Life, Love, and Other Disasters
Viewing comments for Chapter 18 "Juliet"A collection of poems on these themes
104 total reviews
Comment from Dawn Munro
Hah! BRILLIANT! You have penned a masterpiece, in my opinion - truly a masterpiece, and I have not a darn six for it! The meter is incredible, the rhyme impeccable. It is a wonderfully masterful story-in-a-poem with a fabulous 'twist' ending! I LOVED it. *********************
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2013
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Hah! BRILLIANT! You have penned a masterpiece, in my opinion - truly a masterpiece, and I have not a darn six for it! The meter is incredible, the rhyme impeccable. It is a wonderfully masterful story-in-a-poem with a fabulous 'twist' ending! I LOVED it. *********************
Comment Written 07-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2013
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Dawn, thanks for the enthusiastic review and the virtual six - I invariably post coming into a weekend when they are in short supply.
Steve
Comment from Rondeno
First, let me say that your feat of rhyming is utterly admirable. You've told a complex story in a dauntingly difficult verse form. Total respect!
I feel churlish quibbling over the narrative, because this could easily be a guy with a diseased or chaotic sense of time ... but he's only just met her and jotted down her number, yet he's on his way to the electric chair. Why would the police announce her death to a bloke she chatted to in a bar, the night before? Why do they ask this stranger to identify the body?
Yep, I feel churlish. The poem is a remarkable achievement.
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2013
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First, let me say that your feat of rhyming is utterly admirable. You've told a complex story in a dauntingly difficult verse form. Total respect!
I feel churlish quibbling over the narrative, because this could easily be a guy with a diseased or chaotic sense of time ... but he's only just met her and jotted down her number, yet he's on his way to the electric chair. Why would the police announce her death to a bloke she chatted to in a bar, the night before? Why do they ask this stranger to identify the body?
Yep, I feel churlish. The poem is a remarkable achievement.
Comment Written 07-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2013
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Thanks, Mike
I claim poetic licence! No more unlikely than the ridiculous events of your average TV crime drama. Also, I was hoping that you would be so swept away by the magnificence of the piece that you wouldn't notice the odd illogicality! ;o)
Steve
Comment from sunnilicious
Wonderful narrative poem. You are quite creative and descriptive, which gives full details that creates great visual imageries. Well thought out and clearly written. Fantastic work. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2013
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Wonderful narrative poem. You are quite creative and descriptive, which gives full details that creates great visual imageries. Well thought out and clearly written. Fantastic work. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 07-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2013
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Thanks, Sunni.
Steve
Comment from Sally Carter
Well I am sure Poe was a genius, but in years to come they'll also be talking about that guy Steve from New Zealand, I reckon.
Of course this is only a 5 because I have no 6s left, but I'm sure you have a whole clutch of them anyway.
I absolutely love this! You have clearly worked SO hard on it and come up with something completely different from all the other entries I have read. I really am in awe of your talent and dedication.
It's a great story, rolls of the tongue, superb word choices, clever rhymes. Where do I stop? You make me realise how lazy I have grown of late. I too have tried one of these in the distant past, and it most definitely provides a brain work out.
I offer you a standing ovation. Quite brilliant.
Sally
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2013
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Well I am sure Poe was a genius, but in years to come they'll also be talking about that guy Steve from New Zealand, I reckon.
Of course this is only a 5 because I have no 6s left, but I'm sure you have a whole clutch of them anyway.
I absolutely love this! You have clearly worked SO hard on it and come up with something completely different from all the other entries I have read. I really am in awe of your talent and dedication.
It's a great story, rolls of the tongue, superb word choices, clever rhymes. Where do I stop? You make me realise how lazy I have grown of late. I too have tried one of these in the distant past, and it most definitely provides a brain work out.
I offer you a standing ovation. Quite brilliant.
Sally
Comment Written 07-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2013
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Thanks, Sally - yes, this has earned a bunch of sixes, may even be some sort of a record for me....
Funny story about the writing of it is that I penned the first couple of stanzas weeks ago, Raven in one hand, just trying to emulate the master. Really I had given it up as too difficult.
