Comment from GE Parson

Exceptional

Super poem - rhyming - rhythm - easy to read.

I like your back ground info. Isn't is amazing that usual intelligent people will turn to a hand made idol and consider it their god?
Keep 'em coming,
Your friend,
Jerry

 Comment Written 20-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 20-Jun-2014

Yes it is, Jerry. It's truly unbelievable.

Thanks for the great review, my friend, and that sixth star!

Comment from adewpearl

Excellent

Solid rhyming couplets in your quatrains including the good proximate rhyme of home/drones
good consonance in sunshine shimmer
You create atmosphere well in your description of the old man's feelings
good alliteration in head in hands and white wisps and carved with care and sit silent
I just LOVE the wall of vaporous gloom/tomb passage
death's tryst - really good
what a powerful visual to end this truly eerie story
Brooke

 Comment Written 20-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 20-Jun-2014

Thanks, Brooke. I appreciate your detailed breakdown.

Comment from ProjectBluebook

Excellent

Looks and reads great. My first quatrain poetry contest to review. Must say, this is a dandy, and I really this style. Looks fantastic and excellent word choice, I see. Lots of quatrains. I love it! You got me vote, Dean. I'm watching mine go down simultaneously. wackydo

 Comment Written 20-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 20-Jun-2014

Oh, don't count yourself down for the count just yet, my friend. After all, it's my work we're taking about here, and the Faceless Committee is rarely very kind to me when it comes to poetry. Prose, I hold my own but poetry...eh, not so much.

Thanks for the review, Wackydo.

reply by ProjectBluebook on 20-Jun-2014

Ain't seen the quatrain contest yet?

reply by the author on 20-Jun-2014

Yeah, that's what I entered this poem in. But we're not able to see the other entries.

reply by ProjectBluebook on 20-Jun-2014

reply by ProjectBluebook on 20-Jun-2014

I will be monitoring ... I will check it out.

reply by the author on 20-Jun-2014

We don't get to vote on the Fanstory sponsored contests, Whackydo. That facless entity known only as The FanStory Committee can do so.

reply by ProjectBluebook on 20-Jun-2014

My bad---no wonder I could not find it. My e mail. chathamrickey@gmail.com Your welcome ...anytime!

reply by the author on 20-Jun-2014

Got it, Wackydo. I'll email you so you can get mine.

Comment from Phyllis Stewart

Excellent

I didn't find it scary at all... he wanted to be with her, and she came to get him. That's a happy ending. I think you tricked yourself into showing your soft, sweet side. :)

 Comment Written 20-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 20-Jun-2014

Yeah, it's been trying to take over a lot here lately. But, I simply refuse to let that happen.

Thanks for the great review, Phyllis.

Comment from kiwijenny

Excellent

Dean this made my arm hair raise or as Jay Lo on American Idol would say ...it gave me goosies...beautifully done.i loved the progression...the clock droning on....also I have seen it so much ...when a wife of many years dies a husband often is not far behind...it's not good for man to be alone..God said ...
God bless...wish I had a six

 Comment Written 20-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 20-Jun-2014

Thanks, kiwijenny. I'm just glad you liked it.

Comment from Maureen's Pen

Excellent

Oh great there you go scaring me half to death again Dean!! Damn your imagery and emotion in this work is both shocking and yet a sense of good for the husband meeting up with this wife. I don't know - you always craft with skill enough that I get shivers.....thank goodness its still light out.
Great job on this one.
Thanks for sharing,
Maureen

 Comment Written 20-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 20-Jun-2014

Making people shiver must be what I do best, I guess, Maureen.

When people ask me, "Dean, why don't you try and write something heartwarming, nice," it's because often when I do, I fail miserably at it.

I appreciate the kind review.

reply by Maureen's Pen on 20-Jun-2014

Not to worry - I think I would be just as horrid at scaring people...especially since I'd scare myself silly fist:) I always want to hide behind a pillow.
Hugs
m

reply by the author on 20-Jun-2014

:>}

Comment from Ric Myworld

Excellent

As the old saying goes, "Be careful what you wish for, as you just might get it." As I approached the "Graven Image," underneath the weeping willow three, it's eyes opened as, it came running after me. Thanks for the pleasure of another of your outstanding poems. Great job. :-)

 Comment Written 20-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 20-Jun-2014

Thanks, Ric. I'm really glad you liked it.

Comment from Sasha

Excellent

This is brilliant. So deeply moving and heartbreaking too. so beautifully written and a terrific entry for this contest. I sincerely wish you all the best.

 Comment Written 20-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 20-Jun-2014

Thank you, Smurphgirl. I appreciate your review.

Comment from His Grayness

Excellent

Dean: this is a very captivating work with much well presented emotion that truly grips the reader. It delivers melancholy in a compassionate way that pulls the reader into the same space as the old man but this is not dark matter....just real life. Great work and please forgive the lack of six stars as I'm down to only fives. Vance

 Comment Written 20-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 20-Jun-2014

No worries, Vance. I know when I post on Fridays that there won't be many (if any) sixes coming. I'm glad you liked it, thanks for the review.

Comment from NurseBarb

Excellent

Wow! Just amazing. I so enjoyed reading this poem. You were able to tell quite a story so detailed in the form of a Quatrain poem. The image is quite eerie.

 Comment Written 20-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 20-Jun-2014

Thanks for the great review, NurseBarb. I appreciate it.