I, Man!
A man thinks himself a god...113 total reviews
Comment from Father Flaps
Hi Dean
What a monstrous poem! Wonderful presentation, as usual. You surely entertain us all.
You know, although creating Frankenstein was sin in itself, I think the bigger sin was that he tried to outperform God. Not only was he out to create the perfect human being (securing brain, hands, etc.), but he wanted to give life back to the dead...a task that already been completed by Jesus Christ when He died on the cross for the sins of the world.
"Deeming I'd do much better than even God had done Himself"
...outperforming God.
"My secluded lab was dank and drab, yet the blood flowed vivid red, whilst I diced and sliced to pay the price for bringing back the dead." ...giving life back to the dead.
You've written lots of inner rhymes. I especially liked,
"Ozone fizzled; potions sizzled, as charged lightning soon took command,
laid low by death; it took one deep breath, then struggled once to stand."
I found the meter wasn't as smooth as it might have been, though. And I failed to understand the last line,
"Blue eyes brightened, his grip tightened -- "Yes, I, man, and I am sin!""
(maybe you could help me with it)
Your author notes were very interesting...how Lord Byron gave the group a "writing prompt", and the next day Mary started writing Frankenstein, possibly the very first science fiction novel.
Nicely penned! Thanks for sharing your talent.
cheers
Kimbob
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Hi Dean
What a monstrous poem! Wonderful presentation, as usual. You surely entertain us all.
You know, although creating Frankenstein was sin in itself, I think the bigger sin was that he tried to outperform God. Not only was he out to create the perfect human being (securing brain, hands, etc.), but he wanted to give life back to the dead...a task that already been completed by Jesus Christ when He died on the cross for the sins of the world.
"Deeming I'd do much better than even God had done Himself"
...outperforming God.
"My secluded lab was dank and drab, yet the blood flowed vivid red, whilst I diced and sliced to pay the price for bringing back the dead." ...giving life back to the dead.
You've written lots of inner rhymes. I especially liked,
"Ozone fizzled; potions sizzled, as charged lightning soon took command,
laid low by death; it took one deep breath, then struggled once to stand."
I found the meter wasn't as smooth as it might have been, though. And I failed to understand the last line,
"Blue eyes brightened, his grip tightened -- "Yes, I, man, and I am sin!""
(maybe you could help me with it)
Your author notes were very interesting...how Lord Byron gave the group a "writing prompt", and the next day Mary started writing Frankenstein, possibly the very first science fiction novel.
Nicely penned! Thanks for sharing your talent.
cheers
Kimbob
Comment Written 10-Aug-2014
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
Again, my friend, true perfection. Rhyme, rhythm, meter, flow. but then I would expect nothing less from you. always a pleasure to read your pieces. never know what to expect
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Again, my friend, true perfection. Rhyme, rhythm, meter, flow. but then I would expect nothing less from you. always a pleasure to read your pieces. never know what to expect
Comment Written 10-Aug-2014
Comment from Tomes Johnston
This is yet another interesting and fantastic piece of writing that the author has created with this post. This has been an age old dream of man, to replace God as the creator. Modern scientists are trying to replace God with the new religion of science. The Bible foretold this when it said that the kingdom of God is within us, so I believe that man is trying to become God. We will see how all this turns out.
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This is yet another interesting and fantastic piece of writing that the author has created with this post. This has been an age old dream of man, to replace God as the creator. Modern scientists are trying to replace God with the new religion of science. The Bible foretold this when it said that the kingdom of God is within us, so I believe that man is trying to become God. We will see how all this turns out.
Comment Written 10-Aug-2014
Comment from TAB_that's me
This is a usual Dean style of creepy poem (I never like Frankenstein). It is wonderfully written though in great rhyme and meter. The pictures add to it but your words paint their own picture. Good luck in the story poem contest.
Teresa
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This is a usual Dean style of creepy poem (I never like Frankenstein). It is wonderfully written though in great rhyme and meter. The pictures add to it but your words paint their own picture. Good luck in the story poem contest.
Teresa
Comment Written 10-Aug-2014
Comment from barbara.wilkey
YUCK AND YUCK AND MORE YUCK!!!! I will be very honest, I did not make it to the end, two stanzas shy. I know you warned us and I only read because you are such a wonderful author and I know I can learn from you, but YUCK!!!! Good luck with the contest.
