The Gobbledegooks
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "Figberry Folly's Fiesta of Fun"Children's Fantasy Poems
72 total reviews
Comment from Sasha
This is absolutely delightful and such fun to read. Wonderful descriptions and love the colorful and bouncy tone to this too. Terrific entry for this contest and I wish you all the best. This is a fun poem for both children and adults. I really got a kick out of it and enjoyed it immensely.
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2015
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This is absolutely delightful and such fun to read. Wonderful descriptions and love the colorful and bouncy tone to this too. Terrific entry for this contest and I wish you all the best. This is a fun poem for both children and adults. I really got a kick out of it and enjoyed it immensely.
Comment Written 16-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2015
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Sasha, thanks for the wonderful review and the sixer - can't get enough of them!
.You should know that there are three other Gobbledegooks poems of a similar style - they are scattered around my portfolio. I hope by tonight they will all be collected into one book to make them easier to find.
Steve
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Do let me know when you put them into a book, I would love to read them.
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I have organised the book, now - four poems in all. The book is called 'The Gobbledegooks' - the link to it should appear with your review and my reply...
Steve
Comment from Domino 2
Thanks for entering, Steve.
Fabulous plays on words - both real and made-up.
Tongue-twisting alliterated cute names adds to the enjoyment.
I can see how much work and research you've put into this.
My only respectful suggestion is you add more imagery, as you've already created the basis of fabulous scenes than could be expanded upon visually.
Excellent rhyming couplets and top meter.
Certainly deserves to contend.
Good luck and best wishes, Ray.
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2015
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Thanks for entering, Steve.
Fabulous plays on words - both real and made-up.
Tongue-twisting alliterated cute names adds to the enjoyment.
I can see how much work and research you've put into this.
My only respectful suggestion is you add more imagery, as you've already created the basis of fabulous scenes than could be expanded upon visually.
Excellent rhyming couplets and top meter.
Certainly deserves to contend.
Good luck and best wishes, Ray.
Comment Written 16-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2015
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Thanks, ray - looks like you and I may battle it out.
Fortunately I was off work yesterday as I was not well so I had time to come up with this
Steve
Comment from Adri7enne
Ah, such fun, Steve! The rhymes are fantastic and unexpected, most of them. Very original. It has a wonderful beat and I loved all the weird images. What a great children's poem. Loved the sounds! Good luck in the contest. You should have this one nailed.
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2015
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Ah, such fun, Steve! The rhymes are fantastic and unexpected, most of them. Very original. It has a wonderful beat and I loved all the weird images. What a great children's poem. Loved the sounds! Good luck in the contest. You should have this one nailed.
Comment Written 16-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2015
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Not nailed at all - finger-nails maybe...
Thanks for the warm words and the six stars.
.There are three other Gobbledegooks poems of a similar style - they are scattered around my portfolio. I hope by tonight they will all be collected into one book to make them easier to find.
Steve
Comment from Jacob Collins
I liked your use of words in this piece, particularly with: Gobbledegooks and Figberry Folly's, it reminds me very much of Roald Dahl's writing. I thought that the piece was written well and entertaining to read and certainly appealing to children. I couldn't find any faults, an excellent piece, good luck in the contest...Jacob
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2015
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I liked your use of words in this piece, particularly with: Gobbledegooks and Figberry Folly's, it reminds me very much of Roald Dahl's writing. I thought that the piece was written well and entertaining to read and certainly appealing to children. I couldn't find any faults, an excellent piece, good luck in the contest...Jacob
Comment Written 16-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2015
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Jacob, thanks for your kind words.
Steve
Comment from flylikeaneagle
Kiwi_ Great imagination, alliteraton and giant words for the kids to get engaged into. I like the rhymes and rhythm of the story with the giant fireworks display. I'm sure the whole kingdom is excited to see the fireworks. No matter who we are, we all need friends. Well done. flylikeaneagle
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2015
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Kiwi_ Great imagination, alliteraton and giant words for the kids to get engaged into. I like the rhymes and rhythm of the story with the giant fireworks display. I'm sure the whole kingdom is excited to see the fireworks. No matter who we are, we all need friends. Well done. flylikeaneagle
Comment Written 16-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2015
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Thanks so much for the kind words and the sixer!
Steve
Comment from strandregs
Fine wizzardry with magical words
are witches anÄ? wizzards considered all nerds?
Do goblins see double
When counting gobloons?
Do fairies spook when they
hear you speak gobldy gook?
Good gooky fun for wizzardy folk.
good gook in the contest.:-)) Z.
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2015
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Fine wizzardry with magical words
are witches anÄ? wizzards considered all nerds?
Do goblins see double
When counting gobloons?
