Comment from BethShelby

Excellent

There is always trouble brewing in the background in your stories, Peggy is always there and now Emma old boyfriend, Ronnie is back in town. I story looks perfect to me. I didn't see anything that needed corrections.

 Comment Written 29-Sep-2023

---

reply by the author on 29-Sep-2023

Thank you for the kind review.

Comment from davisr (Rhonda)

Excellent

Hi Barbara,
I'm glad to see Seth is still looking out for Emma. Enter the ex boyfriend being way too pushy. Got to wonder if he's to blame for the attack on Emma. I think he's up to something.
For that matter, I think Peggy has some mischief of her own to cause.

Great job. I didn't see any errors.
Take care,
Rhonda

 Comment Written 28-Sep-2023

---

reply by the author on 29-Sep-2023

Thank you for the kind review.

Comment from lyenochka

Excellent

I like how you have Emma check her phone for the time to keep up with the times. Also, she's now shaking her head so her friendship with Seth is rubbing off on her. I like how she changed her story time because of what she's learning about herself in real life.

I didn't see any errors and you're doing great typing away from home! I only wondered why you didn't do this part in direct dialogue: "Seth did his best to hold his temper at bay while Pastor Pat explained..."

I guess the plot is really thickening with Emma's old high school boyfriend in town and Peggy muscling in the class. I hope you get into some of the Apostles' Creed!

 Comment Written 28-Sep-2023

---

reply by the author on 29-Sep-2023

Thank you for the kind review. I struggled getting the dialogue the way I wanted it so wrote it as narrative. I am still thinking about it.

Comment from w.j.debi

Excellent

It's nice to see Emma and Seth bonding and standing together against certain people who are trying to keep them apart. It will be interesting to see how Seth handles Peggy. I'm sure she will be acting up in some way.
You keep things fresh and moving forward.

 Comment Written 28-Sep-2023

---

reply by the author on 28-Sep-2023

Thank you for the kind review.

Comment from Pam (respa)

Excellent

Good artwork and story to go with it. I don't think I can even imagine what Peggy changed into for a church group. I don't think it can be good. She is definitely a piece of work!

Emma doesn't have enough on her plate, now the ex-boyfriend is in town. She is not happy, and he is very persistent, not a good combination, but I think Seth and his friends and partner will keep things in check, but maybe not before Ronnie gets more insistent. I like how Seth called Emma over to his table, followed by another table.

I like the craft Emma came up with for the children, and I especially like how she gave one to Seth. I also like how Emma explained the change in plan to the children. Well done.

One very small thing:
sat in the circle of chairs, he'd set up. [no comma]

 Comment Written 28-Sep-2023

---

reply by the author on 28-Sep-2023

Thank you for the kind review. I appreciate the help with the comma. I think this is the first time I've been told to remove a comma. Most people tell me to add them. LOL

reply by Pam (respa) on 29-Sep-2023

You are welcome for the review and the suggestion. I'm glad it was helpful.

Comment from Ulla

Exceptional

It was a great chapter, Barbara. I really like this story. Now I did find a couple of things:
What do you bet? = what do you think? You've just used bet in previous sentence.
They dated briefly (in) her senior year.
Ulla xcx

 Comment Written 28-Sep-2023

---

reply by the author on 28-Sep-2023

Thank you for the kind review. I appreciate the help and I have made the changes.

Comment from GWHARGIS

Excellent

Yuk. It's never good when Peggy enters the room. She's that kid that cheats at pin the tail on the donkey. Lol. I'm still waiting on a kiss between Seth and Emma. He needs to hurry or she might friend zone him. Lol. Another great chapter. Gretchen

 Comment Written 28-Sep-2023

---

reply by the author on 28-Sep-2023

Emma will be more than patient with Seth. I think he senses that she's not ready. I know he is. LOL Thank you for the kind review.

Comment from Teri7

Excellent

Barbara, This is another great chapter you have penned. How amazing that Peggy was the last one to come in when Seth is starting to speak. You used great descriptive words and great dialogue! Can't wait for more my friend! love and blessings, Teri

 Comment Written 28-Sep-2023

---

reply by the author on 28-Sep-2023

Thank you for the kind review.

Comment from T B Botts

Excellent

Hello Barbara,
This was well written and easy to follow. Sounds like this new character is going to present some trouble. It's always good to bring someone like this into the picture I suppose. Too much smooth sailing wouldn't be realistic. Well done gal.
Have a blessed day.
Tom

 Comment Written 27-Sep-2023

---

reply by the author on 27-Sep-2023

Thank you for the kind review.

Comment from Jim Wile

Excellent

This was a chapter filled with intrigue. We get a visit from an old boyfriend whom Emma doesn't want to be around, and we've got that nasty woman, Peggy Barton, attending a class with some sort of disruption apparently in mind. But there's also a nice gesture from Emma toward Seth with that friendship bracelet. The contrast with those other scenes was very interesting, and this was an enjoyable chapter to read. Well done. - Jim

 Comment Written 27-Sep-2023

---

reply by the author on 27-Sep-2023

Thank you for the kind review.