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YUCK AND YUCK AND MORE YUCK!!!! I will be very honest, I did not make it to the end, two stanzas shy. I know you warned us and I only read because you are such a wonderful author and I know I can learn from you, but YUCK!!!! Good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 10-Aug-2014
Comment from JM
Of course, I enjoyed your rhyme, the animations and your message. Tell me something, how do you feel about cloning? Would the end product be without a soul? I love your work because it is thought provoking.
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Of course, I enjoyed your rhyme, the animations and your message. Tell me something, how do you feel about cloning? Would the end product be without a soul? I love your work because it is thought provoking.
Comment Written 10-Aug-2014
Comment from Alan K Pease
You have a large repertory of words, phrases and devices to give us shivers to what may become an awesome reality one day. In recent times. So far man has mainly used his facilities of medicine to prolong life of the living and cure disease. But there are those of the dark side, even those terrorists who may use Ebola to infect man in Europe and North America. It is designated as a class A biological weapon. We too have refugees at the southern border of the US to infect by suicide bombers. There are many people who have been radicalized by ISIS now fighting with them destined for their home countries. And we must not forget the Nazi's use of man in experiments - Jews and other minorities.
Good luck in the contest
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You have a large repertory of words, phrases and devices to give us shivers to what may become an awesome reality one day. In recent times. So far man has mainly used his facilities of medicine to prolong life of the living and cure disease. But there are those of the dark side, even those terrorists who may use Ebola to infect man in Europe and North America. It is designated as a class A biological weapon. We too have refugees at the southern border of the US to infect by suicide bombers. There are many people who have been radicalized by ISIS now fighting with them destined for their home countries. And we must not forget the Nazi's use of man in experiments - Jews and other minorities.
Good luck in the contest
Comment Written 10-Aug-2014
Comment from krys123
Dean;
Absolutely marvelous and very enthusiastically entertaining, To say the least, and I was involved with it so immensely that I cannot even hear the dog barking to go out.
Imagination took an whole story and made it fresh and new like a new flower popping up from a softened soil. So creative and inventive was or is your work, and as I said, was so entertaining.
The imagery that you presented me as a reader was truly dramatically descriptive and eloquently expressive throughout.
Technically your rhyming was done superbly well and neither of your rhyming was forced nor labored while your rhythm load so well throughout your writing and where your rhyming also helped with your rhythms flow.
Again you masterfully entertain me with your style and professional technique. Thank you so much again for sharing and posting this for everyone to read and may the good Lord be with you always my friend.
Alex
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Dean;
Absolutely marvelous and very enthusiastically entertaining, To say the least, and I was involved with it so immensely that I cannot even hear the dog barking to go out.
Imagination took an whole story and made it fresh and new like a new flower popping up from a softened soil. So creative and inventive was or is your work, and as I said, was so entertaining.
The imagery that you presented me as a reader was truly dramatically descriptive and eloquently expressive throughout.
Technically your rhyming was done superbly well and neither of your rhyming was forced nor labored while your rhythm load so well throughout your writing and where your rhyming also helped with your rhythms flow.
Again you masterfully entertain me with your style and professional technique. Thank you so much again for sharing and posting this for everyone to read and may the good Lord be with you always my friend.
Alex
Comment Written 10-Aug-2014
Comment from Jay Squires
I secured the freshest deadest meat my monies could supply. [My, what an endearing image!]
when last we tried, our creation died after having gone berserk. [Mr. Hyde died? Or did he just hide? Where? Why, behind Al Franken's stein!
I love your high level poetry wedded with the most timely special effects.
You are Master Dean!
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I secured the freshest deadest meat my monies could supply. [My, what an endearing image!]
when last we tried, our creation died after having gone berserk. [Mr. Hyde died? Or did he just hide? Where? Why, behind Al Franken's stein!
I love your high level poetry wedded with the most timely special effects.
You are Master Dean!
Comment Written 10-Aug-2014
Comment from lindalcreel
I knew early on this was about Frankenstein, but you did such a great job of disguising him. The pictures were perfect as always for this piece, and with your wild imagination, you never fail to disappoint. Thanks for another great read.
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I knew early on this was about Frankenstein, but you did such a great job of disguising him. The pictures were perfect as always for this piece, and with your wild imagination, you never fail to disappoint. Thanks for another great read.
Comment Written 10-Aug-2014