The Pods of Unknowing
Journey to Awakening29 total reviews
Comment from Mastery
Hi Jay. LOL for a novice fantasy/scifi fan this is ideal, but for a nerd like me, I found it difficult to keep pace with all the unusual references. But!!! I liked it in spite of my ignorance. It certainly had me thinking, my friend. Loved this line by the way:
"Maman always said I could find the melody and the counterpoint in the dropping of a camel's turd"
LOL Good luck with this in the contest, Horatio. :) Bob
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2021
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Hi Jay. LOL for a novice fantasy/scifi fan this is ideal, but for a nerd like me, I found it difficult to keep pace with all the unusual references. But!!! I liked it in spite of my ignorance. It certainly had me thinking, my friend. Loved this line by the way:
"Maman always said I could find the melody and the counterpoint in the dropping of a camel's turd"
LOL Good luck with this in the contest, Horatio. :) Bob
Comment Written 03-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2021
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Haha, thanks, Bob. I don't look to it doing well in the contest. I tried to keep the language spunky in spite of a lack of content.
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Good job actually if you are in that frame of mind. :) Bob
Comment from Lyn Peters
The Pods of Unknowing was a good read, Jay, with an exceptionally good ending. I don't typically read fantasy fiction, but I am so glad that I stopped on this entry. I look forward to reading more of your work in the future. Kind regards.
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2021
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The Pods of Unknowing was a good read, Jay, with an exceptionally good ending. I don't typically read fantasy fiction, but I am so glad that I stopped on this entry. I look forward to reading more of your work in the future. Kind regards.
Comment Written 03-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2021
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Thank you, Lyn. I'd look forward to your reading any of my writing.
Comment from Cindy Decker 2
Jay
,I am new to fantasy fiction, but I can say I like your story very much. The last part is suspenseful, wondering who will be at his door. I think loss of all knowledge could be the worst punishment for a person! I like the ending too.
Good luck in the contest,
Cindy
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2021
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Jay
,I am new to fantasy fiction, but I can say I like your story very much. The last part is suspenseful, wondering who will be at his door. I think loss of all knowledge could be the worst punishment for a person! I like the ending too.
Good luck in the contest,
Cindy
Comment Written 03-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2021
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Thank you a lot, Cindy. I'm happy you took a chance with this one and that it found an appreciative reader.
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You?re welcome.
Comment from DonandVicki
I enjoyed reading your futuristic flash fiction as it engaged my imagination. The dialogue drew me into the story, the ending left me kicking and screaming, well done.
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2021
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I enjoyed reading your futuristic flash fiction as it engaged my imagination. The dialogue drew me into the story, the ending left me kicking and screaming, well done.
Comment Written 02-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2021
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Thank you, thank you, thank you! For your kindness and also the 6 stars. You made my evening pop!
Comment from irishauthorme
This story jumps out at you from the opening sentence and the tension builds throughout. Good characters, you showed your combination Mexican, Russian, British-German(Scot?) protagonist as an unplanned child, interesting. Your dialogue added to the anxiety, OMG, what's going to happen next? The idea of a dual execution was exciting, and your words in the next to last paragraph fell like hammer blows:
"Two raps. Silence. Followed by another two."
Then the neat twist, "Maman!"
Is there a sequel?
irish
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2021
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This story jumps out at you from the opening sentence and the tension builds throughout. Good characters, you showed your combination Mexican, Russian, British-German(Scot?) protagonist as an unplanned child, interesting. Your dialogue added to the anxiety, OMG, what's going to happen next? The idea of a dual execution was exciting, and your words in the next to last paragraph fell like hammer blows:
"Two raps. Silence. Followed by another two."
Then the neat twist, "Maman!"
Is there a sequel?
irish
Comment Written 02-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2021
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Great! You caught all the nuances. The only one who mentioned that he was unplanned. A lot of people didn't catch the dual execution aspect of it. That was my best review for this story. Thank you.
