Shimmering
a memory16 total reviews
Comment from Pam (respa)
-That is quite an image,
Iza, and a good presentation.
-You wrote a good poem
with good syllable count
and effective imagery of
the roses and time.
-Good use of rhyme
and a good concluding line.
-Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 29-May-2021
-That is quite an image,
Iza, and a good presentation.
-You wrote a good poem
with good syllable count
and effective imagery of
the roses and time.
-Good use of rhyme
and a good concluding line.
-Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 23-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 29-May-2021
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Thank you so much my dear friend:)
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You are very welcome, Iza.
Comment from PENofFIRE
You have such a way with words. I love your work. I sit here looking at the picture you painted with your pen and feel acute pain in my heart for a love lost. Love this poem.
reply by the author on 29-May-2021
You have such a way with words. I love your work. I sit here looking at the picture you painted with your pen and feel acute pain in my heart for a love lost. Love this poem.
Comment Written 23-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 29-May-2021
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Thank you so much for this lovely review it touched my heart:) Please forgive me for my delay:(
Comment from donette1914
you amaze me by the way you write, not everyone has talent like yourself and what a honor to read your work.
so creative and nice photo
you brought this to life with well chosen words with the story line
very believable with a well penned poem
I hope for the best in the contest
reply by the author on 29-May-2021
you amaze me by the way you write, not everyone has talent like yourself and what a honor to read your work.
so creative and nice photo
you brought this to life with well chosen words with the story line
very believable with a well penned poem
I hope for the best in the contest
Comment Written 23-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 29-May-2021
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Thank you so much for this uplifitng review:)
Comment from Boogienights
I think what you wrote is lovely, but I'm having a hard time figuring out what it means. It says it's a sports poem, so maybe it's about a past victory since forgotten? It seems more like a love poem whose memory is erased by age. An intriguing poem nonetheless. Good luck in the contest.:)
reply by the author on 29-May-2021
I think what you wrote is lovely, but I'm having a hard time figuring out what it means. It says it's a sports poem, so maybe it's about a past victory since forgotten? It seems more like a love poem whose memory is erased by age. An intriguing poem nonetheless. Good luck in the contest.:)
Comment Written 19-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 29-May-2021
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Thank you
Comment from royowen
I like the idea of things like memory erased after one gets to a certain age, but I don't think I've reached that age yet. You're two syllables short in the last line Iza, suggestion, "all memory is erased." Well done, good luck, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 29-May-2021
I like the idea of things like memory erased after one gets to a certain age, but I don't think I've reached that age yet. You're two syllables short in the last line Iza, suggestion, "all memory is erased." Well done, good luck, blessings Roy
Comment Written 18-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 29-May-2021
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Thank you so much your lovely review:) and so sorry for my delay
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
It is sometimes hard to hold onto our memories as it fades as time goes by and we fail to remember those who have long gone, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 29-May-2021
It is sometimes hard to hold onto our memories as it fades as time goes by and we fail to remember those who have long gone, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
Comment Written 18-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 29-May-2021
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Thank you so much:)
Comment from Miss Cookie Atkinson
I love the photo you choose to go with your poem,they are a perfect match.
You captured my attention from the first line to the last
This is what I call a food for thought poem.
Thank you for sharing
Stay safe be bless and stay on praying ground.
Cookie
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2021
I love the photo you choose to go with your poem,they are a perfect match.
You captured my attention from the first line to the last
This is what I call a food for thought poem.
Thank you for sharing
Stay safe be bless and stay on praying ground.
Cookie
Comment Written 16-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2021
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Thank you so much Ms. Cookie, coming from a poet such as yourself is a true honor.
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Your very welcome
Thank you very much I'm a poet in learning
Take care
Cookie
Comment from AnnaLinda
Izza,
I like the theme of your three line poetry entry as well as your "glittering"
"shimmering" imagery and assonance and near rhyme.
You have a strong last line and message.
You wrote:
"Tears shimmering down the time"
Suggestion:
Tears shimmering down time's sand/s
Oh well, that's my two cents.
I'm partial to poems about time. Great photo representing the hour glass and roses seen in your first line.
Anna
reply by the author on 29-May-2021
Izza,
I like the theme of your three line poetry entry as well as your "glittering"
"shimmering" imagery and assonance and near rhyme.
You have a strong last line and message.
You wrote:
"Tears shimmering down the time"
Suggestion:
Tears shimmering down time's sand/s
Oh well, that's my two cents.
I'm partial to poems about time. Great photo representing the hour glass and roses seen in your first line.
Anna
Comment Written 16-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 29-May-2021
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Thank you so much Ms. Anna for your lovely review and please forgive me for my delay
Comment from RodG
I can see roses glittering--in a vase or on a bush. But I can't visualize tears "shimmering" down time. In your photo, SAND funnels through an hour glass. Please keep working on the image you are trying to convey. Rod
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 29-May-2021
I can see roses glittering--in a vase or on a bush. But I can't visualize tears "shimmering" down time. In your photo, SAND funnels through an hour glass. Please keep working on the image you are trying to convey. Rod
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 16-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 29-May-2021
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Thank you
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
You did a good job with your contest entry, Iza. The syllable count is correct per line. The image supports your well-chosen words. You captured a moment in time. Best wishes.
Respectfully, Jan
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2021
You did a good job with your contest entry, Iza. The syllable count is correct per line. The image supports your well-chosen words. You captured a moment in time. Best wishes.
Respectfully, Jan
Comment Written 16-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2021
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Thank you so much for your wonderful and encouraging review