Then, when I was trying to conjure up something for this bloody picture contest, I saw a way to twist those verses into something that would fit and I got the rest of it down in a couple of hours.
Thanks again for the high praise and the virtual six.
Steve
PS I can't help thinking that woman looks like actor Alex Kingston of ER fame. Alas, poor Alex.
Comment from Selina Stambi
Well ... that is some piece of writing, my friend! I was riveting and mesmerized from the get go. Got to the end and exhaled - had been holding my breath as the tale unfolded.
I love the style - the internal rhyme and the steady metre.
Beautifully done - this one is going to amass several sixes!
I bet this is going to bring you another win. All the best in the contest. :)
Sonali
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2013
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Well ... that is some piece of writing, my friend! I was riveting and mesmerized from the get go. Got to the end and exhaled - had been holding my breath as the tale unfolded.
I love the style - the internal rhyme and the steady metre.
Beautifully done - this one is going to amass several sixes!
I bet this is going to bring you another win. All the best in the contest. :)
Sonali
Comment Written 07-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2013
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Thanks, Sonali - I appreciate your kind words and the galaxy of stars.
As for winning the contes, don't try holding your breath again - these things are notoriously difficult and I know there are many fine entries for this.
Steve
Comment from kiwijenny
This is so different than any of these picture prompts ...............good luck with the contest ....did you say I need someone to Row Me Over.....to see my Juliette......no oars! I will shake spear instead in that boat.
God bless
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2013
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This is so different than any of these picture prompts ...............good luck with the contest ....did you say I need someone to Row Me Over.....to see my Juliette......no oars! I will shake spear instead in that boat.
God bless
Comment Written 07-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2013
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Thanks, Jenny!
Actually, I did have Shakespeare's Juliet in mind if only for the tragedy and the tumultuous pace of his play....
Steve
Comment from allborn66
This is an interesting piece. I loved the flow - it seemed appropriate to the story. I liked the word choice. I think it is a good poem with this picture.
Barbara
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2013
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This is an interesting piece. I loved the flow - it seemed appropriate to the story. I liked the word choice. I think it is a good poem with this picture.
Barbara
Comment Written 07-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2013
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Thanks, Barbara.
Steve
Comment from Spitfire
This is hilarious. And a brilliant spoof of The Raven. Every line is full sparkles with alliteration, internal rhyme, and other poetic devices. Great story-telling story to boot. So glad I have a six left.
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2013
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This is hilarious. And a brilliant spoof of The Raven. Every line is full sparkles with alliteration, internal rhyme, and other poetic devices. Great story-telling story to boot. So glad I have a six left.
Comment Written 06-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2013
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Ah, interesting you thought it was intended as humour. Most reviewers have treated it as a serious piece. As for me, I'm happy to be ambiguous, as I thought I was being with whether he'd actually killed her....
Steve
Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep
Absolutely brilliant poem, Steve. I enjoyed it so much I read it out to Pete and he enjoyed it too and said he thought it was brilliant. I love the internal rhymes and touches of alliteration. My very best for the competition, Giddy
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2013
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Absolutely brilliant poem, Steve. I enjoyed it so much I read it out to Pete and he enjoyed it too and said he thought it was brilliant. I love the internal rhymes and touches of alliteration. My very best for the competition, Giddy
Comment Written 06-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2013
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Thanks, Giddy - I appreciate the kind words and six stars (as well as the extended audience!)
Steve
Comment from marion
Hi there, kiwisteve
I don't know anything much about poetry ... being a story writer, but I do know when I read one helluva good poem. I think I best leave the stars to do the talking! I expect to see this in Poem of the Month. I'll be watching out for it!
Marion.
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2013
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Hi there, kiwisteve
I don't know anything much about poetry ... being a story writer, but I do know when I read one helluva good poem. I think I best leave the stars to do the talking! I expect to see this in Poem of the Month. I'll be watching out for it!
Marion.
Comment Written 06-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2013
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Marion, thanks for venturing over to the dark side to read my poem!
I believe Poem of the Month is reserved for non-contest pieces so I don't think this qualifies. let's just hope it does well in the contest itself which is notoriously difficult to win.
Steve
