's license, but I would remove them to promote the flow of your poem. In the fifth line, I'd use 'sublimely' rather than 'sublime.' Also, in the fourth line, 'this first night love' could read, 'this first night of love'. . .

Good luck in the contest. Alana

 Comment Written 04-Aug-2014

---

reply by the author on 04-Aug-2014

thank you

Comment from Ben Colder

Excellent

Well done, poet. To those who hold the thought so dearly to their hearts , this poem is very rewarding . That night will always be fresh in the minds of those who care. Hope you win.

 Comment Written 04-Aug-2014

---

reply by the author on 04-Aug-2014

thank you Ben

Comment from Pili Pubul

Excellent

What a delightful romantic first night with the beloved
I love free verse and this one flows beautiful .
Great images, emotion and word choice. Good luck in the contest. Pili

 Comment Written 04-Aug-2014

---

reply by the author on 04-Aug-2014

thanks Pili

reply by Pili Pubul on 04-Aug-2014

You are welcome. Pili

Comment from emrpoems

Excellent

Pure romance is this piece. Touches of rhythm and rhyme
This is the essence of first love--Our bodies charged from endless tease, this first night love with you,
Good luck in the contest

 Comment Written 04-Aug-2014

---

reply by the author on 04-Aug-2014

thank you

Comment from Raphael Montonaro

Excellent

Very nice and passionate poem. Very well written. Good content and form. Great job. This is what you should be writing! This was good!

 Comment Written 04-Aug-2014

---

reply by the author on 04-Aug-2014

thanks Raphael this was my first love poem