Comment from GWHARGIS

Exceptional

This was riveting. I love the creature and how the clues led to its identity. The last line was what set this ove the top for me. no holds barred. Great imagery and build up. Very clever and original. A real competitor that's for sure.

 Comment Written 27-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 27-Jul-2014

Thanks, GW, I am very happy that you liked it, at least. I truly appreciate the excellent review and exceptional rating you've given me for my efforts.

Comment from dreamin'

Exceptional

This is amazing! Each stanza is so artfully written, and at the same time, so achingly painful to read.

The only place I found myself stumbling was in this stanza: I kept wanting to remove the word 'that' from the third line

Begging will never provide release,
for I'm a sapless, savage beast
I'm the one (that)you've been warned about
This path you chose with little doubt.

Best of luck with the contest.

Debbie

 Comment Written 27-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 27-Jul-2014

Thanks so much for the exceptional rating and very kind comments, Debbie. In addition, I edited that line. I hope you find it more appealing.

Thanks again, I truly appreciate your complimentary review very much.

Comment from A Matter Of Words

Excellent

There is no mystery as to who penned this little beauty. Your trademarks are all over it. Horror is the essence of this perfectly rhymed poem. I did not expect the last line. Very nicely done. I have a feeling you have this one in the bag.

 Comment Written 27-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 27-Jul-2014

Thanks, Stephanie, but I'm afraid not as it is getting killed in the competition. But, I do appreciate your kind comments. Thanks again. It was a lot of fun to write...

reply by A Matter Of Words on 28-Jul-2014

Sorry to hear that Dean, and you are very welcome.

Comment from pafaust

Exceptional

The scariest part of this story, to me, is that it seemed he/she warned the victim away from the act, but the victim didn't listen. I'm very impressed with the feeling that suicide regrets what has to be done, but must be gone through. "I am the peacefulness that lied" is a very powerful line that is bound to affect many readers.

 Comment Written 27-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 27-Jul-2014

Thanks for your very enthusiastic review and exceptional rating, pafaust. I sincerely appreciate it!

Comment from LucaFen4

Excellent

i read this twice. The first reading, I was thinking vampire until the final word. Then I read again and your words took on a much heavier more powerful meaning. Thoroughly enjoyed. Great job.

 Comment Written 27-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 27-Jul-2014

Thank you, Luca. I sincerely appreciate your generous rating and very kind comments!

Comment from c_lucas

Excellent

Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read. Good luck in your contest.

 Comment Written 27-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 27-Jul-2014

Thank you for your comments and well wishes for the contest, Charlie. I very much appreciate it.

reply by c_lucas on 27-Jul-2014

You're welcome

Comment from RYME4U

Excellent

Wow! This one is so descriptive and scary. The ending is a big surprise.You have presented all the blood and gore very well and the eerie rhyme scheme enhances the mood of the poem.

 Comment Written 27-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 27-Jul-2014

Thanks very much for your kind comments and most generous rating, RYME4U. I appreciate it!

Comment from AAud

Excellent

You chose the prefect cadence for this poem. The rhythm reminded me of a drum, playing while a victim marches to the metaphoric firing squad.

There was only one line: "corrupt, I seek no repentance" that didn't seem quite in synch with the rest of the beat, but I think that added to the eeriness of the poem.

And I liked the surprise that it was "suicide".

 Comment Written 27-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 27-Jul-2014

Thanks very much for your great feedback and very generous rating, AAud. I appreciate it very much. :}

Comment from mfowler

Excellent

You can't resist these horror pieces, because you do gore so well. This one hits the mark with lots of nasty, scary language and great horror imagery. I like the voice of 'Suicide' as it gives the victim a good talking to; warning her of 'this path you chose'. The horror is in the pain, the pain that deceived her under a guise of a peaceful release. Personifying a deed is a clever idea. Loved this: O' see the blood...look how it glistens.' Good luck with it.

 Comment Written 27-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 27-Jul-2014

Thank you very much for the excellent feedback and very generous rating, Mark. And you're absolutely right, it is quite hard for me to pass on a horror prompt of any kind. That's where my passion for writing lies.

Thanks so much again.

Comment from Kausar_Javeria

Exceptional

Hello there~!
Oh my...! This is an amazing personification of Suicide. This... I'm at a loss for words. THe best poetry I've read this week! Great rhyme-scheme and the best part was about the 'juicy faery'.
Loved the presentation as well!
Good Luck!

JazakAllah Khair~!
(God Bless~!)

(^_^)/~KAUSAR~(^_^)

 Comment Written 27-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 27-Jul-2014

Thank you very much, Kausar_Javeria, what a wonderful compliment. That alone was good enough, but then you doubly bless me with a six star rating as well.

I am extremely happy that you enjoyed reading this type of poetic expressionism, and I thank you for your wonderful support.