Reviews from

Four Horse Island

Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "Problems"
Marooned on an island with 4 horses and a goat

29 total reviews 
Comment from Sanku
Excellent
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I missed this post .So I am reading this first
I ove the way you give information to the readers in the guise of talking to the horse..And Some scary moments !..i am relieved the door opened.

 Comment Written 26-Sep-2023


reply by the author on 30-Sep-2023
    Hi Sanku,
    Thank you for the gracious review and for stating specifically what you liked about the writing. I appreciate you going back to a previous chapter to catch up.
    Have a great weekend.
    Debi
Comment from BermyBye50
Excellent
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w.j.debi,

This is an excellent chapter to your book Four Horse Island. Your mastery is evidenced in this creative write and is confirmation of a highly accomplished and talented writer. I expect to one day see one of your novels listed as the number one book on a future New York Times best seller list.

All the best,

Eugene

 Comment Written 09-Sep-2023


reply by the author on 10-Sep-2023
    Hi Eugene,
    Thank you for your kind words and very encouraging comments about publishing.
    Have a wonderful day.
    Debi
Comment from Alexandra Trovato
Excellent
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The emotion in every part of this story seems authentic and natural. The words you chose when you tell the story are familiar. I think you truly make a reader see that you are just doing your best with the horses and goat that you have mo training about them. I know as I read, I walk through your descriptions and imagery and I'm right there, wondering how I would handle what Ava is made to do. She is truly a good character, displaying all the best qualities that society could hope humans have. She is good to these animals and cares during such a vulnerable time for them. There is so much symbolism and also there are analogies to be made. This story is important.

Best wishes!

Alex :)

 Comment Written 09-Sep-2023


reply by the author on 10-Sep-2023
    Hi Alex,
    Thank you for your very kind comments and encouragement. It means a lot to me.
    Have a wonderful week.
    Debi
Comment from Gloria ....
Excellent
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I am jumping into your novel a little late but this is a fascinating read. Your relationship with animals is filled with knowledge and love.

I particularly enjoyed the protagonist saying they liked the smell of a horse. That is so important to any meaningful relationship.

Tension maintained throughout for a successful conclusion of this chapter.

Much enjoyed. :)

Gloria

 Comment Written 09-Sep-2023


reply by the author on 10-Sep-2023
    Hi Gloria,
    Than you for the kind comments and letting you know what you liked about the chapter. Have a wonderful week.
    Debi
Comment from Faith Williams
Excellent
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Another excellent chapter, Debi. Great descriptions with strong verbs. I'm not sure I would want to be in an enclosed space with such a jumpy animal. It'll be interesting to see how the yearling reacts to the elevator.

 Comment Written 08-Sep-2023


reply by the author on 09-Sep-2023
    Hi Faith,
    I hope things are settling down for you.
    Thank you for the kind comments about the writing. Yes, the elevator is coming up. Thank you for following the story.
    Debi
Comment from Pam (respa)
Excellent
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Good artwork and good story, Debi. I don't know why, but I picture the horses as black. This colt was definitely anxious and probably didn't like being the last one there. Luckily, between Ava and the colt, the door opened. You do a good job describing all of the coaxing she had to do to settle the horse. I feel bad for the goat since he will be there alone. I guess the next step is getting the colt on the beach with the other horses, taking care of the goat, and then getting all of the gear that Ava found. It will be interesting to see where it goes from here!! Well done.

 Comment Written 08-Sep-2023


reply by the author on 09-Sep-2023
    Hi Pam,
    I appreciate the kind comments and your thoughts on the events in the chapters and how you feel about them. Thank you for the encouraging comments about the writing. I appreciate you following this story. (P.S. Jasmine--Piper's guardian faerie--is driving me crazy.)
reply by Pam (respa) on 10-Sep-2023
    You are very welcome, Debi, and I appreciate your reply. If you want to send an e-mail and explain the problem, we are good listeners.
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2023
    No problem other than time constraints. Jasmine wants me to hurry up.
reply by Pam (respa) on 11-Sep-2023
    Refresh my memory about Jasmine whenever you have time😊
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2023
    Jasmine is a faerie who was watching when the elves were teasing Piper and saw the flute awaken. She asked Piper if she could be the guardian faerie for him and the flute. It looks like she wants to play a bigger role in the next story.
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2023
    Jasmine is a faerie who was watching when the elves were teasing Piper and saw the flute awaken. She asked Piper if she could be the guardian faerie for him and the flute. It looks like she wants to play a bigger role in the next story.
reply by Pam (respa) on 11-Sep-2023
    I remember that now. Seems she is a pesky little faerie, and you both are giving us a little hint.
Comment from Teri7
Excellent
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This is a very well written chapter. You used great descriptive words and great imagery with your words. Great dialogue talking to the male horse to calm him down. love and blessings, Teri

 Comment Written 08-Sep-2023


reply by the author on 08-Sep-2023
    Hi Teri7,
    Thank you for the kind comments about the writing. I appreciate the encouragement.
    Debi
Comment from Spitfire
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Exciting action in this chapter. This shows how animals react to the tone of a human's voice. That goat is so patient. Well written as usual.












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 Comment Written 08-Sep-2023


reply by the author on 08-Sep-2023
    Hi Shari,
    Thank you for the fabulous six stars. Animals are sensitive to our tone and our body language. I've heard some of them, including horses, can smell fear so you have to keep your emotions in check to keep them calm.
    Have a great week.
    Debi
Comment from Paul Manton
Excellent
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Wow! That's a great read, Debi. And what comes through as clear as crystal is your enormous knowledge of horses. If I hadn't known that before, I should have realized when I read 'the smell of damp horsehair permeated the air. The colt's coat glistened with sweat. His nostrils flared. His ears flicked back and forth.' That amount of detail comes from knowledge, not guesswork - and I note too the technique of shortening the sentences to increase the intensity of the narrative.

Although the action of the whole piece takes place in a confined space, you have devised a whole series of problems to solve - ending with the colt solving them for you! A very accomplished piece of story telling.
I look forward to the next chapter.
Paul


 Comment Written 08-Sep-2023


reply by the author on 08-Sep-2023
    Hi Paul,
    Thank you for the encouraging comments about the writing and how the details and technique add to the narrative. I'm so glad you enjoyed it and look forward to more. Thank you. Have a wonderful day.
    Debi
reply by Paul Manton on 08-Sep-2023
    Thank you Debi.
    Best wishes from Paul
Comment from Cathy M
Excellent
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I love your moment in time saving the colt. The descriptions you use to set the scene is so subtle and fits right into the action. If the ship is wrecked and there is no one around, what happened to the rest of the people onboard? I know it is probably covered in the other chapters so I will just have to investigate.

 Comment Written 07-Sep-2023


reply by the author on 08-Sep-2023
    Hi Cathy M,
    Thank you for the kind comments about the writing. The question about where all the people went is still unanswered at this point. Ava saved herself by getting out of the debris she found herself under. While looking for others, she found the horses and the goat so she is doing her best to save them. More to come.
    Have a great week.
    Debi