This Aching Abyss
The silence is overwhelming...65 total reviews
Comment from royowen
Oh dear Dean, a really great perception of that feeling of eternal helplessness, but an excellent free verse, with the quality of the literary communication coming through so strong, involves the reader in the guts of the narrative. In excellent involvement in the work, well done, blessings, Roy
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reply by the author on 27-Nov-2016
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Oh dear Dean, a really great perception of that feeling of eternal helplessness, but an excellent free verse, with the quality of the literary communication coming through so strong, involves the reader in the guts of the narrative. In excellent involvement in the work, well done, blessings, Roy
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Comment Written 27-Nov-2016
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2016
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Thanks for your empathetic response, Roy.
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Welcome Dean
Comment from TheWriteTeach
Dean, I know much of the meaning we get from poetry is open to individual interpretation. That said, this seems to be a deep sorrow, or longing, due to the physical absence of a loved one. Just as reality ensures that whispers are lost in a hurricane, teardrops can't be discerned in the ocean, and deaf ears fall on the cries of those in death camps, reality also betrays you with physical distance between you and your loved one. So, in reality, why allow yourself to feel anything? It's safer to keep feelings inside, buried deep within, and don't acknowledge them. It keeps the hurt away. Like I said, individual interpretation . . .
If this was meant a different way, I missed it. However, I love my interpretation! I actually identified with this. An excellent piece of writing. Too bad you didn't enter it in the free verse contest. ;oP
Suz
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Dean, I know much of the meaning we get from poetry is open to individual interpretation. That said, this seems to be a deep sorrow, or longing, due to the physical absence of a loved one. Just as reality ensures that whispers are lost in a hurricane, teardrops can't be discerned in the ocean, and deaf ears fall on the cries of those in death camps, reality also betrays you with physical distance between you and your loved one. So, in reality, why allow yourself to feel anything? It's safer to keep feelings inside, buried deep within, and don't acknowledge them. It keeps the hurt away. Like I said, individual interpretation . . .
If this was meant a different way, I missed it. However, I love my interpretation! I actually identified with this. An excellent piece of writing. Too bad you didn't enter it in the free verse contest. ;oP
Suz
Comment Written 27-Nov-2016
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Is there anything you can't write? You are an amazing writer and I am loving the new you. I love your horror but it's good to read everything else you write.
This beautiful free verse speaks to me about a dreamer trapped inside a dream he cannot or will not escape. He is not real. He could be an insubstantial soul. A soul refusing to be born. Contemplating the pros and cons of living life on Earth. For example, living life right now with the political nightmare we face, would make any sensible soul think twice and weigh his or her options.
Well done. The words and the presentation are AMAZING!!!! Where did you find the hands? Awesome job, Dean, I am proud of you.
Gypsy
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2016
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Is there anything you can't write? You are an amazing writer and I am loving the new you. I love your horror but it's good to read everything else you write.
This beautiful free verse speaks to me about a dreamer trapped inside a dream he cannot or will not escape. He is not real. He could be an insubstantial soul. A soul refusing to be born. Contemplating the pros and cons of living life on Earth. For example, living life right now with the political nightmare we face, would make any sensible soul think twice and weigh his or her options.
Well done. The words and the presentation are AMAZING!!!! Where did you find the hands? Awesome job, Dean, I am proud of you.
Gypsy
Comment Written 27-Nov-2016
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2016
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Oh yes, dear Gypsy. There are a great many things I cannot write.
Take Shakespearean sonnets for example. Although it has gotten easier, I still struggle with the form.
Palindrome Poetry. I CAN write it but it gives me such a headache each time I do.
There are many other forms too, I'm sure.
I'm really pleased that you enjoy my brief forays into romantic poetry and free verse poetry as well. I'll admit, they're not my forte. However, I do try very hard to create them as best as I know how.
Thank you first and foremost for taking the time to read this at all. Thanks to you also for your continued support in everything I attempt to do here at FanStory.
I'm very grateful for your comments, your time, and the shiny sixth star.
Warmest wishes.
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Thank you, Dean, I appreciate your warm regards,
Gypsy Teach
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Don't mention it, Teach. The pleasure's all mine.
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LoL I like that apple very much. Thank you, Mr. Kuch. :)
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Yes ma'am. :)
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LoL I am beginning to like my new titles..... teach, ma'am, ...... marvelous marival... gypsy genius... --->
hahaha
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Hahaha, great, ain't it?
LOL... ;)
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Yeah ... it's good to be the queen LoL
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You bet 'cha... ;)
Comment from Cass Carlton
Dear Dean,you seem to be in a state of great pain with these tragic words . I can only hope that it will soon be alleviated and you will heal. I know you lost a beloved relative recently ,you posted a photo of you and she together outside of a tent. Is this the reason for this sorrow? Please be brave and remember she is with our Heavenly Father. The words of this piece are the utterances of a soul crying out from within the abyss of grief. Eloquent, if sad beyond telling, thy strike a chord with anyone who has suffered a deeply felt loss
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reply by the author on 27-Nov-2016
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Dear Dean,you seem to be in a state of great pain with these tragic words . I can only hope that it will soon be alleviated and you will heal. I know you lost a beloved relative recently ,you posted a photo of you and she together outside of a tent. Is this the reason for this sorrow? Please be brave and remember she is with our Heavenly Father. The words of this piece are the utterances of a soul crying out from within the abyss of grief. Eloquent, if sad beyond telling, thy strike a chord with anyone who has suffered a deeply felt loss
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 27-Nov-2016
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2016
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Thank you for your empathetic reply, Cass.
I'll be brave, God willing.
I appreciate your kind comments.
Comment from frierajac
I like the quiet myself. Is this the quiet of technology you are celebrating as
the abyss? Which is a necessary evil these days. As they say technology that
we are creating today will either save us or destroy us.
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I like the quiet myself. Is this the quiet of technology you are celebrating as
the abyss? Which is a necessary evil these days. As they say technology that
we are creating today will either save us or destroy us.
Comment Written 27-Nov-2016