Do fairies spook when they
hear you speak gobldy gook?
Good gooky fun for wizzardy folk.
good gook in the contest.:-)) Z.
Comment Written 16-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2015
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Thanks, Zelick
I gobbledegook
all the time when I spook...
Steve
Come to think of it you're a pretty fine gobbledegooker yourself!
Comment from Just2Write
What a fun and exciting read this kid's poem is. I loved finding all the neat new twists on the word gobbledegook: Gobbledegookians / Gobble De beers / Gobloons
Love the grouping names too:
There are blizzards of wizards [bravo!] and smidgens of elves
And some shape-shifters too, though today they're themselves.
A legion of leprechauns
You must have had a lot of fun writing this. I sure did reading it.
Rose.
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2015
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What a fun and exciting read this kid's poem is. I loved finding all the neat new twists on the word gobbledegook: Gobbledegookians / Gobble De beers / Gobloons
Love the grouping names too:
There are blizzards of wizards [bravo!] and smidgens of elves
And some shape-shifters too, though today they're themselves.
A legion of leprechauns
You must have had a lot of fun writing this. I sure did reading it.
Rose.
Comment Written 16-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2015
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Rose, thanks for the fine review and the six stars - I appreciate it. Yes, I did have a lot of fun writing this - I kno I'm going well when I make myself laugh.
.You should know that there are three other Gobbledegooks poems of a similar style - they are scattered around my portfolio. I hope by tonight they will all be collected into one book to make them easier to find.
Steve
Comment from alf collier
Hi Steve. This has to be a strong contender in a rather strong field. Such a lot of nonsense, but of the kind that sets kids giggling and very soon reciting, loved it, alf
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2015
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Hi Steve. This has to be a strong contender in a rather strong field. Such a lot of nonsense, but of the kind that sets kids giggling and very soon reciting, loved it, alf
Comment Written 16-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2015
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Thanks, Alf - glad you enjoyed.
.You should know that there are three other Gobbledegooks poems of a similar style - they are scattered around my portfolio. I hope by tonight they will all be collected into one book to make them easier to find.
Steve
Comment from rosehill (Wendy)
I am so glad I decided NOT to enter this contest. I am not good at shame, and your fabulous frolic at the fiesta would have put anything I could pen directly into that pot with all the rest. It is beyond great and into the chortle, stomp, guffaw range of delightful. The bill will be arriving for a new keyboard since mine caught the coffee I snorted at, "With Coven Cacophony's 'My Chin Has hairs.'" Your piece is a living breathing thesaurus of thaumaturgy that will have my inner child giggling all day. I do have to bow to your shape shifter observation and could give a list of all of your, dare I say, magical phrasing? But you know what they are. I know you had to be smiling as you came up with each additional line. Pat on the back sir. Winner for sure. - Wendy
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2015
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I am so glad I decided NOT to enter this contest. I am not good at shame, and your fabulous frolic at the fiesta would have put anything I could pen directly into that pot with all the rest. It is beyond great and into the chortle, stomp, guffaw range of delightful. The bill will be arriving for a new keyboard since mine caught the coffee I snorted at, "With Coven Cacophony's 'My Chin Has hairs.'" Your piece is a living breathing thesaurus of thaumaturgy that will have my inner child giggling all day. I do have to bow to your shape shifter observation and could give a list of all of your, dare I say, magical phrasing? But you know what they are. I know you had to be smiling as you came up with each additional line. Pat on the back sir. Winner for sure. - Wendy
Comment Written 16-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2015
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Firstly, I accept absolutely no responsibility for any coffee-snorting incidents - it was a pretty good group/title though wasn't it? I know things are going well when I make myself laugh with my silliness.
Winner for sure - don't think so - still trailing.
Anyway, thanks for the wonderful review and the image of the coffee-snorting - that ill make MY day.
Steve
Comment from S A Bullen
Omg! That's fabulous! It's beautifully rhymed with lots of fun and colour and wonderful use of alliteration. It's like something from the wizard of oz. You should be proud. It's a fantastic piece. Sheryn :-)
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2015
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Omg! That's fabulous! It's beautifully rhymed with lots of fun and colour and wonderful use of alliteration. It's like something from the wizard of oz. You should be proud. It's a fantastic piece. Sheryn :-)
Comment Written 16-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2015
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Hi, Sheryn. Where you been, girl?!
Thanks for the great review and the six stars - much appreciated.
Steve
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Hi :-) I moved house which was enormous and whilst I'm still with the airlines, my hours have changed. I've been a shift worker for so many years that I'm trying to adjust to find time to write. Omg.... isn't peak hour traffic evil!!!! Anyway, glad to see you haven't lost your touch ha. I'll be back! Sheryn :-)