Comment from Susan Larson
While I am not a big fan of science fiction, I have to say that you captivated me from your first sentence. José Dmitriy Smytheburg. What a melodic merging of ethnicities. Usually I only get a few paragraphs in to a sci-fi story and lose interest. Your Pods of Unknowing kept me reading to the end. Six stars for that!
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2021
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While I am not a big fan of science fiction, I have to say that you captivated me from your first sentence. José Dmitriy Smytheburg. What a melodic merging of ethnicities. Usually I only get a few paragraphs in to a sci-fi story and lose interest. Your Pods of Unknowing kept me reading to the end. Six stars for that!
Comment Written 02-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2021
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Wow, Susan. Thank you for the kudos! And the six stars! I'm thrilled you enjoyed it.
Comment from Mary Kay Bonfante
This is very creative and very mysterious. It has a haunting beauty, as well. Is Jose's Maman his executioner? Or is she simply his guide? The image you chose is very appropriate and adds to the mystery of your story. I hope you do very well in this exciting contest.
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2021
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This is very creative and very mysterious. It has a haunting beauty, as well. Is Jose's Maman his executioner? Or is she simply his guide? The image you chose is very appropriate and adds to the mystery of your story. I hope you do very well in this exciting contest.
Comment Written 02-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2021
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Thank you, Mary Kay. I'm happy you enjoyed the open-endedness of the plot. That was pretty much dictated by the word count.
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You're very welcome, Jay. Yes, I understand how it is with a limited word count. Sometimes you just have to let a mystery be. God bless you, my friend. - Mary Kay
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Initiating into the unknown and unforeseen, the knowledge pass by the Executioner. Thank you for sharing and good luck with the contest and with your writings.
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2021
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Initiating into the unknown and unforeseen, the knowledge pass by the Executioner. Thank you for sharing and good luck with the contest and with your writings.
Comment Written 01-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2021
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Thank you so much for reading, Iza. And the lovely stars!
Comment from robyn corum
Jay,
Wow. Okay, I tell you what. If you don't care for the world you've got, just go ahead and make up your own, yeah? The good news about that is that you are strictly and wholly in charge - unlike here, where we are no longer in charge of anything.
Nice.
I read this a few times. Is mom the executioner? The teacher? Did she come to secrete him away? In your evil way, I'm rather certain you don't mean for us to know. Grrrrr....
Or, more likely, to ever even revisit. We will be left turning at the end of this rope forever. Twisting. Thanks.
Good writing, though, Master.
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2021
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Jay,
Wow. Okay, I tell you what. If you don't care for the world you've got, just go ahead and make up your own, yeah? The good news about that is that you are strictly and wholly in charge - unlike here, where we are no longer in charge of anything.
Nice.
I read this a few times. Is mom the executioner? The teacher? Did she come to secrete him away? In your evil way, I'm rather certain you don't mean for us to know. Grrrrr....
Or, more likely, to ever even revisit. We will be left turning at the end of this rope forever. Twisting. Thanks.
Good writing, though, Master.
Comment Written 01-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2021
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Haha, thanks, Robyn. I made those satellites for my subjects. You couldn't get me on one of them. I purposely left the story open-ended when I ran out of words. I'm just happy you didn't deduct a star for it, LOL.
Comment from Suzanna Ray
Dear Jay, This is indeed a very creative entry into what sounds like an intriguing contest title. Everything from what is seen or said, must be created from your imagination. It seems to me that you have done an excellent job at both, of these requirements.
Your illustration is interesting, because it represents the inhabitants of this strange planet, as being very human.
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2021
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Dear Jay, This is indeed a very creative entry into what sounds like an intriguing contest title. Everything from what is seen or said, must be created from your imagination. It seems to me that you have done an excellent job at both, of these requirements.
Your illustration is interesting, because it represents the inhabitants of this strange planet, as being very human.
Comment Written 01-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2021
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Thank you very much, Suzanna, for your kind words.