Ease My Pain
For my friend, Gaye150 total reviews
Comment from harleyangelbrat
This is a really sad story. It rings true with a familiar tone. It's not always easy to forgive, but in the long run, it's always best to. You were in such a tough spot and you have expressed it well in your story. It is very expressive and descriptive which makes for a great read. I really enjoyed reading this very much. It is an excellent read, God bless you!
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2011
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This is a really sad story. It rings true with a familiar tone. It's not always easy to forgive, but in the long run, it's always best to. You were in such a tough spot and you have expressed it well in your story. It is very expressive and descriptive which makes for a great read. I really enjoyed reading this very much. It is an excellent read, God bless you!
Comment Written 12-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2011
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Thank you so much. I do appreciate your comments.
Jan
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You're very welcome. I hope you have a blessed day. Marilyn
Comment from dportwood
Janilou,
The relationship you discuss in this story is one many people would call - complicated. Apparently she stole your husband, and that is hard to forgive. But time is a great healer and certain tragedies have a way of putting things into perspective.
This one sentence gave me pause, so I offer a suggestion for editing:
All at once, you became the other woman and the person my children had grown up knowing as their honorary aunt, was their stepmother when you married my ex.
All at once you became the other woman, the person my children grew up knowing as their honorary aunt, and their stepmother when you married my ex.
Duane
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2011
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Janilou,
The relationship you discuss in this story is one many people would call - complicated. Apparently she stole your husband, and that is hard to forgive. But time is a great healer and certain tragedies have a way of putting things into perspective.
This one sentence gave me pause, so I offer a suggestion for editing:
All at once, you became the other woman and the person my children had grown up knowing as their honorary aunt, was their stepmother when you married my ex.
All at once you became the other woman, the person my children grew up knowing as their honorary aunt, and their stepmother when you married my ex.
Duane
Comment Written 12-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2011
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Thank you so much. I do appreciate your comments. I will take a look at that sentence!
Jan
Comment from dragonqueen1983
i can relate to this. its sad when someone takes another persons partner but it happens all the time and life goes on. well done
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2011
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i can relate to this. its sad when someone takes another persons partner but it happens all the time and life goes on. well done
Comment Written 12-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2011
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Thank you very much.
Jan
Comment from Gideon Roth
This is a very well written submission. It is touching and relevant. I noticed just a few things that you may wish to take a look at.
much time together(, )it was like having another sister,
A semicolon connects these very well.
At times() I mourned the loss,
A comma will go well here.
You did a fabulous job with this and I am happy to have had the opportunity to read it...Gideon
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2011
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This is a very well written submission. It is touching and relevant. I noticed just a few things that you may wish to take a look at.
much time together(, )it was like having another sister,
A semicolon connects these very well.
At times() I mourned the loss,
A comma will go well here.
You did a fabulous job with this and I am happy to have had the opportunity to read it...Gideon
Comment Written 12-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2011
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Thank you so much. I made the corrections.
Jan
Comment from buckeyewriter
Wow. Very powerful and so very sad. Loved this part..."They say time heals all wounds, but it isn't true. Time buries wounds, until a word spoken, a whiff of memory, tears open the wound, and the pain surfaces as though time itself dissolved into yesterday. One never really forgets."
I agree that we don't ever really forget. Thankfully we are blessed with the ability to forgive though. Good luck.
Amanda
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2011
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Wow. Very powerful and so very sad. Loved this part..."They say time heals all wounds, but it isn't true. Time buries wounds, until a word spoken, a whiff of memory, tears open the wound, and the pain surfaces as though time itself dissolved into yesterday. One never really forgets."
I agree that we don't ever really forget. Thankfully we are blessed with the ability to forgive though. Good luck.
Amanda
Comment Written 12-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2011
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Thank you very much.
Jan
Comment from yellowrosebud
What an excellence story of friendship and betrayal and love.Bitterness can keep us for love in so many ways.I feel in your story that love won at last.I enjoy reading your story it was so bitter sweet.Very Well Done!
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2011
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What an excellence story of friendship and betrayal and love.Bitterness can keep us for love in so many ways.I feel in your story that love won at last.I enjoy reading your story it was so bitter sweet.Very Well Done!
Comment Written 12-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2011
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Thank you very much.
Jan
Comment from rama devi
WOW. What an incredibly impacting closing line. Powerful and poignant. thanks for this heartfelt sharing. emotive and well penned, Easy to read.
Just a few spag suggestions-
*All at once, you became the other woman(,) and the person my children had grown up knowing as their honorary aunt, was(became) their stepmother when you married my ex.
*I remember how you cried when I told you(,) and I tried to pretend I didn't care.
*I remember asking all the right questions, and hanging up the phone,(no ,) feeling as though I'd been punched in the stomach.
*You're starting treatment, trying to be strong,(no ,) for everyone else, and I admire you for that.
*If you find it in your heart to forgive me(,) and you need someone to talk to, just call.
This is a touching read, Jan. Nice to see you posting again.
Love, rd
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2011
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WOW. What an incredibly impacting closing line. Powerful and poignant. thanks for this heartfelt sharing. emotive and well penned, Easy to read.
Just a few spag suggestions-
*All at once, you became the other woman(,) and the person my children had grown up knowing as their honorary aunt, was(became) their stepmother when you married my ex.
*I remember how you cried when I told you(,) and I tried to pretend I didn't care.
*I remember asking all the right questions, and hanging up the phone,(no ,) feeling as though I'd been punched in the stomach.
*You're starting treatment, trying to be strong,(no ,) for everyone else, and I admire you for that.
*If you find it in your heart to forgive me(,) and you need someone to talk to, just call.
This is a touching read, Jan. Nice to see you posting again.
Love, rd
Comment Written 12-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2011
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Thank you so much! I've made the corrections.
Jan
Comment from patmedium
What a painful lesson. These hurdles are so high, in life. It's past time you went to see her. Take whatever she throws at you ... you know you deserve it. However, she probably will throw nothing at you. True friendship is like that. Good luck. Pat.
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2011
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What a painful lesson. These hurdles are so high, in life. It's past time you went to see her. Take whatever she throws at you ... you know you deserve it. However, she probably will throw nothing at you. True friendship is like that. Good luck. Pat.
Comment Written 12-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2011
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Thank you very much.
Jan
Comment from rmdelta
jani,
a very strong and emotional story, my friend. Great descriptives provide us with excellent imagery while your soft and quiet narrative is quite well written.
REggie
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2011
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jani,
a very strong and emotional story, my friend. Great descriptives provide us with excellent imagery while your soft and quiet narrative is quite well written.
REggie
Comment Written 12-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2011
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Thank you very much. So nice to hear from you, Reggie.
Jan
Comment from bob cullen
Your message is one we can all learn from. The only thing better than this message is the quality of your writing.
You portray your emotions most vividly, the reader relates so easily to your hurt. The guilt described towards the end is also felt.
Your phrasing and choice of words too impressed me. I loved the following two in particular. 'Memories of done-me-wrongs.' And 'until a word spoken, a whiff of memory.'Both examples convey their meaning with great clarity.
I enjoyed this immensly
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2011
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Your message is one we can all learn from. The only thing better than this message is the quality of your writing.
You portray your emotions most vividly, the reader relates so easily to your hurt. The guilt described towards the end is also felt.
Your phrasing and choice of words too impressed me. I loved the following two in particular. 'Memories of done-me-wrongs.' And 'until a word spoken, a whiff of memory.'Both examples convey their meaning with great clarity.
I enjoyed this immensly
Comment Written 12-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2011
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Thank you very much.
Jan