Despite Commandments 9 and 10
This particular sin is envy.3 total reviews
Comment from kiwigirl2821
Maybe not just jealousy, but covet as well. Good rhymes throughout and a good storyline. At one point or another, anyone who is beat down, broken or abused must feel like this. Good luck.
Kiwi
reply by the author on 01-May-2024
  |
Maybe not just jealousy, but covet as well. Good rhymes throughout and a good storyline. At one point or another, anyone who is beat down, broken or abused must feel like this. Good luck.
Kiwi
Comment Written 05-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 01-May-2024
-
Thank you very much KIWI. I tried to do something different since all the best vices were already taken. I am glad you liked it! Regards and best wishes from GK
Comment from Navada
I like your creative and imaginative approach to exploring the deadly sin of envy. The series of contrasts between your narrator's tough situation and the person they envy is entertaining and lively. Good luck for the contest!
reply by the author on 02-May-2024
|
I like your creative and imaginative approach to exploring the deadly sin of envy. The series of contrasts between your narrator's tough situation and the person they envy is entertaining and lively. Good luck for the contest!
Comment Written 01-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 02-May-2024
-
Nevada, I decide to go beneath the frequently referenced Commandments and try it from below. I hope I succeeded to some degree. I am glad you liked it. Warm regards from GK
Comment from Michael Groover
Your poem brilliantly captures the sentiments of envy and frustration in a clever and humorous way. The stark contrasts between the two individuals and their respective lives are vividly depicted, making it relatable to anyone who has ever felt a pang of jealousy or wished for a change in their fortunes. The use of rhyme and rhythm adds to the poem's charm and readability. The repeated refrain, "Why can't it be me ONCE! Why must it be YOU!," effectively emphasizes the narrator's longing for a turn of good luck. Overall, it's a well-crafted and entertaining piece that humorously explores the green-eyed monster of envy. Great job!
reply by the author on 02-May-2024
|
Your poem brilliantly captures the sentiments of envy and frustration in a clever and humorous way. The stark contrasts between the two individuals and their respective lives are vividly depicted, making it relatable to anyone who has ever felt a pang of jealousy or wished for a change in their fortunes. The use of rhyme and rhythm adds to the poem's charm and readability. The repeated refrain, "Why can't it be me ONCE! Why must it be YOU!," effectively emphasizes the narrator's longing for a turn of good luck. Overall, it's a well-crafted and entertaining piece that humorously explores the green-eyed monster of envy. Great job!
Comment Written 01-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 02-May-2024
-
I am humbled by your words and I can't say this enough: "Thank You!" Regards GK